I've been developing a new world I'd like to use in a story someday. It began as a different world I posted about here a while ago, where magic users fought futuristic robots, but I think this version works a lot better. I'd like to know what you guys think! The world was created by a collaboration of three gods: Ytrael, god of the elements, passion (strong emotions), and ambition, Eshuadar, goddess of nature, softer emotions, and art, and Vollot, god of law, logic, and knowledge. Ytrael builds the world itself, Eshuadar covers it in plants and animals, and Vollot devises what are essentially the laws of physics. Then they work together to create one sentient race each. Ytrael makes the Ytra, Eshuadar makes the Feln, and Vollot makes Man. All of them have the combined essences of the gods, but they each lean more toward their particular god's, meaning that the Ytra are bold and ambitious while the Feln are more laid back, etc. After a while, though, Ytrael and Eshuadar grow bored with what they've made and decide to start "improving" it. They both allow their races access to their power, essentially creating magic. Vollot isn't happy about this because it violates the Laws of Nature he created when the world was made, but according the law he himself wrote, he isn't allowed to interfere with how the other gods choose to rule over their races. He doesn't give Man magic, but instead gives them an appetite for knowledge, which allows them to advance scientifically much faster than the other races. Soon Man has created massive futuristic scifi-ish cities with robots, lasers, all that good stuff. Meanwhile the other races are stuck in a more medieval-ish setting, since magic means they don't need technology to solve their problems. Eventually the humans notice that they're having to work for things that are simply handed to the other races, and ask Vollot why they can't have magic too. Vollot refuses because, as the god of law and logic, he's unwilling to break the laws of physics that he, himself, created. Ytrael and Eshuadar consider Vollot to just be a stubborn stick in the mud and tell the humans that if they come live with their people, they'll share their magic with them. And so the humans abandon Vollot. This is the final straw for Vollot. The other two can do whatever they want with their races, but now they've essentially usurped Vollot and stolen his own race from him. So he closes the gates to his futuristic kingdom and begins building an army of new subjects, ones that will never disobey him: robots. His army marches on the rest of the world, with Vollot leading them. At first it seems like his robots are no match for the other races' magic, but Vollot begins creating new Laws that render magic impossible, leaving them helpless before his 100% magic-free army. Vollot swears that he is going to eliminate all the chaos and disorder the other gods have created, and only then will the world be able to know peace. The others call him the Mad God, but he insists that he's the only one that ISN'T insane. He follows the rules. He doesn't interfere. Ytrael and Eshuadar are the bad guys, not him! Eventually Ytrael and Eshuadar come to face Vollot personally — and he defeats them both. As the god of law, even the other gods can't resist when he uses his full power. He can't kill them, but he manages to trap them both inside small orbs, soon to become known as the Heavenly Pearls (maybe? I dunno). But again, as the god of law, he's beholden to the laws that he creates, and he ends up trapped as well. The Pearls are retrieved, and its discovered that whoever holds them has access to that god's power. Magic is still possible, but it's much weaker now than it was before. Vollot's Pearl gets taken back to his kingdom, and the other two are retrieved as well. The robots discover that whichever one of them possesses Vollot's Pearl, they gain sentience. It also gives them the ability to control the rest of the army. So as centuries go by, Ironlords repeatedly rise to power in Vollot's kingdom and continue to wage war on the rest of the world, but are defeated by the Archmages, the only people strong enough to wield the other two Pearls without the power destroying them. And that's about all I've got. What do you guys think?
Seems like myth/legend to me! Some spitballing: Y god's and E god's differences are nominal at most, given they basically do the same thing. One could be more of an instigator than the other, leading to a forced choice. Advanced tech leads to automation... the humans' ancestors have basically handed everything to them at this point via tech progress (just like in real life). If they have robots and lasers, that means washing machines, modern amenities (plumbing, AC, heating), power tools, cars, planes, GPS, Netflix, robo-servants, etc... The magic users living in horse and castle land are going to need some real nice magic (or otherwise secret sauce) to make the humans jealous of their primitive lifestyle. I would stew on some spicier rationale there. Though, it's just myth. It doesn't necessarily have to 100% make sense anyway, as it's only a backdrop for what really matters: the juicy main story.
It will be about the rise of one of the Ironlords, the ensuing invasion and war, and the journey to find one of the lost Pearls so a new Archmage can take the Ironlord down.
That's fine. I asked for feedback on the lore/history of the world. You want to criticize the plot and characters I haven't even made yet, so you weren't being particularly helpful in the first place.
You asked for help, I tried to give it. I will make a note to myself not to try to help you in the future.
But since you asked, I don't think your history/mythology makes any sense, and I doubt you could turn it into a story worth reading.
Pack it in the pair of you, this is a writing forum not a kindergarten One poster has lost the right to post in this thread for seven days, but it takes two to have an argument and there are no clean hands here
