Hi! Are you a woman and do you have sisters? My WIP has a touch of Little Women and Pride and Prejudice inspiration (in modern setting) as I want to write about a set of sisters. I have no sisters myself. And I have known a few set of sisters in real life but I feel like I need more inspiration about different personalities and family dynamics. Would anyone share something of yourself with me, if you'd like? A few questions.. How different are you and your sister(s) in personality? What are the differences and similarities? What is the age difference between you and your sister(s) and how does it impact your relationship? Do you look up to your sister(s)? Do you get along well with your sister(s)? Why yes or why not? How much of stereotypes do you fit in as oldest, middle or youngest child?
I have one sister, who is 4.5 years younger than me. (No brothers.) Our personalities are quite different and we don't really look alike either, but we are very compatible and always have been. I am bolder, more willing to take chances when success looks good, am reasonably self-confident (but occasionally suffer Impostor Syndrome) and I'm not always kindly disposed to all humankind. (This last characteristic is getting more pronounced as I get older.) My sister is more cautious, has to be dragged into trying anything new, lacks the self-confidence to venture where she's never been, and has an extremely kind heart and a wicked sense of humour. She is a lot more competent than she gives herself credit for; she was a RN nurse all her working life, and she just retired last November. It was a demanding job and she did it well. I never aspired to anything quite so demanding as a job myself. She is well-loved, and I don't think she has an enemy in the world. There are people out there who aren't terribly fond of ME at all. But hey. We are both fairly pragmatic people, and we do what we need to do to keep things ticking over. We also enjoy a good laugh, and share lots of creative ideas and projects. We used to play with dolls a lot when we were children, as well as other make-believe games, like dressing up, etc. We both love the natural world, although she gravitates more towards the animal life, while I'm more of a plant lover. But we both loved spending time out in the woods, swimming in the Great Lakes, rivers and smaller lakes near our home town, and loved our time spent, as children, out at our camp in northern Michigan. We still get 'out' as often as we can, given that she now lives in a large city in central Michigan, and I live in an urban area of Scotland. We have each other's backs at all times, and always have done. I would wring the neck of anybody who gives my sister grief. We have always been allies. We have never had a serious disagreement, even as children. We were a firm 'unit.' Our interests are different in some ways, but, again, compatible. Our political outlook is the same. Certain aspects of her personality can be annoying ...mostly her chronic and self-limiting resistance to anything new ...but it doesn't interfere with our friendship. There must be times she gets annoyed with me as well...probably whenever I pressure her to try new stuff! I don't know what you mean by ' look up to?' I love my sister dearly and we share our most intimate secrets, even now that we live so far apart. We telephone each other frequently and talk for a long time. I think the large age gap was a benefit to us. A 4.5-year-gap means we never were in direct competition for anything. In fact, we used to get quite a laugh out of some aspects of this dynamic. She never complained about getting my hand-me-down clothing as I outgrew stuff. In fact, whenever I got something new, she would hover around, saying, "That's going to be MINE someday!" We were always generous towards one another as well. Our interactions, as we were splitting up our mother's personal things after her death went along the lines of, 'No, YOU can have it. No, really. If you like it, it's yours." Neither one of us scores points off the other, or would be happy knowing we got the better of the other one. We grew up in a rather restricted household (my mother didn't allow us much freedom outwith the home) so we played together all the time. I developed my penchant for storytelling by making up stories and telling them to my sister, over a period of many years. She sometimes used to wake me up in the middle of the night, demanding another chapter! That was funny. She certainly didn't allow me to have 'writers' block!' I think there is some sterotype in the way we grew up, and maybe in the way we still interact. As the 'older' sister I was expected to be the leader. As the younger one, she was the follower. It seemed to naturally fall that way. Not so much because of our position in the family, but more because of our personalities, I reckon. I would have loved for her to 'lead' on occasion, but she just didn't take to that role at all. I feel very very lucky to have a sister like her. And I had a great dad as well. (My mother was, to be charitable, weird, and her shadow still hangs over us both, unfortunately. But we've moved on.) Both of us have made happy marriages, and she has two great children (who are now in their 30s ...yikes.) And of course I've lived in Scotland for the past 33 years, and she still lives in Michigan. But the bond will always be strong between us. Here's a few photos of us together, in our earlier years. (I have some later ones as well, but they aren't on my computer.)
Well me and my sister aren't "Sisters" but I'm gay, making our dynamic rather similar to that of sister How different are you and your sister(s) in personality? In some aspects it couldn't possibly be more different. For example she doesn't mind hooking up with guys for a night, and never hear from them again, while I get attached super fast. She is scattered, and doesn't mind it, while I try my best being logical and responsible In other aspects we're basically identical. Neither of us care for others' opinions, especially unsolicited ones. We are both very intelligent, and cynical about life, both detest religion and everything that comes with it. What are the differences and similarities? I believe I answered that when answering your first question What is the age difference between you and your sister(s) and how does it impact your relationship? Three and a half years (26,23). It only impacted us in our youth, when such an age gap seems significant, not anymore. Do you look up to your sister(s)? There are some aspects of her personality which I adore, others which I envy. But one of our similarities is lack of adoration, we don't really do that lol Do you get along well with your sister(s)? Why yes or why not? For the most part, yes we do. She's a bit over-protective at times, and having been raised by a very criticizing mother, she sometimes perceive my worries, and/or opinions regarding her actions as personal attacks. But love was always there, and will always remain. How much of stereotypes do you fit in as oldest, middle or youngest child? I do not believe we fit into such roles. we are both very progressive and free spirited, and the most prevalent stereotypes are always the overprotective older brother/sister, and the adoring little sister, looking at her older sibling with googly eyes, and s/he can't do any wrong in her eyes. That's not us
How different are you and your sister(s) in personality? - My sister is 8 years younger than me and still in high school, so thats a big personality difference right there. But we are also really different. When she was growing up, she was really social and really huggy and caring and WAY to sensitive. Whereas, i was "social" to an extent, but generally kept to myself. I wasnt sensitive, but tended to get in fights a lot because, rather than cry and run away (like my sister), I would get angry and fight. I was also the type to try everything... I was in band, I was an athlete, I was in art club and writing clubs, I was in IB programs, college prep programs, SAT after school study groups, and maintain straight A's, was a high school representative that gave tours to incoming freshmen and their families. My sister... is the opposite. No clubs and organizations or athletics. She is terrified to fail, and cant handle it well, so she shies away from things that put her in the lime light. Because she's sensitive, she gets emotionally dependent on people and things and becomes clingy...to the extent where she starts pushing people away... which leads to depression. though she is starting to change slightly.... she joined an art club and tutors the students in her school with downs syndrome, and her therapist says she is doing good. Growing up, I used to baby her. I was 8 when she was born, so I saw her as MY baby lol. I'd read to her and sing to her and bring her everywhere, but she didn't really like me. Our older brother was her favorite. She always wanted to hangout with him and he spoiled her, buying her whatever she wanted. It would hurt my feelings how she'd tell me she hated me and how she never wanted to hangout with me. We argued a lot, to the point where I said I wish I had a little brother so that way he'd WANT to hang out with me and I'd have someone who'd look up to me the way she looked up to my brother (I found out a lot later that she interpreted that as I hated her and never wanted her). So, we didnt really have a relationship until I went away to college. After that, she called me a lot and even wanted to visit me. We message back and forth on google hangouts and she asks for homework help and whatnot. When i was in college, we had sleepovers and I'd take her to plays and different functions around campus. She was really upset when i moved away after I graduated. She says when she graduates from high school, she wants to move in with me. I feel like she is the stereotypical younger sister; spoiled, bratty, and can get away with anything and everything. As the middle child, I always felt like I was overlooked, so I immersed myself in activities to keep myself busy. these activities weren't really acknowledged until the middle of high school. I was also expected to be the role model to my sister, but whenever I'd reprimand her, I would get in trouble and my brother would come to my sisters defense and say that i was too bossy and needed to back off, so I ended up leaving that alone too. I told her that if she moves in with me, I'm not going to baby her like the parents and my brother and if she doesnt like it, she can move back home or stay on campus.
So I am the youngest. I have two half siblings Tracey from my Dad's previous marriage and Lisa from my Mum's. I should add my dad had children young so Tracey was 25 years older than me so we never lived together and Lisa was 10 years older and when I was 4 she went to live with my grandparents. I saw little of my sisters so no relationships or good memories could develop. On the rare occasions I did see them it felt odd. We were sisters and yet strangers and they seemed to have no interest in changing that balance. I don't like them and haven't for the last 3 years as they displayed some very dis likable qualities after our father passed away. How different are you and your sister(s) in personality? Like night and day. We have very little in common. They are both extroverts and I'm a introvert. They are both ambitious and I'm just happy to pander along in my life and don't ask much. What are the differences and similarities? I think I'm more similar to Tracey. Tracey doesn't tend to do any harm to anyone who hasn't harmed her. Lisa will involve innocent people in her battle and often tried to put a wedge between me and our Mum. Lisa and I are polar opposites. But with Lisa everything is out in the open. She resents me and is jealous of me and will and has admitted it. She claims our mother treated us differently. Lisa was a handful and I was not, Lisa got punished on a frequent basis and I didn't because I rarely did anything wrong. She still sees that as Mum punished me but never her. She's very myopic and self absorbed. Tracey isn't above petty cruelties because when my Dad died they never informed me of when his funeral was, ignored me at the wake and then wouldn't give me my share of his ashes. I wasn't going to beg for them or rise to their baiting. But Lisa was the real cruel one and I think it would have been worse if Tracey's "immoral level" wasn't there influencing Lisa. Lisa has always held Tracey up high so tries to stay on her good side. Lisa is highly intelligent and I'm not. She also got excellent people skills and can seem to get information out of you easily. Not too sure about Tracey. She could be very fake. With Lisa her true feelings were out in the open, but Tracey, she hid them. Any negative emotions that one shouldn't feel, she hid. Possibly because of our Dad. What is the age difference between you and your sister(s) and how does it impact your relationship? I think it had a large impact. We never really got to know each other, build any memories (good or bad). We never had anything in common as we were in different stages of our lives. We had nothing accept our Dad to bond over. Although not his birth child, Lisa loved my Dad and respected him. She had very few people in life she genuinely loved. Tracey is one, our grandmother, our Dad, her daughter Evie. Her other relatives, including her other two children are often used as pawns in her games. She's quite narcissistic. Our family drama always disappeared when ever Lisa stopped bothering with the family for a while. Tracey was equally self-absorbed and didn't both with our Dad for years, nor did she want to help me look after him when he became disabled after a stroke. Do you look up to your sister(s)? I used to want a relationship with them desperately...now no. I know what sort of person I don't want to be after seeing how they behave a treat people Do you get along well with your sister(s)? Obviously not lol Why yes or why not? Named a few reasons. The biggest one would be they way they treated me once Dad died. I got no thanks for giving up my teen years to feed him, take him to the bathroom, change his bed in the night when he had incontinence, or for letting them know he'd been taken into hospital. He could have spent three weeks in hospital, passed away, had his funeral and they still wouldn't have had been any the wiser if I hadn't of tracked them down on social media and told them he was sick. Tracey was nice to me in our Dad's presence. But we likely only saw her once a year, and for 15 years not at all so I had no real opinion on her until Dad died. Lisa I had more contact with on and off and disliked her most of my life. I didn't like the way she treated our mother, her two other children, her husband. She was always try to put the wedge in between me and our mum and create arguments. Our family all got on better when she wasn't around. She lies so much. How much of stereotypes do you fit in as oldest, middle or youngest child? I was stereotyped as the "quiet one" but we didn't do stereotypes in our family and my Mother disliked them. I never felt a sibling connection to my elder siblings so nothing could really develop. Not sure if that's helpful to you at all since it's mostly negative things but that's what I saw. I have no love for them because how can you love total strangers who also act disgracefully? A good, healthy sibling relationship is amazing but I guess some can just be toxic. There was a lot of jealousy although our parents tried to treat as all equally. It's hard when you have children with such huge age gaps.
How different are you and your sister(s) in personality? Core personalities- Fairly different. I am outgoing and spontaneous while my sister is *fairly* introverted. My sister also has some medical (mostly psychological) issues that make us very different. I am more independent while my sister has needed quite a bit of financial and emotional assistance for her adult life. She is agoraphobic and has major anxiety and depression, which has caused her to not be able to hold down a steady job, or do most independent things (like get a driver's license, move out of my parents' home, etc.). But we are both very passionate people and also stubborn, though her more than me. What are the differences and similarities? We enjoy many of the same interests including reading and writing, especially when we were both in school. My sister absolutely loves her dogs, while I am currently working in Animal Welfare. We enjoy a lot of the same entertainment (movies, TV, music). We both enjoy cooking as well. We differ in many aspects. I love to travel (including airplanes, which my sister is scared to death of), the outdoors (my sister prefers hotels with all of the fancy stuff), participating in sports (my sister is not physically active at all), art (my sister never really had interest in it), and just generally doing things and going places. While my sister never left home, I have moved across the continental US twice, once Westward, and then South. My sister did have 2 children though (don't ask about the dynamic of her still living at home, it's complicated!), while I am not interested in having kids. Though, I'm not sure if she would say that she wanted kids. It happened, and she became a mom and that's that. My sister's anxiety manifests in emotional/psychological ways, while my mild anxiety is more physical. I have done a lot of things to help my anxiety naturally (yoga, meditation, eating better, exercise), while she medicates with prescriptions. She is a little more "give me the fix to my problems" while I'm more "I can handle this myself." What is the age difference between you and your sister(s) and how does it impact your relationship? My sister is 5 years older than me. She is turning 40 this year. When we were little, we didn't get along. It wasn't until I reached about 12 that we started having a better relationship. When my sister was about 14 or so, she started being a "bad kid" and was into drinking and drugs. I learned a lot about how not to be. I also learned things from her, like how to sneak out of the window at night and not get caught. But I also learned when it was worth it vs when it was pointless. My sister's troubled teens taught me how much my mom really knew about us, which was more than I had thought. When my sister was 17 and got pregnant for the first time, I wanted to help out. This really impacted our relationship for the better. Now that we are adults, I would say we have a good relationship, though I also live 1200 miles away and talk to her maybe every 2 weeks at most. It can just be mentally exhausting, the reason for which is too complicated to get into. Do you look up to your sister(s)? No, and before you start to think it's because she has the mental issues, that's not 100% true. Yes, it causes struggles. I think the real reason is because of her stubbornness, which greatly exceeds my own. She gets angry over things that I don't believe are worth it. Sometimes I believe that she starts trouble, or at least exacerbates it, between my parents. Sometimes, I feel guilty for moving so far away from home and leaving my parents to care for her and her 2 kids. Sometimes I'm just happy to be out of it. But then I remember that when my parents pass away, I'll be required to take my sister and possibly her 2 kids in. It's a lot of pressure and it makes me want to leave the country and change my name. So, no, I do not look up to her. But I wish I could. Do you get along well with your sister(s)? Why yes or why not? Yes, when she is not in a depressive mood, for sure. If she is talking positively, or if we are agreeing on something, then for sure. Because of her temper, I try not to push her buttons when it isn't worth it. The last time I thought we weren't getting along, it was because every time I texted/messaged/called her, I got the cold shoulder. Turns out she was having a depressive episode and just couldn't face talking to anyone. I was relieved and yet completely devastated by that because I wish she would reach out to me when that happens. Then again, I understand why she couldn't. How much of stereotypes do you fit in as oldest, middle or youngest child? It's just my sister and me, with me being the youngest. I believe the stereotype is that the youngest is spoiled. I would say that I fit this about 75%. Growing up, my sister always got the most expensive electronics which I was very jealous of. But, as time went on and I graduated high school, I realized that my parents started putting more financial interest in my direction. As I got older and after I graduated college, I realized that my parents do spoil me quite a bit and I stopped accepting a lot from them and stopped asking for handouts. I'd rather that they spend their time, energy, and money on bettering my sister and her kids (who, by the way, are 21 and 18 and still live with my parents...).
