How about "somebody told me that you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend who I had in February of last year."
Nah, man. You ain't heard shizzle until you've listened to bad Puerto Rican pop music. Just the worst, man. Yolandita Monge (who is like 900 years old) trying to put out Spanish version of Taylor Swift songs and all the young dudes still (yes, still) do the fish-eye lens, look into the camera, pointing stupidly with douche-bro fingers at the ready.
She's been giving the exact same advice to every contestant of The Voice. "Start soft and tender and then hit them with a punch toward the middle. Make it like a present you're holding back from us." I swear I've heard her say some variation of that line to every single person.
Works for her, not for everyone. Unless we want hundreds of Taylor Swift copycats. We don't want hundreds of Taylor Swift copycats.
There are some really bad ones and some really strange ones that come to mind. The obvious "bad" one though would be 50 Cent's "I love you like a fat kid loves cake"
Batman. Batman. Batman. Batman. Batman, Batman, Batman. Dadadada dadadada dadadada dadadada dadadah, Batman! - from some TV show in the 60s.
Movin' to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches Movin' to the country, Gonna eat me a lot of peaches Movin' to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches Movin' to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches Peaches come from a can, they were put there by a man In a factory downtown If I had my little way, I'd eat peaches every day Sun-soakin' bulges in the shade Take a little nap where the roots all twist Squished a rotten peach in my fist And dreamed about you, woman, I poked my finger down inside Make a little room for an ant to hide Nature's candy in my hand or can or a pie Millions of peaches, peaches for me Millions of peaches, peaches for free Look out! By: The Presidents of the United States of America (1996) THE WORST SONG IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've always hated this stupid song!
Red Solo Cup -- not sure if it is quite "worst" song lyrics material, but if we were talking about guilty pleasure songs, then this song would be the guiltiest pleasure of them all. (i.e. it brings a huge, stupid smile to my face every time) "Cause you are the Abbott to my Costello And you are the Fruit to my Loom" (addressed to the singer's lifelong friend -- you guessed it, his red solo cup)
But really, if your company makes underwear, and you call it Fruit of the Loom, you really are asking to be lampooned up and down and right and left. There's no getting around it.
I know Buddy Holly is considered a god of early rock and roll, but damn, these are the shallowest lyrics I've ever heard: If you knew Peggy Sue Then youd know why I feel blue Without Peggy, my Peggy Sue Oh well, I love you gal, yes, I love you Peggy Sue Peggy Sue, Peggy Sue Oh how my heart yearns for you Oh Peggy, my Peggy Sue Oh well, I love you gal, yes, I love you Peggy Sue Peggy Sue, Peggy Sue Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty Peggy Sue Oh Peggy, my Peggy Sue Oh well, I love you gal and I need you Peggy Sue I love you Peggy Sue With a love so rare and true Oh Peggy, my Peggy Sue Well I love you gal, I want you Peggy Sue Peggy Sue, Peggy Sue Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty Peggy Sue Oh Peggy, my Peggy Sue Oh well, I love you gal and I need you Peggy Sue I love you Peggy Sue With a love so rare and true Oh Peggy, my Peggy Sue Well I love you gal, I want you Peggy Sue Oh well, I love you gal and I want you Peggy Sue
I did some research. Ricky Martin - She Bangs Like every girl in history She bangs, she bangs Madonna - I Love New York I don`t like cities, but I like New York Other places make me feel like a dork Peter Gabriel - Shock The Monkey Shock Watch the monkey get hurt Monkey Sade - Smooth Operator Coast to coast L.A. to Chicago Bob Dylan - Visions of Johanna See the primitive wallflower frieze When the jelly-faced women all sneeze Hear the one with the mustache say, "Jeeze I can't find my knees" Fleetwood Mac - Family Man I am what I am... A family man I am what I am... A family man Mother... father... brother... Mother... father... brother... Jimmy Buffett - Cheeseburger In Paradise Cheeseburger in paradise Medium rare with mustard be nice Heaven on earth with an onion slice I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise I like mine with lettuce and tomato Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer Well good god almighty which way do i steer for my Cheeseburger in paradise Makin' the best of every virtue and vice Worth every damn bit of sacrifice To get a cheeseburger in paradise
To be fair, he was IIRC like 18-19 when he wrote most of his songs so it's not that surprising they are pretty shallow.
I wish I could contribute, but all that comes to mind is a piece of lyric I heard recently that really blew my socks off. It's been taking up so much space in my noggin that I can think of sod all else. It's like a needle stuck on a long player. Something of a rarity. Bad lyrics are a dime a dozen. And that's why most of the music I listen to is instrumental. I hate hearing a great hook, or groove, spoiled by a crappy lyric.
As much as I like this song, I have always considered those lines to be probably the bizarrest things Bob Dylan has ever sung. Hard as I try to appreciate them in context, they are just jarring when I am trying to sense a cohesive main theme of the song.
I heard a hip-hop song years ago that had the most depressing song lyrics I've ever heard...lyrics such as "I feel like dying," and "Roses are red and violets are dead!" Man! That wasn't a song I liked.
He also goes on to sing (among other things) 'The ghost electricity howls in the bones of her face, and these visions of Johanna have now taken my place' which admittedly, I have no idea what he means and yet, I do. Dylan would be the first to admit that he doesn't always know just what he means in his lyrics and that they just come to him but then, that's the beauty of it, isn't it?
