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  1. GrahamLewis

    GrahamLewis Seeking the bigger self Contributor Contest Winner 2023 Contest Winner 2022

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    Currently Reading::
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    Words you'd rather not hear

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by GrahamLewis, Mar 19, 2020.

    "Hey dad, the toilet's clogged!"
     
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  2. Some Guy

    Some Guy Manguage Langler Supporter Contributor

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    "Wow! It's never done that before!"
     
  3. Some Guy

    Some Guy Manguage Langler Supporter Contributor

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    "Hey, buddy. Can I have that burger when yer done with it?"
     
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  4. Dogberry's Watch

    Dogberry's Watch Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023 Contest Winner 2022

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    Moist creamy ranch.
     
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  5. SomePenName

    SomePenName Member

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    Jeez that went poorly, even by amputation standards.
     
  6. SwordyPop

    SwordyPop New Member

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    Can I have a fry? I just want one.
     
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  7. Naomasa298

    Naomasa298 HP: 10/190 Status: Confused Contributor

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    I'm not putting that in my mouth.
     
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  8. Malisky

    Malisky Malkatorean Contributor

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    Recalculating...
    "Wakey, wakey... Get up!" (Any time). :nosleep:
    "You're late!" (Any time). :nosleep:
    "'Something' happened and I won't make it. Sorry." (During shooting schedule). :dead:
    "Smoking is bad for you." (Any time). :nosleep:
    "Ticket." (Whenever I got none). :dead:
    "We're out of coffee. Go get some." (Right after I get out of bed). :cry:
    "We're out of cigarettes. Go get some." (Right after I get out of bed). :cry:
    "We're out of money. Go get some." (Right after I get out of bed). :supermad:
    "Namaste." (Pou' maste, re malaka? Explanation: In greek "namaste" sounds like saying "here we are". What I wrote translates as "where at, you jerk off?"? It just sounds too pretentious to me and ironic at the same time. It's not so oftenly used but I detest it perhaps due to the kind of people around me that use it).
     
  9. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    "Hey y'all, watch this!"

    "We need to talk."

    (related to above) "Do you have a minute?"

    "I don't think it's supposed to be that color."

    "Don't worry, it'll fit."
     
  10. Some Guy

    Some Guy Manguage Langler Supporter Contributor

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    "C'mon, it doesn't hurt that much."

    "How d'you know you don't like it if you don't try it?"
     
  11. Earp

    Earp Contributor Contributor

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    "You'll feel a little pressure."

    "Pull up and wait, and we'll bring it out to you."

    "Do you know why I pulled you over, sir?"
     
  12. Pazcore1

    Pazcore1 New Member

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    oooh! green frothy discharge.
     
  13. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Just relax, it'll only hurt for a moment.

    Uh-oh, I think it's your turn to drive.

    All of our customer service representatives are busy at the moment, but if you'll just stay on the line someone will be available to help you shortly.
     
  14. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    The health inspector is here.
     
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  15. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Telemachus Sneezed
    I tended bar one summer cash under the table. Saturday days in a complete dive. State law didn't say everybody behind the bar had to be licensed, but there had to be at least one licensed bartender (probably a ratio for big places, IDK) on duty at all times.

    So one day a new guy comes in, mid-40s, no issue, but when I ask him what he'll have he pulls out a badge and says he's from the county liquor commission and on an inspection. I tell him I'm brand new, never had an inspection before and don't remember the procedure but whatever he needs to do.

    All he did was took a quick look around from the customer side, checked a few boxes on a form he had, and asked me to sign it. I'm not a legible writer on the best of days, but I'd defy anyone who saw that signature to even assign it to a specific linguistic family. I left a note in the office for my boss and told my relief when he got in, but nothing else ever came of it, praise be to the scale semi-truck tire that's sitting on my desk right now.
     
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  16. Some Guy

    Some Guy Manguage Langler Supporter Contributor

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    What's the story with the tire?
     
  17. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Telemachus Sneezed
    It's on my desk. I'm not one to bother deities, so I prefer a more traditional system of glorifying inanimate objects when events seem to warrant.
     
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  18. Aaron Smith

    Aaron Smith Banned Contributor

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    I have some far-right friends and most of the time they're just fun and games, but once in a while they'll start talking about how Jews are ruining the world (I do not sympathize with these views), and I just kind of become the child of two fighting parents, except that the parents agree with each other and are looking to me.
     
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  19. Moon

    Moon Contributor Contributor

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    "You have a doctor's appointment scheduled on..."

    "Yo, man, can you loan me a dolla, bruh?"

    "Excuse me, I'm working with [save the fucking world foundation number 100k] do you have a minute?"
     
  20. Naomasa298

    Naomasa298 HP: 10/190 Status: Confused Contributor

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    "Penetration".
     
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  21. Historical Science

    Historical Science Contributor Contributor

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    American Football must be your worst nightmare. I swear half the commentary is about holes and penetration. It's like they're doing it on purpose.
     
  22. katina

    katina Banned Contributor

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    BREXIT and CORONA
    I think that is fair.
     
  23. Naomasa298

    Naomasa298 HP: 10/190 Status: Confused Contributor

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    What have you got against Mexican lager?
     
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  24. Naomasa298

    Naomasa298 HP: 10/190 Status: Confused Contributor

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    Being British, I am spared all that talk about two teams of men and deep penetration.
     
  25. Historical Science

    Historical Science Contributor Contributor

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    NFL is getting big over there though, isn't it?
     
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