I know that it's been several days since anyone posted to this thread, but since I just spent an hour engrossed by it, I figured I'd add my two-cents. I'm new to the forum (signed up a few months ago), though I've followed conversations on here for much longer than that. I'm attempting to write my first novel, but it's been slow-going, since my actual job eats up so much of my time (I know...the nerve...). Anyway, you'll notice that even though I joined months ago, I've barely posted at all. Now, I can't say that I've had bad experiences with feedback, but I have read some critiques of others' works that have been difficult to take due to their tones. I teach composition, research, and literature, and I grade hundreds of papers every year. As everyone knows, one rule of thumb when grading papers is to start with a positive or encouraging comment, or at least include one somewhere. Believe me, that's not always easy. I'm sometimes one step away from complimenting the student's font choice. Still, you've got to offer some level of encouragement, even if the work if crap. It's simply a humane thing to do. Less than 1% of my students will attempt a career as a writer (I work at a community college, so my classes are pretty much required nuisances for most), but that's no reason to kill any small interest that they may have. Anyone can get better, myself definitely included. I've seen it. I guess I figure that if I ever got to the point where it simply annoyed me to respond to their papers, I'd change careers. By the same token, I would like to think that people on this forum who are annoyed by answering the same question over and over again might consider refraining from doing so. Someone will respond, I'm sure. Hopefully it will be someone who is not as fed up, and everyone involved will probably be better off. One more thing that I can definitely attest to, and that touches a bit more upon the original post, is that some people come here because they do not have a support system in the "real world." As sad as it sounds, I suppose I fit into this category. I come from a family of folks who could care less about reading, and until I'm further along in my work, I'm not too anxious to discuss my book with many friends. I joined this forum hoping to be part of a peer group, hoping that my posts would lead to discussions that kept my head in the game rather than lectures from those who may be more experienced. So while I promise not to ask, "Is this story idea okay?", next time you see that question, maybe just consider that the poor guy/girl just might need someone to talk to.
[MENTION=53210]MrWisp[/MENTION] - I'm actually of two minds when it comes to your last point. On the one hand, I empathize. I coached soccer for several years, and the kids I coached were the ones who were left over after the travel team was formed. In other words, they were the unwanted kids. I worked for years to make them a little better and to keep the team together. Eventually, they became a travel team on their own, playing for 5 seasons (during which time they won a grand total of two - yes, 2 - games, both by forfeit). When I see the film "We Are Marshall", I empathize because, like that team, winning couldn't be the only thing for us. Effort, continuing to play, that counted for all. So, it is not in my nature to tell someone that they can't do something. As a manager for many years in the corporate world, I was always far more encouraging than a taskmaster. And yet...wanting to be a published writer is not enough. You have to be tough, you have to have a very thick skin, and you have to be able to take unvarnished criticism, because an editor who reviews your work isn't going to be particularly concerned about your feelings (one, here or there, might, but that is the exception - it's a tough, unrelenting business). My own view is that one need not destroy someone's sense of self-regard in delivering criticism and I usually try to moderate my language when giving critique. OTOH, I cannot in good conscience say that something is good when in fact I can point out reasons why it isn't. Moreover, if you are going to post something for critique, you have an obligation to those you are asking to review your work to make it as readable as possible, and that means NO SPaG errors. As it happens, the reason I started this thread was to make the point that new writers should not be asking for validation without making it specific to one person's post. It's not personal. It's business.
It was a stupid thing for me to say. Ideas can't be copyrighted, of course. Maybe the guy wasn't a troll, but I definitely felt very upset with how he wouldn't even listen to my arguments. I'm pretty defensive when it comes to my work (not just fiction), but all my reasoning was falling on deaf ears, which made me frustrated since I expected a healthy debate and not an exchange of arguments where we were going around in circles.
Just saw this post in reviewing this thread again, and I could not agree more. I check profiles, too. It is hard when there is almost nothing posted. There are many questions where some indication of age would be tremendously helpful -- not just in terms of how to approach writing or story mechanics, but questions about becoming an author or seeking help for some sort of personal situation. The answers can sometimes vary so much depending on whether the person is 15, 20, or 30.
That's awful. On the other hand, at least you can put that behind you, you know it was nothing you should take seriously. Criticism should be backed up with the why. I agree with this, and also with what you said about thick skin. On the other hand, while critting in the workshops, I do try to say something good about every work I've critted. Actually, so far I haven't even had to try.
