I'm writing a novel, that is essentially about a world that does not live in black and white terms, but is always in the "gray area" (morality-wise) My main character is the typical anti-hero, you could say. She has a real problem with living in the gray area, and would prefer to be all "good", or all "bad". Since I'm working with a word count I've never done before (must be 65,000 words), I'm finding it a bit difficult to build up characterization. I'm afraid that she'll fall flat, or that I'll be unable to show her gradual changes. By 10,000 words, her dislike of "gray area" has been acknowledged, and to the reader's knowledge, she has chosen to be all evil. Upon meeting a man, at the 15,000 word mark, she teeters on the edge of evil/good, based on this man's influence. But, by the 20,000 word mark, she has returned to her evil ways. She will probably stay that way until 45,000 words, where she experiences her "life-changing" event. I hope I don't sound crazy, and maybe you guys don't have an answer for me, but how do I stop myself from making a contrived "suddenly, I'm good!" character. I really want to show the anguish.