There's probably a whole separate structure for emergency care. That's how it is in Canada - a waiting list for non-urgent procedures and needs, but good, immediate care for emergencies. I feel like if you go to your doctor and describe this situation as honestly as you've described it to us (assuming your description here hasn't been exaggerated) you might be put on the fast track for emergency care. Being unable to distinguish fantasy from reality, especially combined with depression, etc... I think that would qualify as an emergency, at least in the system I'm used it.
I know he's not real, but at the same time it's like a part of my brain [specifically, the emotional and memory part of my brain] refuses to accept that.
I am very relieved to hear you live in the UK, where you can get the help you need without bankrupting yourself. VERY good luck to you, and please keep us posted on what happens? I am truly sorry you are going through this. It must feel like a nightmare sometimes.
Just to be absolutely clear, seizures do not distort or implant memories Epileptic fits, though varying in type & severity, only "erase" memory. Grand mal seizure can take up to a day's worth of memories, and suffering these with any frequency can cause substantial amnesia or loss of cherished memories. You also can end up having to relearn recent information and new skills. There are also focal seizures, clonic seizures, myoclonic seizures, tonic seizures, atonic seizures, and absence seizures. These all happen differently and have different long & short term effects. For instance, absence seizures can cause very minor issues, is not noticeable to an untrained as it can be a slight flinch, a blink, or a silent "zoning out", and only causes small lapses in memory and momentary confusion. But no, seizures would not make them feel real nor would they alter the memories you have. Seizures by nature either disrupt particular functions of a specific part of the brain, or they stop communications between different sections of the brain. I speak this from a lifetime of personal experience.
Oddly, I 'remember' being born as well, though this is impossible as an infant's brain isn't developed enough to remember anything. It was very vivid and I could write an entire paragraph describing it.
@Kacey- Here's just one of many mentions of seizures and psychiatric symptoms. What you describe might be considered delusions. However, none of what anyone mentions on here should be considered anything beyond chit-chat and thoughts for things you might want to bring up with your physician. http://www.epilepsy.com/information/professionals/about-epilepsy-seizures/psychiatric-and-behavioral-aspects/psychiatric-2
You would probably want to mention that to your physician. The brain is of course very complicated and only a physician is qualified to diagnose any of it. I hope you find your way to a better place soon.
It just seems like such a weird topic to talk about and I tried getting a normal psychiatrist but there aren't any in my area she said.
I don't know anything about the UK medical system but would it be possible to just get an appointment soon with a general practitioner and let them direct you from there? Edit: Or if you have a hard time navigating the medical system on your own, ask someone you trust there, your parents etc. to help you? Nobody likes to have a problem but please don't let that keep you from help.
I talked to her about it, she said she can't find any normal adult psychiatrists (thank NHS cuts for this!) so I just have to wait 5 more months.
@KaceyFarley Is there no emergency psychiatrist/hospital near you? It sounds like you're really having trouble dealing with it now, so I would suggest that. To me, it sounds a little like early paranoia or schizophrenia, which could also be signs of depression or stress. however, I am NOT a doctor and am in no way qualified to judge this. However, whatever you're going through, I want you to know that I know people close to me who have went through very similar periods and even been diagnosed with mental illnesses, but today they're are doing much better. Thanks to help, they are happy and peaceful in their minds today. No matter whether you are going through something medical or a bad time, I hope that you will remember to breathe, go easy on yourself, and seek professional help to get through it. Sincerely wishing you very well soon! Best, G.
I don't believe it's schizophrenia because I've identified as this guy from when I was a little child. I remember my mom getting confused when I spoke about 'my' wife and telling her how old she is now.
That certainly sounds a lot of different than typical schizophrenia, and of course, with schizophrenia you don't usually identify as the character yourself. But what got me thinking of this was a post where you said you felt that the character was becoming in charge of you. However, no matter what you are going through, I hope that you feel better soon since this seems to be affecting your life in a negative way.
I feel the same grief as he does. Like I miss 'my' wife and 'my' life. As I got older I very gradually felt like my body wasn't mine and I'm not supposed to be here. Talking about it helps. The UK is a bad place to be with health care at the moment because of cuts; especially in my area.
I'm glad that you're talking about it and not bottling it up. In my experience, acknowledging and saying out loud what you're going through really frees oneself. There's also something a little bit 'more between Heaven and Earth' to what you're describing. However, I think it's important that you get doctor's help first because though I am open to the otherworldly and I am religious, if it is something else, you should get the help you deserve. Does it get worse during stressful times or is there no relation with this? I am very sad to hear that you do not have access to good or fast health care at the moment. Could there be any support groups or volunteer organisations in your neighbourhood that could give more professional support, while this forum can only offer emotional support? Best, G.
more between Heaven and Earth? I don't get what you mean. Do you mind elaborating? And there's no relation, it's completely random. Some things 'remind' me of it (old buildings, early 1900's music, Model T cars, etc) Nope, my doctor looked and didn't find anything that'd be good for me. I'm on anti stress pills (tranquilizers) for now.
In the UK there are counselling services available free via the NHS for those suffering depression wait time is about four weeks ( I know this because my doctor referred me to one) this is separate to the psychiatric/psychological services available at hospitals. You need to go back to your GP asap (i'd guess Monday) and ask for more immediate help as there's no way something like this should be left for 6 months. Its also important to remember that although we'd like to help we are (mostly) not experts in this field , we are writers, not doctors so no one here is able to diagnose what is wrong or give definitive help on how to put it right.
They're closed on the weekend and Monday so it'll have to be Tuesday. I just want some insight on why this character in specific (and only this character) haunts me.
We can't answer that because its not a writing question - as far as i can tell you aren't actually writing a story about this character in any meaningful way anyway. That said you clearly associate yourself with this character - why that is is a question that only you or your psychologist, can answer
I'd like to, but it's almost as if the events that happened to him, did in fact happen so writing anything further on him is just non canon. I also really do feel like I WAS him and I'm somehow over 100 years old.
I hate to be this person, but I think you're somewhat enjoying the attention this is getting you. Many people here have offered solutions to you and resources you can seek to get help with this issue - which clearly has nothing to do with a character at all, or writing at all. No matter the reply, you keep referring back to your obsession with rather increasing drama. I don't want to say you're lying, I'm not convinced you are, but this is all starting to get a little melodramatic and repetitive. We understand, you feel like you're him and not you. This is not something that any of us here can answer for you or help you with -- you need a psychologist. At this point, I just feel like you're feeding off the attention of members in this forum and trying to make your claims as strange as possible. Again, I do not want to be the one who says it, but it's really leaning that way for me. Read through the medical resources that those in the UK have given you here, and chart a course of action. Stop asking us why you feel this way. We can't answer it. In your original post you asked if you should just kill him off. Yes. Yes you should. Without question. With the help of mental health professionals.
I'm with lyrical (and Carly earlier) on this - As I said earlier have a look at the MIND website, or call the Samaritans. There are also forums dedicated to mental health issues , although the caveat there is to remember that most of the members are fellow sufferers not doctors so take their advice under advisement A writing forum is not the place to seek help with this
Sure! I meant that it also sounds a bit like a ghost haunting you or a past life that you keep remembering. But I do really think you should get a doctor's help first, and I see that you are, so good for you! Wishing you very well!
