1. John-Wayne

    John-Wayne Madman Extradinor Contributor

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    Why do I enjoy hurting myself?

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by John-Wayne, May 21, 2018.

    So, I felt that this wasn't quite the Happy nor Unhappy threads, but a sort of moment of Self-Sadism/Masochism, where you watch or do something that inflicts pain on yourself either Physical or Metaphorically speaking. Something on Amazon video inspired me to do this thread and I do not believe we have one...

    So, the Question is... in what way are you bring yourself pain today... deliberately.
     
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  2. John-Wayne

    John-Wayne Madman Extradinor Contributor

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    So for me, today's episode of Sadomasochism comes in the form of hoarders on Amazon video. while exploring Amazon I discovered it and knew I must watch, even knowing I will be thoroughly disgusted and will want to start throwing stuff out of my room. Heck, I've already worked on decluttering my room as is.
     
  3. PoemNerd212

    PoemNerd212 Contributor Contributor

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    I watched that movie clip from “Deliverance” yesterday... don’t know why that was a good idea, but I did it anyways. I think that counts :meh:
     
  4. Wreybies

    Wreybies Thrice Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Sometimes there is catharsis in pain. I have seven tattoos. At least two of them (one of them being the largest I have) are easily traced to going through an exceptionally shitty stretch of life and I just needed the pain. I wouldn't have said that was the reason, had you asked my at the time, because we're fantastic at deluding and lying to ourselves, but in retrospect, yeah.
     
  5. honey hatter

    honey hatter Banned

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    I used to be a cutter, I've lots of scars that were given to me. I thought what's wrong with scars I give myself? At least then I have control over the blade. In some ways I'll always be a cutter, it feels good. It's hard to explain why cutting feels good to me, because there is pain but also pleasure. I don't cut anymore even though the thought crosses my mind from time to time. I know it's self destructive, when you've got as many scars as I do in my view more scars that I choose don't matter. I'm going through some very positive things lately, I'd rather go forward than back.

    I am going to get my first tattoos very soon.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2018
  6. John Calligan

    John Calligan Contributor Contributor

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    I'm almost 40 and done martial arts as a hobby most of my life. I keep collecting injuries but my self identity is too wrapped up in the activity too stop.
     
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  7. John Calligan

    John Calligan Contributor Contributor

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    Yup. Have you ever looked through a hoarder's stuff IRL? It's crazy what you'll find multiples of. Chainsaws. Rolls of insulation. Rows of washing machines. It's really different.
     
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  8. John-Wayne

    John-Wayne Madman Extradinor Contributor

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    My Grandpa was a semi-hoarder/collector, inside his house was fine but the outside was cluttered with junk, lawn mowers, tools, and all sorts of other junk. But as for a true hoarder, my OCD would not allow me to be in their home. I thought I was a Hoarder till I realized I could easily throw stuff away. LOL
     
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  9. John Calligan

    John Calligan Contributor Contributor

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    It's a weird impulse right? Our things = our identity (think that was the name of an article I read recently). It's got to be like an extension of the normal collecting instinct. Like, I have a book case full of gaming books. I haven't even played a game in 2-3 years, and with one exception, I only played one thing on the shelf in probably 10 years, but I'm super protective of my gaming books. Why?

    I actually really value clear floor / wall space and open area, but I have a whole portion of this room full of old games I'm probably not going to play. I could reduce all that by 90%, and make space for other books, but I'm not going to.

     
    Last edited: May 22, 2018
  10. John-Wayne

    John-Wayne Madman Extradinor Contributor

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    Maybe, because there are some things I do collect, but usually they are small, like lapel pins and coins. But my biggest valuable are my writings (I know that is cliched, but still I put a lot of work into those)

    I also have games I lug around, some of them I haven't played in 20 years perhaps. NES, SNES, N64, etc. But I also buy games I like and not just everything because it's a (name of system) game, though I did miss out on some gems. I am also protective with no real reason for it other than it's mine. However, I am coming to a realization that when I go, it'll all be gone as well, part of other people's collections or in the garbage.

    IN the end there is onl one thing I care to be preserved, my writings, maybe someone smart in my family will be able to make money off them. :p
     
  11. John Calligan

    John Calligan Contributor Contributor

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    I feel you on that.
     
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  12. 8Bit Bob

    8Bit Bob Here ;) Contributor

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    Nice D&D book collection, dude! :D

    Edit: Actually, I can't tell, are all the books to the left of the three 5e books D&D?
     
  13. John-Wayne

    John-Wayne Madman Extradinor Contributor

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    Same Here, LOL. (somehow I missed this part)

    I second this, I missed the photo on my Tablet, but very nice collection. I too would be protective of those D&D books if I had them. Sadly, I was to late for D&D. or WH40k or what ever those rule books are.

    The biggest problem is leaving them with the right person, one of the draw backs of not having kids of my own. :p . and most of my Nephews and Nieces are morons, or don't have an application for this sort of stuff. (but then again they are still young, so we will see)
     
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  14. John Calligan

    John Calligan Contributor Contributor

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    They're all "Pathfinder" books. According to legend, when Hasbro bought D&D, they changed all the rules for 4e. Some of the older writers went to a new company and made pathfinder, which is basically D&D 3.75, and the version I like the best. I've never gotten to play 5e, but the art is sweet.
     
  15. 8Bit Bob

    8Bit Bob Here ;) Contributor

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    I thought they looked like Pathfinder, but I don't know much about it so I couldn't tell for sure :p
     
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  16. John-Wayne

    John-Wayne Madman Extradinor Contributor

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    Interesting, I never got into D&D, I tried but never got a real chance. so Never heard or Pathfinder... I'm just jealous I dont' have any of those rule books, I bet they are valuable.
     
  17. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    Where cushions are comfy, and straps hold firm.
    Cause I am a Sadomasochist.:supercool:

    I play with sterile needles, and on rare occasion
    a scalpel for fun. Been considering busting open
    the sutures but they are kinda spendy to just
    use in wanton fashion. :(

    Still sorting and working on all that whacking
    business, but it would be slightly less messy
    endeavor. :p

    I will just let your little minds wonder about the
    delights of all the fun shiny friends I have and
    what I enjoy doing with them.
    :superwink:
     
  18. John-Wayne

    John-Wayne Madman Extradinor Contributor

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    So, uh, are you a Doctor's Assistant or coroner assistant? either way I am fascinated as a lowly RxTech. :p .
     
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  19. John Calligan

    John Calligan Contributor Contributor

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    lol Valuable might be a strong statement.

    The cool thing about Pathfinder is they put the books online for free. If you want to play it, it's pretty cheap and easy.

    Game Rules: http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/

    Where to Play: https://roll20.net/

    Best Free Voice Chat Software: https://discordapp.com/
     
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  20. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    Nope. :p
    Fetishist. :supergrin:
     
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  21. John-Wayne

    John-Wayne Madman Extradinor Contributor

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    Ah Gotcha, I thought maybe you were medical.
    :supergrin:
     
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  22. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    Only for fun. :superwink:
    Keep Calm And Play Doctor.png :supergrin:
     
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  23. John-Wayne

    John-Wayne Madman Extradinor Contributor

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    :supershock::superconfused::write:
     
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  24. PoemNerd212

    PoemNerd212 Contributor Contributor

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    Self harm feels good for a couple reasons: one for physically and one for emotionally. The body responds to pain by sending endorphins to the injured site as a way to lessen the sometimes crippling effects pain can have at higher levels. I remember falling off my horse while galloping on trail one time, and I got some nasty cuts on my knuckles from the ground ripping up the skin on them. Even though it went pretty deep, and there were plenty of other places that hurt, I got right on up and started walking after my horse. It wasn’t until maybe ten minutes after that I really started to feel it. I nearly passed out while cleaning out my cuts when I got home; the pain was so bad, I was seeing red and black.

    As for emotionally, there’s obviously more than one reason and it depends on the person. Control, distraction, punishment... those are some of my reasons. For me, there’s also the fact that it’s the only thing in my life that I have to myself -that nobody else can see, judge, shame me for, or take from me. In a way, it gives me something that I don’t get from anything else in my life.

    Congrats on getting your first tattoos soon! What do you plan on getting?
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2018
  25. honey hatter

    honey hatter Banned

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    I want at least two, I heard most tattoo parlor have a minimum or it gets expensive if you walk in and want a tiny one. The first I want is on the left side of my neck. Right over my artery. Not bite marks exactly, a simple but artistic line also mixed with small breaks in the line filled with lots of dots and dashes. The top and bottom of the line will connect and be triangles with dots, dashes, and more solid lines. The geometric shapes of the triangles will be fang marks. Something similar over my wrists and something on my forearm where I've been cut and shared blood.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2018
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