Uh... Um...!*clears throat... Let's see. from the King of Worst openers. As I sat there, upon my chair starting at the flatscreen, watching a youtube video about an infamouse figure of internet history, trying to figure out what to write for a constest of the worst openers. From here I will being to tell you the benign story of my life.
Arran bV'nith stood on the edge of the cliff, the storm winds whipping spray from the sea below into his long white hair, and his life, from a humble birth as a slave-child, to his rise to High Priest of the most powerful religion in the Realm, flashed before his eyes. Somewhat from memory, but that was the actual opener to my contribution to a shared world collection that me and some of the other geeks were threatening to work on in high school. They liked it.
Belladonna stared gloomily in the mirror at her flowing auburn locks, her emerald green eyes, and her hourglass figure with the pert boobs and wailed, "I'm hideous! No boy will ever love me!"
Every time I ready this thread title while scanning I think of "Throw Momma From the Train" ..... The night was moist.....
It was on a windy autumn day that the Smith family got the most terrible news concerning a midget emu that had brought diseases to the fowl of the county, bad news for the Smiths as they enjoyed to watch the ducks frolicking all day long upon the pond, for around and around and around they swam, all in circles, left and right, right to left, just swimming along as such birds were wont to do.
He watched as they swarmed out in all directions, fleeing the death ray bringing much death to the beings below. He laughed and laughed as he moved the magnifying glass around the anthill. Then was zapped by the aliens death ray from above. The aliens laughed and laughed as they zapped the humans fleeing the death ray from above.
Amazingly, dear reader, he android was obediently employing its mouth to talk, its legs to walk and its hands to hold things just as it had been designed to do.