1. Magus

    Magus Banned

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    Write to music - Prompt!

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Magus, Jan 2, 2019.

    I like writing to music, especially flash fiction. The track below is the prompt, any writing style, any length, have at it!



    The clock struck noon with a clang. Evan looked up, sweat streaming down from his hairline and into the jumbled mess of his thick brown eyebrows.

    "I don't have time! Please, God above, if you exist...help me"

    Evan clenched his jaw and began pushing at the obstruction. He needed it gone to move any further, but it had been wedged tightly in the small tunnel that led to the outside.

    "Why! Won't! You! Move!" He screamed, slaming his fists against the wall.

    He took a deep breath and prayed once more, vowing eternal loyalty to God above if he made it through this alive. One....Two.....PUUUUUUUUSHHH!

    *Kerplunk*

    He looked down between his legs at the mass of matter that had been obstructing his bowels* for a day and a half, and breathed a sigh of relief. Then a tidal wave that had been held at bay by the massive boulder poured out, sending him into frenzy. He clutched the toilet beneath him and tried as best he could to stabilize himself as hell itself unleashed below him. Looking down once more, still fearful another wave would unleash from him, he saw the destruction the tsunami has left in its wake. The toilet was unrecognizable from the pristine white he had known it to be, and the hot stench of death convected* upwards,encircling the small bathroom of the convenience store. He had to get outta here, and fast. Knowing the size of the demon below, and the waves of hot brown liquid that now filled the bowl almost to the brim, would not easily flush, if flush it would at all. As soon as he flicked that switch, it was go time, no longer his problem but some poor min wage workers lunch time overtime.

    He reached for the sub par one ply toilet paper that always plagued him in public restrooms, but this time he would of taken it gladly over what he found.

    "What the..."

    His eyes glanced over to see the empty roll of toilet paper, visible through the semi translucent plastic dispenser.

    "No.....no!....NOOOOOOO!"
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2019
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  2. SethLoki

    SethLoki Retired Autodidact Contributor

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    Ahh, I get it. Flush Fiction, mesuspects you're inspiration music to have been, well firstly Bee Gees' 'Agony' followed closely by Cash's 'Ring of Fire'.

    Full stop after first line of speech, speech marks about the 1,2 push part.

    The err, heavier onomatopoeic 'Kerplunk' maybe in place of word plop. Yeah, plop's too dainty for such an endeavour.

    Bowls be 'Bowels', maybe radiated be 'convected'.
     
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  3. Magus

    Magus Banned

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    *A folded letter, stained with coffee, sits on the desk*

    The nights here are my favorite thing about this tasking; that and the paycheck. Umbrella's found itself some prime real estate, smack dab in the center of the arklay forest; It's peaceful at night, but loneliness does take its toll.

    Say what you want about Umbrella, but they pay damn well for security. I guess part of the pay is compensation for the isolation. I'm worth a pretty penny don't get me wrong, but I can't help but be flattered by what they're paying me. On top of it all they've set me up in my own master bedroom, they have so many vacant rooms, I guess it wasn't that big of a deal given the size of this mansion. Not that I get to use it much anyhow, I'm usually bunked up in the guard house with Doug, but when we do get an occasional day off, it is nice to enjoy some privacy. I'll tell you all about Doug when I get back, he's a real character. We share a lot in common, and by that I mean we share the only thing that matters in common. That's right, he was an Army grunt like myself, say no more, I know.

    I don't know why I'm writing you, I know if I try and send this letter, the odds of it finding you would be nil. It feels nice talking to someone other then Doug every once and a while though, and I guess I'm missing you is all. It kind of feels like we're talking when I write you, albeit a one sided conversation, but hell I've earned that after all the times I've listened to you drone on about your friends and their soap opera lives. Good thing you'll never read this, or that would of earned me a kick in the ass.

    I just have to remember why I'm here. When I'm done with this gig we'll be set for a hot while; no more jobs taking me away from you for months at a time.Home is waiting. You're waiting. I'm coming to see you in my dreams, goodnight love.


    * A small piece of paper was hidden underneath the letter*


    I came by during my patrol, guess I missed you.

    The entry code for the munitions locker changed Monday, the higher ups deem it necessary to add more useless protocols for 'security'. From here on out all entry codes will be changed weekly! The fun is just beginning comrade!

    I'll see you tomorrow pal, enjoy the rest of your time off.

    Doug

    New code: 9871
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2019
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  4. Radrook

    Radrook Banned Contributor

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    Thanks for sharing this very entertaining story. The music was just right since its suspensful repetition added dramatic tension. That reference to small tunnel leading to the outside was pure genius! Had me visualizing something entirely different. The two prayers for the Creator's merciful assistance helped convince me that this person was in some deep shit! [No pun intended.]

    How would he get rid of the obstacle, whatever it might be? How would the poor soul escape that terribe suffocating narrow tunnel? What hideous monstrosity from the bowels [Pun intended.] of some mythical hell was it that was pursuing him? Then suddenly ,the real nature of the condundrum is revealed. A real masterpiece!


    Some minor tweaks

    Since the sentence is referring to the turd and the diarea that wouldn't easily flush, or go down the drain, then the pronoun is the plural "they".
    ....if flush it would....
    .... if flush it they would....
    --------------------------------
    ....min wage workers....
    ....min [-] wage worker's....
    -------------
    ....sub par one ply toilet paper ....
    ....sub-par, one-ply toilet paper....
    -----------------------------

    Addendum

    Please note that I experienced someting similar at a train-station restroom and had to quickly drag myseof over to the ladies room to seek toilet paper. Lucky there were no ladies easing nature there at that moment. When I later complained to the person selling train tickets at the train station lobby, the young little imp just laughed within the safety of his cubicle
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2019
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