I'm writing in the POV of a mentally disabled person. She has "DID" and believes someone else is talking to her. well, I'm currently in a scene where she is having a debate with herself after all. Well, I'm writing her dialogue this way. Main Person speaking and the other voice 'Like this' so I can identify them. can anyone tell me other ways that I could write that sequence without hurting the dialogue?
People with DID are known to experience auditory hallucinations. Schizophrenics hear the voices as external -- DID's hear them internally. This may be a helpful resource: DISSOCIATIVE DISORDERS IN DSM-5 Edit: You'll probably catch some flak for using bold or italics. If it's clear who is speaking first and the voices are discrete enough, you could get away with not even having dialogue tags. Think what Cormac McCarthy does.
I was doing some reasearch on this topic, and some people with DID hear the voices inside their heads. she does have a slight case of schizophrenia but it's not discovered until later in the story. I'm trying to see if ya'll knew another way to writing the dialogue
Hmmm, tricky one. And increasingly so if you introduce additional identities and then flip between spoken words and inner thoughts. Blimey. Italics seem fairly established with the internal monologue of the sane, so I think it'd be confusing to go down that avenue. Also, I'm reading it as you want to sound one external identity off against an internal identity? If that's the case I'd personally opt for regular text for the the former and bold for the latter. Reason for doing so is the internal voices likely want their 'air time' so would wrestle with the core character to for prominence. Most important (we'd say) is that you're consistent with what you frame out. "Stay there Jamesy, people are watching us...shhh." "No, I want to come out, you can't keep me here, let me out!"
“What! What are you going to do? Cheat on me? Hit me? Bring it on!” ‘Shut up Luna, Let me’ NO! Don't hurt him. ‘I'm not going to hurt him stupid. I love him.’ Then what? ‘You’ll see. He won’t be hurting us anymore’ This is part of the dialogue I'm working on.
she is currently engaged in dialogue with another character but in her mind she hears the voice. she's the "weak" bold text and the italic is the other "dominant". they're talking about the MC
Is any of that conversation heard by the other character? Or is it all internal wrangling? Owing to my conditioning: regular text = regular speech, bold text = strong speech, and italics for thought. It'd take bit of getting used to for me. If it's all internalised you've got a fair bit of potential confusion to avoid in keeping things separate from the additional real-world conversation. For a self-pub you could do your own thing and add the dimension of a font change as an extra indicator (usually frowned on but yours, I'm sure, is a special case). Just trying this out loud: "What! What are you going to do? Cheat on me? Hit me? Bring it on." "Shut up Luna, Let me—" "NO! Don't hurt him." "I'm not going to hurt him stupid. I love him." "Then what?" "You’ll see. He won’t be hurting us anymore." "You okay there?" the other character inquired. "Sure, just got something in...err, I mean on my mind," said the MC. ---------- Any clearer? ^ If you're aiming for trad. publishing, I think that might be a bit of a sell!
Yeah, while she's "discussing" what she'll do. The MC is engaged in conversation with the actual Luna* so all of that chatter is in her mind. But you have a solid point there. The way you made it it's more clearer than how I have it typed
Yeah. She's talking to a voice in her head. I mean I'm trying to make it sound like two different people. One dominant and the other one is weaker and scared. Which is the actual though of Luna. She's a sweet kid until the voice steps in and takes over. Making her act differently and do stuff.
I would go with regular font and italics. Bold-face, to me, would indicate an emphasis that you may not intend. My two cents, spend 'em as you will.
No one's mentioned dialogue tags yet. Can you use those? If you make it clear that these conversations are happening in her head, then quotes and dialogue tags should work just fine, especially if the other personality is named. Unless that would hurt the flow you're going for?
Vianca, Without ruining the book for you, I suggest you read Alessandra Torre's, Black Lies. It is an Erotic Novel -assuming you are okay with reading such material- but considering your question, I think you will enjoy the book greatly.
No, the voice has a name, a very dominant personality and very mischievous mind. Now (I'm sorry if I sound ignorant, but what are dialogue tags?)
All I will say is that it deals with the subject you are interested in, in a very twist-full manner. (Hence why I am recommending it).
Dialogue tags are the things at the end of dialogue that identify who is saying something with the word "said". Typically, anyway. You can use other words but some people get all huffy about it. Words other than "said" are best used in moderation I suppose. Basically just take the format that SethLoki proposed but removed the bold and italics and include "said Luna" or whomever is speaking at that point.
Oh okay. I get it now. I'll take this into consideration, although the voice's name, doesn't come until much later. because Luna herself doesn't even know she has this problem.
Actually yes. I am doing some editing on a chapter so i can post it. It's scares me though. I'm not a very experienced writer. So I have my nerves on edge haha
