1. Gannon

    Gannon Contributor Contributor

    Jan 15, 2007
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    Manchester, England

    Winner jo spumoni Short Story Contest 71: Simon Says

    Discussion in 'Monthly Short Story Contest Archives' started by Gannon, Jul 20, 2010.

    jo spumoni - King Simon

    King Simon sat on his throne and sighed. His guards stood like statues, awaiting their orders. He sighed again, this time louder. There was still no response.

    “Well, go ahead,” he snapped. “Ask me what’s wrong!”

    “Sir,” said one of the guards timidly. “Is that a direct order?”

    Simon grunted irritably. “Yes! Simon says ask me what’s the matter!”

    The guards all said, in a perfectly-timed chorus, “What’s the matter, King Simon?”

    “I’m fed up with this! No one takes initiative anymore! They just do whatever I tell them to do without a single thought in their heads.”

    There was no answer.

    “Simon says respond!”

    “Well, King Simon, you decreed that nothing could be done without your OK. Or else…(the man swallowed)…or else he is banished to the kingdom of Out.”

    Simon felt rather than heard a fearful inhalation from each guard. Nobody wanted to live in Out. It was desolate and lonely, and one’s only companions were other criminals of the state, those who had refused to obey Simon or misunderstood what was an order and what was not an order.

    “If we want to remain in the fair kingdom of In, we must obey His Majesty, King Simon.”

    “All hail King Simon!” they shouted as a chorus.

    “I am going to take a walk,” King Simon said after a time.

    Without thinking, one of the guards retrieved his coat and handed it to the despot. Simon looked at the young man, fuming.

    “What have you done, you fool?”

    Realizing his error, the guard kneeled. “Please Your Majesty. Have mercy. I knew that in a moment you were going to ask for your coat! I merely anticipated.”

    “You are banished!” The other guards cried in unison. “To Out with you!”

    The guard hung his head and left the court.

    “Alas,” sighed King Simon. “He was a fine guard. But it had to be done.” He rose from his throne.

    “Simon says walk.” The king and his guards wandered the fair kingdom. A few minutes later, one of the guards noticed that the king was growing tired.

    “Stop!” he cried. A few of the guards stopped immediately.

    There was a silence. “King Simon didn’t say to stop!” the king roared, outraged.

    Four guards walked, heads down, toward the kingdom of Out.

    Simon looked around him. There were only two obedient guards left, walking in place so as not to disobey the king’s orders.

    “You have done well my sons,” King Simon acknowledged gratefully. “Come and receive your prize.”

    The more ambitious of the two guards walked eagerly forward, awaiting his rich reward. But alas!

    “Simon didn’t say,” the king cried. “From henceforth, thou art banished!”

    And away he walked, to join the others in the kingdom of Out.

    And now there was but one guard who awaited him, standing proudly in attention.
    And King Simon sighed, nodded, removed his crown, and said, “Sir Kevin, I name you my successor, King of In.”

    The guard proudly donned the throne. “You are Simon II,” the former-king acknowledged.

    “Regroup everyone!” called the new king. “Simon says regroup! Simon grants full amnesty to all those who disobeyed, provided they agree to obey the new administration of King Simon II.”

    And yet, nobody returned. Confused, the Simon I and Simon II trekked to Out to see what was the matter.

    “We are happy here,” said one of the guards in reply to Simon’s question. “Here there is the possibility to rise in the world. I myself have gone from commoner to knight to prince. Soon, I shall be king of the fair kingdom of Four Square.”

    “Here,” a girl explained, “You are rewarded for your actions rather than chided for your mistakes. If you win a duel with a nobleman, you gain a higher status. In your kingdom, Your Majesty, there is only obedience and disobedience.”

    “We no longer wish to obey you,” said the guard who had accidentally given Simon I his coat. “We prefer to make our own decisions.”

    “But Simon says return!” cried Simon II. “Simon says!”

    The citizens of Four Square eyed the young figure in king’s clothing. Then, a resident who had never lived in In asked a very simple question, “Who’s Simon?”
  2. TessaL

    TessaL New Member

    Aug 4, 2010
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    Hilarius. rotfl
  3. menehillion

    menehillion New Member

    Jun 2, 2010
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    Heheh. clever :)
  4. jo spumoni

    jo spumoni Active Member

    Jun 23, 2010
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    La Jolla, CA (and Mission Viejo, CA, during the su
    Thanks! (I mean, Simon says Thanks).
  5. Reggie

    Reggie I Like 'Em hot "N Spicy Contributor

    Nov 10, 2010
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    Congradulations, Jo. Sarah. Wait, why is this thread old? It's been a year now.

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