1. darkfabric

    darkfabric New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2011
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dangling Modifier?

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by darkfabric, Feb 7, 2011.

    Hi. While overlooking the content, would someone please suggest to me what might be incorrect about the grammar in the following sentence?

    "To cut the top branches with a sharp pair of clippers, climbed the man."

    I realize it's at least awkward but is it grammatically incorrect?

    Thanks in advance for any assistance.
     
  2. madhoca

    madhoca Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2008
    Messages:
    2,604
    Likes Received:
    151
    Location:
    the shadow of the velvet fortress
    This is not correct in modern English because after (or before) the purpose clause, which can be:
    To cut the top branches with a sharp pair of clippers, ...
    In order to cut the top branches with a sharp pair of clippers, ...
    So as to cut the top branches with a sharp pair of clippers, ...

    You need an independent clause which can stand alone as a sentence:
    The man climbed.
    'Climbed the man' cannot stand as a sentence.

    So, the correct sentence would be:
    To cut the top branches with a sharp pair of clippers, the man climbed.

    However, I would put the clippers part with the man because IMO in clear style purpose clauses should stay simple and the extra info come later:
    To cut the top branches, the man climbed with a sharp pair of clippers.

    I would probably put the clipper information into another sentence, in fact:
    e.g. To cut the top branches, the man climbed. He was equipped with a sharp pair of clippers.

    I'm trying to remember if there are any archaic constructions which allow for what you wrote, but nothing comes to mind at present. Even if there were, I'm not sure why I'd chose archaic English. Actually, I probably wouldn't put the purpose clause first, I prefer it coming second (notice you don't need a comma in this case):
    The man climbed to cut the top branches. He was equipped with/He carried a sharp pair of clippers.

    I think you may be remembering constructions like:
    Up the tree climbed the man. / Up the tree the man climbed.
    This is correct (although rather old) English, but you notice that 'Up the tree' is not a purpose clause...
     
  3. VM80

    VM80 Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2010
    Messages:
    1,209
    Likes Received:
    46
    What madhoca said.

    But even if reversed, it might still not flow too well.

    Personally I'd go with something like:

    The man climbed [up the tree] to cut the top branches with a sharp pair of clippers.
     
  4. SashaMerideth

    SashaMerideth Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2010
    Messages:
    309
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    California
    Not gramatically right but I know what you are trying to say. I have a minor character that speaks like this, he speaks very little but when he does...
     
  5. madhoca

    madhoca Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2008
    Messages:
    2,604
    Likes Received:
    151
    Location:
    the shadow of the velvet fortress
    Yep, that's definitely the best example!
     
  6. Forkfoot

    Forkfoot Caitlin's ex is a lying, abusive rapist. Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2008
    Messages:
    1,031
    Likes Received:
    54
    Incorrect unless you're a jedi muppet.
     
  7. digitig

    digitig Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Messages:
    2,490
    Likes Received:
    81
    Location:
    Orpington, Bromley, United Kingdom, United Kingdom
    I think it's grammatically correct but arcane. "Climbed the man" is a poetic inversion of "The man climbed", you can push the head of the sentence to the end like that, and "climbed" can be intransitive. Frankly, I think it's a sentence that should be taken aside and shot. The only possible reason I can imagine for its continued existence is to serve as an example that there's a lot more to good writing than grammatical correctness.
     
  8. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,150
    Likes Received:
    1,034
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    something can be grammatical [as this is] and still be poor writing...

    better quality writing would be the example shown by vm80, but without the brackets...
     
  9. Edward G

    Edward G Banned

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2010
    Messages:
    247
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    New Orleans area
    I agree with Digitig, but would add that I'm pretty sure this is a poetic construction, and there are no rules in poetry, only purpose. In other words, so long as the words are serving an intended purpose, they're correct.
     
  10. darkfabric

    darkfabric New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2011
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks

    Thanks to everyone for their responses. I should have added that I wasn't looking for the best way to word this particular sentence. I'm well aware its construction, if grammatically correct, is awkward at best. Thanks again, everyone.

    Edward, you're right, too. This line is from a poem. Actually, it's completely different from the line in my poem but rather than subject you all to my verse, I came up with this similarly-constructed sentence. I'm aware there are no rules (so to speak, as it were) in poetry but this line, though it seems to work in the poem, had me worried. You see, the sentence must end with the word 'man'.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice