Research can give you facts, statistics, sometimes first-hand accounts. The writer can then take that research and combine it with their own life experience, observations, and emotions to make a good story. But one can't do that with only half the equation - it turns out flat. "Write what you know" can be taken too literally, but in this type of situation, I think it needs to be. As others have said, only doing research will not give the full understanding one needs for this kind of writing. So either fade to black or leave this and move to something else until you have the life experiences needed.
I actually agree with this, and with EdFromNY -- good advice. If you want to write for your own entertainment, fine -- but producing something like this with no frame of reference ain't gonna be easy. It'd kind of be like when I was fourteen and tried to do my dad's taxes.
Joanna, I have to ask - whatever would have possessed you to want to try to do anyone's taxes at the age of 14??
I think what Joanna meant was that it's doable, but nearly impossible to do taxes when you're 14. Just like if you're trying to write about something you have absolutely no idea about, and have no frame of reference for.
Link, I get that. I just wondered why she would have wanted to, since she seems to have actually tried.
I think the sort-of "fade to black" idea others have suggested here is a good one. That way the readers know the characters got busy, but you don't have to write details. Personally, I just avoid writing situations where sex would happen in the first place, because it's not a topic I want to write about at all. But if it's unavoidable I'd go with the "fade to black". Also, I totally did not expect to find a fellow ace here. Hi!
There was this really smart boy my friend and I walked home from school with one day who was bragging that he could do taxes. I wanted to be smart too, so I told him I could also do taxes. I went home and found my father's "taxes" box and started going through the papers and realized I had no idea, not even a clue. Didn't help that my dad's self employed, so there wouldn't even be a W2.
Hmm, actually I would suggest a happy medium here. I think it's perfectly possible to write something about romantic love/emotions etc, without having experienced them. No need to go for explicit stuff. I had a go at writing a murder mystery as a teen that was pretty much about grown-ups, without having any personal experience of being an adult or dating or anything. Looking back, yeah perhaps some of it was silly. But actually, not all of it was. If nothing else, it was a good exercise.
Yes you have a perfectly good point. If you want to create something entirely new for your story, you should by all means do it. I simply meant that when you talk about an already existing topic, you can achieve better results and have more impact on your reader if you have a lot of information or experience in the field.
