I'm editing this story with two characters, one of whom, let's call him James doesn't trust the other, Steve. Now they're walking into a room together and Steve gestures for James to go in first but James "wouldn't give his back to Steve" because he doesn't trust him. Both myself and the author know this isn't right but we cannot figure out how to fix it. So any suggestions for another way to express this same sentiment properly?
Hi @Juliette of The Stars, and welcome to the forum. Often if a sentence doesn't look right, rewording it is not the answer - it would be rare that one clumsy sentence is screwing a whole scene. perhaps just suggest that the author rework the scene so that it expresses the desired sentiment (which, from what you say, could mean a number of different things in different countries, so it would be very difficult, nigh impossible, simply to suggest alternative wording)
The answer seems so simple that I get the idea I'm misunderstanding you, but here it is anyway. The common way to phrase this would be "James wouldn't turn his back to Steve." Don't know if that's exactly what you're asking though.
You're not misunderstanding. That was also my first thought but then I kept thinking it sounded too close to "turn his back on Steve" and then I went in a downward spiral where words had no more meaning and I wasn't sure what to do!
That makes sense. And I guess the plan was if I couldn't figure out how to convey that meaning without changing the original wording, I would've suggested rewriting it, but I wanted to see if I was missing something first. Thank you
I know about the spirals. English is not my first language, so I'd be sticking with "turn back to" until someone corrects me. ;o)
Are you aiming for some kind of figurative meaning over here: “James would not trust Steve with his back turned”
Maybe something like 'The way Steve stood there, still indicating the open door. James just couldn't step through—it felt too much like a trap." Or don't say it in narration, but through dialogue and interaction.
Something along the lines of "James wouldn't show his back to Steve, he might get a knife in it". This kind of thing is done in movies all the time, often for comedic effect. Two people who either both want to go out first, or don't want to go out last, getting stuck in the door together.
Both sound awkward in English because they're easily confused with the "turn your back on" expression, which means to abandon somebody. Totally different sentiments. If you're looking for a popular expression, I'd write something like "James wouldn't let Steve out of his sight." Or if you really want to get cheesy, there's always "James didn't trust Steve any further than he could throw him." You probably shouldn't use that last one. It's really lame.
I would say "James wouldn't turn his back on Steve." That's actually an expression I've heard used many times. "I wouldn't turn my back on him for a minute." That means "I don't trust him."
