1. Kevin Teichman

    Kevin Teichman Active Member

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    Writing about a failed relationship

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Kevin Teichman, Sep 21, 2019.

    Are things like this healthy to write about?

    Back in the summer, I met a woman who I believed was the woman of my dreams. After about two weeks time, she said she was going to meet someone out of town she had been talking to and that we could be friends instead.

    Would this period of time be worth writing about? I believe moving on is important, but I think this could be something that when I’m oldef I look back on one day and laugh at or enjoy.

    So worth it or absolutely not?
     
  2. big soft moose

    big soft moose The Moderating Moose Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    worth using as souce material for writing one day - absolutely

    worth writing about now - probably not, you're too close to it and when you're older you'll look back at it and cringe
     
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  3. The Dapper Hooligan

    The Dapper Hooligan (V) ( ;,,;) (v) Contributor

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    From a writers perspective: yes, learning to put plausible emotions on page is definitley a worthwhile endeavor. From a personal perspective: that really depends on you and how you deal with things. I personally find that going out and getting some attention from elsewhere to be a better way of moving on, but writing about it's probably healthier.
     
  4. EFMingo

    EFMingo A Nefarious Flamingo Contributor

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    I don't know, but I'm pretty sure Moose is right that it's too soon. You'll probably look back at the event comically later. And you're writing of the event will probably be better then, and less influenced by the emotions currently.
     
  5. JLT

    JLT Contributor Contributor

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    Agree with the first sentence, but not the second.

    My advice is to write it all down NOW, while it's still fresh. Write it before you think about it and have time to re-formulate it as a memory you'd like to have, rather than the memory you have now. Don't analyze it, just describe it as well as you can. You'll find it's more real if it's raw.

    But -- and here's the thing -- don't write it for publication, write it for yourself. As the Moose said, it's probably not a piece of writing you'll look back on with pride. Maybe later, with a little more perspective, it can be something you can transmute into something more publishable. But don't use this as an excuse for letting the present moment slip away. Once it's gone, it's gone, and you'll never get it back. Trust me on this.
     
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  6. Babo

    Babo New Member

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    I think so. Everything is worth writing about. I tend to agree with JLT's advice, particularly the part about writing it for yourself. If you do look back on it and cringe, as Moose suggested (which is a very real possibility), then let that be a part of the experience, too :)
     
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  7. RMBROWN

    RMBROWN Member

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    Most writers lack a real feel for the intensity of any moment. There is something about a first kiss, the first fight and the first time you feel your heart break. I say capture the moment, while your heart still hurts. It will be honest, one of the things that seems to be missing most. when reading others stories. Throw the PC shit out the window, and write from the heart.
     
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  8. RobinLC

    RobinLC Active Member

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    If you have the idea to write about it, I say yes. It may not be great writing that you'll ever use in a book, but it may be therapeutic to get your feelings out on paper. You may look back one day and realize something you don't know now. Like way the relationship failed.
     
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  9. Mary Elise

    Mary Elise Member

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    Almost 50 year old lady here so I have a little experience in this arena.

    I have written about failed relationships (romantic and otherwise) at different stages of my life. I have back ups of stuff I wrote back in 1995 and recently reviewed a bit of it.

    Your perspective will change and how you feel about it will change as you move on.

    When I had to flee my first husband I utterly loathed him. Now, 26 years later I don't actively hate him. I feel sorry for him. I wish he'd chosen to live his life differently and I really wish he'd take more interest in his daughter. She reached out to him when she was pregnant with her first and he showed no interest at all.

    Whether or not publishing those writings is a good idea is probably a personal decision. I found that committing my thoughts to paper (or whatever) helped me deal at the time and it's interesting to look at it a quarter century later and recall how that felt at that time.
     
  10. JLT

    JLT Contributor Contributor

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    Never thought of it that way. Do people say "What's up?" on the International Space Station?
     
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  11. Mary Elise

    Mary Elise Member

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    :superthink:I'd say probably. The Earth is visible and that reinforces a human's innate sense of up and down. I think it likely the human brain has an awareness of gravity long before birth of which we're unconscious. Thinking about babies turning in the 8th month to a head-down (toward the center of gravity) position.

    All my kids started rolling around the moment I lay down. I swear they knew I was trying to sleep.

    ETA: It's questions like this that made me want to finish and work as a biophysicist. Alas. ...
     
  12. Mary Elise

    Mary Elise Member

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    @JLT The human body doesn't like almost zero gravity one bit. I say almost because by definition the human body exerts its own gravitational field. Quite small to be sure but it's there.

    And because I'm a geek I have this bookmarked.
     
  13. Mish

    Mish Active Member

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    I recommend writing a poem that summarises your feelings instead. That can be very therapeutic.
     

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