Like a lot of writers I seem to hear about, I am jaw-droppingly disorganised, terrible at time management, struggle to get into a workable routine, bore easily and am a perfectionist. My life's at a point where it feels like everything's descended upon me - I'm stressing out, finding it hard to juggle all the balls, but I have a horrible feeling that it's all nothing, NOTHING to normal adults these days, let alone published writers (like what I want to be) who have to juggle appointments, talks, marketing, deadlines, etc. as well as everyday life. I have a few small balls in the air - a couple of college projects, organising an activity with my boyfriend, making sure my parents know what funds I need and where I need dropping off and when, sorting out the nasty business of travelling abroad in the near future, and on top of that I have an awkward home situation and disgusting maths to learn. When I write it, it sounds a lot, but it's all going relatively well, I just can't quite keep on top of it comfortably, and I am utterly convinced that other people could. And that I really won't be able to cope if I become a published writer. I know that I would love every minute of it to bits - everything from correspondence to travelling to marketing. But I'm scared everything else would fall apart. In short, I have utter faith in my writing - it's just my lack of any other relevant skill which could prove my undoing. Have any of you felt this way? Is someone else out there totally overwhelmed by 'the real world' sometimes too? Do grown ups worry about not being able to cope with another thing on the to do list? Excuse me, I need a hot chocolate...
Have no fear, or better said, move over on the sofa that I might come and join in on the commiseration. I am in the same boat. Work, life, my hubby, the myriad little things that alone seem like nothing and added together take more time than the day affords sap me of my will or time to write. I have at least three "major projects" sitting in my computer waiting for my attention. It comes to the point some times where I hold back on conversations with others about writing because I think to myself, "Writer? Who are you kidding Wrey? You're no more a writer than you are an astronaut."
I had my first novel accepted a few months back and wrote a second one. Still waiting on feedback from responses and STILL fight with myself and struggle every day. So I'm afraid that even after becoming published, I still have the same problems. That feeling just never goes away. And to top it off, I have writer's block. So I worry about "staying" a writer.
^Yes, I sure they do. I'm sure they worry and stress about things just as much as late-teenagers do. But take it one step at a time. Prioritize your needs, focus on the most immediate one, and take care of it. Then move on to the next. Baby steps, my dear
Yes, I am also in Wrey's boat that I frequently ignore my current story, because I have bouts of diminishing confidence in my writing, and self esteem, and general outlook of the course of societal development. However since it is the only thing I actually have that comes close to a physical accomplishment, I keep at it.
Hot chocolate? Can I have one, too? The answer to every question you just threw out there, is simply, yes. We all struggle with day-to-day management, and on the bigger scale of things, we too struggle with writing, keeping the house clean, the college projects, everything. Some are better at managing it than others. That's awesome for them. The rest of us? We throw everything in nine-billion different directions and figure it out from there. Like most of the people who've posted in here, I, too, am staring down the barrel of insane things in life, from my college courses that are starting in a week (and believe me, I'm not looking forward to them) to the two major book projects I've meddled with for years, my driver's test, work, and more. It's a nightmare. It's a headache; the world wants us to be these superhuman people that are immune to colds and diseases, can handle the workload of five people, and still have time to ask their children how their day was. You have to remember; you're only human. So take it one step at a time, breathe, and remember that each small step brings you closer to the finishing of the giant picture. No one creates a masterpiece in one night, but writing a little portion every so often will eventually bring you to that grand finale moment of, "Oh my God! I FINISHED IT!"
*hands little cookies to go with hot chocolates* Thanks everyone At a time when I do have friends, colleagues, and (thank God!) a terrifically patient boyfriend, my focus is mostly on writing at the moment, and to have some comforting words from fellow writers is definitely the best medicine!
The key is to write so well that your book sells millions of copies. Then your agent and various assistants handle it all for you. Just do that and you'll be golden.
Another great thing abut life is its okey to fail at stuff. Everybody fails a lot of times during their lifetimes. Talk to enyone over 25 and they will have a lot of failures and most times when they tell you about it they will still be smiling. Post peoples fail some during their studies and work as well, they might scape they knees, it hurts but they get up again. It's okay. Its a part of life. Dropping a few balls just means you dropped a few balls. You can pick them up again, or leave them there. It wont be the end of the world, or you life. Not now, and not in the future.
correction: that's only like a lot of beginning writers and some who haven't been successfully/successively published yet... the pros who make a living at it learned to manage their time and keep to a workable routine... they never get bored and can settle for 'good enough' if that means their work is sold to, read and enjoyed by total strangers... what do you mean by 'accepted'?... do you have a contract?... has it been published yet?... do you have a release date?... who's the publisher? and what does 'feedback from responses' mean?...
Being awake and out of bed is almost more than I can cope with half the time, so don't worry. I have far less going on in my life than you do and I still feel ridiculously overwhelmed by all of it. I own a business, but for most of this year I've had to pay someone else to run it because I just can't. I desperately want to pull my daughter out of Girl Guides because I stress out just having to drive her there and pick her up once a week. It's a five minute drive. I have friends who live twenty minutes from here, but not only can I not manage to visit them, I can't even pick up the phone. My social life is down to one person these days. I literally can not let my kids get a pet, not even a goldfish. The pressure is too much. I'm quite pathetic, really Granted, much of my problem is the stupid bipolar disorder, but even before I had that to deal with I wasn't much good at organising my life. At school I always did my assignments the morning they were due, I studied for exams in the class directly before them, never told my mother I needed something for school until I was actually leaving for school. How I managed straight A's I'll never know. I'm constantly asking my husband and best friend if they really just feel like kids pretending to be adults, and they always say yes. For organised people it may be different, but I'm just blundering along, playing house and wondering when the real grown ups are going to walk in and wipe my bottom for me and tuck me into bed.
Having personal daily goals, and seeing them accomplished will make you feel more organized and less overwhelmed. I write full-time from home after leaving a 20 year career in banking. I have cut out a lot of stress since I no longer work outside of the home, but there are different challenges now—finances (lack thereof), isolation, and the feeling of "Will I ever succeed at this new career?" I try to stick to the standards I had when I worked in the marketplace. Setting deadlines and adhering to them is key. You know what you are capable of , and it's good to set a goal that is slightly above your comfort zone, so you can push yourself more each day. My goal is visible in my calendar—I must write 1500 words daily on my WIP. This is not always possible, but without it, I would not have a direction. The more accomplished you feel by the end of the day; the less overwhelmed you are likely to feel.
