Writing a battle/death scene

So I'm writing a Star Wars fic and the battle takes place in the streets. The rebels have barricaded the streets around the capitol square and are protected by a shield, so the only way to attack is to bring troops into the shield. So the Empire is trying to breach the barricade. There's been one attack so far, in which stormtroopers attempted to reach the barricade, but ran when someone in a top story window started firing a disruptor rifle. (If you've seen the Mandalorian, you'll recognize it-- it's the weapon that disintegrates people when it hits them. It's a very illegal weapon and the leader of this rebel cell is very insistent that they not commit war crimes, so he kicks the culprit off the planet. So from here on out, they won't have the scare factor of the disruptor.)

So now it's the second attack and the troopers are attempting to set up a tripod cannon to pierce the barricade. I have two characters and I need to give them something heroic to do to send the stormtroopers running again. In the process, one of them will die and there will be a tragic moment after the troopers are gone where she dies in the other character's arms.

 

So you want something heroic that will get one of your characters killed?

Off the top of my head, why not have "idiot" run out from behind cover, drawing the storm troopers fire and leaving them open to a counter attack by the "brainy one" who launches a grenade from behind cover that eliminates all the storm troopers - at least making them helpless for a while - and while "idiot" is bleeding to death, "brainy" finishes off the surviving storm troopers then rends first aid to "idiot" who unfortunately dies?

And, no offence but in war, the objective is to survive. If the storm troopers are shooting at you or taking your things, whatever you have to do, including using a disruptor weapon is FAIR. From what I remember about the star wars universe the rebels are usually outnumbered by a really large number of storm troopers - 100 to 1? If the empire can have superior numbers on its side, then the rebels can have "illegal" weapons.

 

Yeah, except the Rebels have principles. That’s why they don’t associate with Saw Gerrera, who uses terroristic methods. So yeah, what you’re saying might make pragmatic sense, but not all the rebels would agree.

As for your idea, I’ll definitely take it into consideration, but neither of my characters really falls into the “idiot” category. I mean, one of them is definitely headstrong and has more book-smarts than common sense, but he’s not the one I need to die.

 

Maybe have a close combat scene where some of the stormtroopers get in close and the two characters have to fight them together, close quarters. I'm not sure how many stormtroopers they'll be up against, but it might be cool to have a close combat fight and you could get one killed like that. Or have a self-sacrifice, but t take away from the cliche bit of that, make it accidental. Like a thermal detonator malfunctions or a rocket and the one character dies mistakenly. I don't know, you decide.

 

Hm. It still seems a little contrived in my head. I can't really visualize them getting into a situation like that from the way they're currently fighting.

 

Let's add a third element here and I think the suggestions made so far would make more sense. Maybe the storm troopers shoot down a rebel transport ship or an X wing. The heroes rescue the pilots or passengers (maybe a lot of them). The more people the more heroic? One of the heroes dies. The heroes exchange a heartfelt goodbye, illuding to a back story that they were twins / related or best buddies since the academy days or even childhood. Something the rebel leaders can use a means to motivate their comrades.

If you don't want to use ships then maybe some children run out in panic and are saved. One of them demonstrating as yet unnoticed Jedi traits. Maybe use a combination of both?

 

@rktho - I gave them the names "idiot" and "brainy" to tell them apart. I consider doing something "heroic" that results in your death to be idiotic for a professional soldier.

To me, a soldier is someone who fights an enemy with EVERYTHING he or she has. Land mines, grenades, disruptor rifles, etc.

Think of our own history of warfare. Chemical weapons were employed in world war one, flamethrowers in world war two, land mines at some point.....all of these weapons can be characterized as weapons of terror. But from the perspective of a soldier who is following orders, that particular soldier wants a weapon that will do two things - kill his enemy and protect him from being killed in turn.

EDIT: BTW, the solider with the flamethrower is a perfect example of an idiot. Who exactly goes into a war zone with a tank of liquid gasoline on their back while wielding a flamethrower??? They are going to be the number one priority target of every enemy soldier on the battlefield as humans usually have a very strong fear of burning to death. And...when the bullets hit, that flamethrower guy is going to go up in a burst of flame.


I don't really remember much about Saw G, what exactly was his terroristic approach to the empire? Did he strap suicide vests on pregnant women/children and have them attack the storm troopers? Think "American Sniper" where the mom and the boy are walking towards the American soldiers with a grenade and the sniper kills them. Was the Taliban morally right to attack the soldiers with these two people? Did he employ bombs that had the side effect of collateral damage to civilians from collapsing buildings or radiation leaks that occurred when an empire installation was bombed?

When you have superior numbers/firepower/technology/etc, its easy to decide what the "rules" of warfare are. When you're the oppressed population....you don't always have that luxury. You have to defend yourselves however you can, with whatever resources you have.

Anyways....

One other thought I had, the storm troopers are conscripts or cloned....which is it....??? What if the weapons that each storm trooper has are somehow encoded to that particular storm trooper such as through DNA or their equipment (gloves) so that they are the only people that can fire/activate that weapon? What if one of the rebels loses his own weapon (or runs out of bullets/energy) and picks up a storm trooper's weapon to use and the weapon explodes in his hands and kills him? He dies heroically (and not idiotically assuming he didn't know about the safety feature of the weapon) and it inspires his comrades to fight on harder and beat back the storm troopers in order to recover his body and evacuate to safety?

 

The storm troopers fire 100,000 shots. They miss. The rebels advance. The female character falls down a plot hole. She dies.

 

Got it, the Empire sucks at mini-putt.

The Rebels leave behind a small detachment to keep the Troopers distracted, while the bulk of the Rebels
retreat, and then flank the Troopers. Somewhere in the second assault somebody gets shot and doesn't
make it.

That would give you a reasonable and heroic death that doesn't feel forced or made up out of thin air.
Could even have them dragging a wounded comrade to safety when they take the killing blow.

 

Just so long as there isn't a scary and unnerving cgi princess Leia spouting a message at the end of it like an automaton. hehe

 

New Star Wars, with more added Ewoks.

 

I should mention that neither of these characters are soldiers; this is an uprising compromised of civilians, with assistance from a few of Saw Gerrera’s Partisans, Enfys Nest and her Cloud Rider gang, two Rebel Alliance cruisers in orbit, and a clan of Mandalorians. The two characters in the scene have never been in a battle before.

I suppose I should have provided a little more information about the characters themselves and their history. Apollon is an Imperial university student whose classmates have been planning to stage an uprising for months now. He’s best friends with a Weequay named Portia, who lived next door in the same cheap apartment. Portia’s family wasn’t always poor, but her dad gambled away everything they had, so they moved. Portia has feelings for Apollon, but not only doesn’t he notice, he’s crushing hard on a stranger he sees in the park. When a philanthropist and his daughter come to visit, Apollon recognizes the girl as the one he’s fallen for. Meanwhile, Portia’s family recognizes the philanthropist as the one they blame for their current situation— they had a Twi’lek girl in their custody, but a stranger adopted her for a large sum of money they promptly wasted. When they leave, Apollon asks Portia to help set him up, and she agrees. But Apollon overhears Portia’s father talking about how the philanthropist is definitely the same guy who stole their girl, so Apollon calls the cops. But when he goes into his apartment to spy on them and give the signal for the police to storm in, he overhears more and realizes he was mistaken and it’s Portia’s parents who should be arrested. They discover him listening in and bring him in the room, but before they can do anything to him the philanthropist escapes and the cops burst in and arrest everyone. Apollon leaves and finds Portia, who wasn’t there, and she leads him to the girl’s house, where he learns her name is Leela. He asks Leela out and she goes on a date with him. Portia’s jealousy gets the better of her and she goes to tell Leela to back off, but Leela ends up befriending her instead and her father offers to take Portia in now that she has nowhere to stay. Then Leela’s father finds out Apollon is a rebel and forbids them to see each other. Late at night, Portia’s dad and a handful of accomplices try to rob the place where she’s staying, but they fend them off. However, Leela’s father, who’s in hiding from the authorities, worried the incident will attract attention and decides to move. Portia chooses to stay behind. Leela sneaks off while her father thinks she’s packing and follows Portia to the barricades where the uprising is about to begin. The shield goes up and the fighting begins. Troopers on the east side enter the shield radius and attempt to storm the barricade, but are scared off by a sniper with a pulse rifle. The leader of the uprising, who doesn’t want war crimes tarnishing the legitimacy of this uprising, sees to it the sniper is kicked out. Meanwhile Leela leaves Apollon and Portia to avoid her father, who’s come looking for her. The stormtroopers attack again and Apollon and Portia play key roles in driving them back, but Portia is wounded and dies in Apollon’s arms.

 

So if they're not experienced, then an accident might be pretty reasonable. How is the battle set up?

 

So there’s a mile-wide shield, so ships can’t bombard the insurrectionists. The streets are all blocked in by crates, tables, dumpsters, random big things stacked to form barricades. At any given point there’s fifty or so feet between the barricade and shield’s edge, which the stormtroopers must enter to engaged or be engaged. The rebels are shooting from behind the barricade, either through the cracks or over the rim. The upper floors of buildings nearby also provide good vantage points. The stormtroopers are trying to break through to deactivate the shield. The rebels are trying to stop them from getting through or over their defenses.

 

Could part of the barricade fall over and could Portia fall out into the line of fire and get shot? Maybe after the stormtroopers lose the bulk of their numbers one brave, heor type runs up and blows up part of the barrier, knocking a portion of it down, with Portia too. That way, the stormtroopers who have already initiated retreat are fleeing from the rebels, and Portia is wounded and dies. What do you think?

 

I love that idea!

 

Hm. I thought I had something figured out, but I still don't.

So the way I have it set up right now is that the troopers have set up an E-Web, a tripod-mounted blaster that shoots rapid volleys. They're protected by the cannon's personal shield and by the other troopers. The other troopers don't have much cover, so they would be easily dispatched in theory if it weren't for their numbers. The cannon isn't at full power yet as it takes ten minutes to fully charge, but while it's charging it can deliver lower-intensity blasts. The way to take it out is to destroy the power pack, but you have to get within the range of the gun's shield, which is only a few feet within the actual weapon. The gunners are unarmed, but there's still the wall of troopers and the cannon itself to worry about. So, I'm having a little trouble justifying Apollon rushing in to take out the cannon and not emerging unscathed. I also want Portia to save his life somehow and die in the process, but with her behind him, it's not like she can take a blaster bolt for him.

 

How about doing that thing they did in Serenity with Wash, when they all think they're safe and then he just dies with a giant spike in the chest.

 

Well, what about some type of weapon like a mortar or a rocket launcher that shoots pass Apollon and hits Portia - either directly or a wall nearby which explodes and hits her with debris? It doesn't have to be an aimed shot, a storm trooper seeing his first combat could panic and trigger the weapon accidentally?

 

I feel like that might kill her too quickly for last words.

 

What are the last words gonna be?

 

She’s going to say it doesn’t hurt (a lie) and crack a joke about having to get shot for Apollon to hold her like that, wave it aside when he asks what that means. She’ll say he can have his jacket back (he gave it to her) and he’ll refuse, still insisting she’s going to live, so she’ll ask him to at least take something to remember her by and he’ll agree to get her to stop talking about it. Then she’ll ask him to look after her little brother and to return a necklace Leela gave her. The last thing she says will be a confession of her feelings for him.

 

Does it have to be in his arms? I'm guessing so, but it's possible the confession could come before combat. For example, Portia could tell Apollonabout her love for him before they go to fight the stormtroopers. But that also might be weird if she starts talking about the jacket and brother and stuff. This might work a little bit, but i don't know. You decide.

 

It’s not the kind of confession she’d give if there was a chance she’d live. In fact, it’s more for her own sake than his she’d say it to him, so she might not even say it in Basic so it goes over his head. (Or at least, that’s what she’d intend, but he’d figure it out.)