First off, huge thank you to foiler for sharing what he did. While I have lapsed into a catatonic state before (scary business there) I have never been knocked unconscious and I get a real sense of what it's like now (at least as much as I can). The novel I'm writing currently starts off with the main character waking up from being unconscious after some very serious head trauma in a fight (with some brain damage, of course ) and I feel I need to do a little adjustment thanks to foiler's description. I'm rather excited about it. Yet again I'm going to throw in with chicagoliz here. The possibilities are endless for how to open this up. I think it would be great if you described your character starting to fade back into her senses. Notice little, confusing details that eventually snap, more or less, into a coherent scene. If you're interested, I can share how I did my opening. And for the record, I would more than a little panicky if I woke up tied to a chair in a strange place. Even if it was my living room or bathroom. I'd wonder what happened and, having once forgotten a few hours of my life (revealed through recordings from my friends), what I'm not remembering. I also pride myself on my accuracy of memory so it would be all the more traumatic.
You're welcome. Glad to have helped. Those who know me well often say that I'm at my best when I'm unconscious!
That's pretty close to how I experienced it. When the paramedics asked me questions, for the most part I answered them, but the answers were all over the place (like "have you been drinking?" I answered "yes" even though I hadn't touched a drop) and I have absolutely no recollection of that conversation except when I started regaining my senses. Even then when I did become coherent again, I had no idea what had happened, how I had ended up where I was (short term memory was out the window, still can't remember the last 5-10 mins before passing out or after waking up), or even what year it was (did know my name though, and I recognized my wife so that was something). When I was KO'd (not badly, just enough to make the lights go out), it wasn't so bad. I came to while I was falling towards the floor and my body reacted on its own so I didn't fall badly, I wasn't that disoriented (a little dizzy), and I was coherent from the get-go. I'd imagine a bad KO would be something between my two experiences.
Has anyone ever heard the saying "shallow realm of consciousness" to describe someone that's not fully aware yet as in, and this is off the top of my head brainstorming so it's probably bad, sorry "The voice drifted through the air, barely penetrating her shallow realm of consciousness."
I thought I'd open the scene with hearing voices, like Foiler said along with many others, hearing came first. So it would go like: "Dialogue A" "Dialogue B" The voices drifted through the darkness/fog/what have you, vaguely/barely/somewhat penetrating realm of consciousness/ringing ears/muffled hearing.
I'm a big fan of starting off in the middle of things (really helps hook the reader, too) so that approach really tickles my fancy.
One more question. The MC here is ex-military, so she knows how to deal with hostage situations, etc.. Does anybody know the military training protocols for dealing with waking up in a hostage scenario?
I don't believe there is a protocol for "waking up" in a hostage situation. I believe the protocol is "if you find yourself in" a hostage situation. In nearly all hostile environments, when you're not under immediate threat, your first objective is to observe, access the situation and try to determine the level of danger you're in. In a hostage scenario, you want to count how many hostage takers you are dealing with; you look at their clothes, weapons, perhaps extrapolate how well trained they are; listen for commands and look for gestures that might indicate which hostage taker is in command, and if the command is formal (military) or informal (non-military). One thing is critical: Try to access their objective and intention. If your hostage takers are attempting to shield their identity by wearing masks or using fake names in your presence, this is a strong indication that they do intend to kill you. They are hiding their identities because they anticipate that you will be released and could later identify them. On the other hand, if they are not hiding their identities, if they don't care if you can identify them, that's a very bad sign. It means they are either so inexperienced that that haven't thought through the details; hence, they are unpredictable or - worse - they intend to kill you and (or) themselves during the course of the mission.
Alesia, I don't want to throw cold water on your idea, but I ran across something in a book I'm reading and I thought I would post it here for you. Keep in mind, points like this are merely advice. If you like what you're doing, by all means, stick with it. Here's what I read (From the Book, :The Marshall Plan for Novel Writing): In my years of working as an editor, agent, packager, and novelist, I've noticed that other novelists often give in to certain instincts when they're writing - instincts that work to the detriment of their fiction. If you're aware of these instinctive weakeners, you'll more likely be able to avoid them. Here are the three worst offenders: Instinctive Habit #1: Beginning a Section with a Character Awakening or Going to Sleep I can't tell you how many times I've read sections that begin with the alarm clock going off, or the phone jangling. Starting a section this way is a bad idea because a section shouldn't begin when the day starts; it should begin with its viewpoint character beginning his or her pursuit of THIS SECTION'S GOAL. In some writers' defense, we do sometimes see a novel beginning with that phone jangling, and the call is from someone telling the awakening character that something awful has happened. This kind of phone jangling is better because it presents the crisis that should begin any novel... but it's still a cliche and should be avoided.
It depends how it's done and how vital it is to the plot as a whole. What the cliche' is actually, just from my POV, is too many people begin their stories with the MC waking up and going about mundane tasks before whatever it is happens to them.
Waking up tied up, in a hostage situation, is not at all the same as waking up in your bed and hitting the snooze button. It is not what the book you are citing is referencing.
I know nothinng about being unconcious except for medical procedures and then it felt like a terrible hangover with an out of sync reboot. But if I was to awake from anything tied up, u can damn well bet that i would go into an adrenaline fueled hyper awareness. What i then experienced might not be accurate, my mind would be going at warp speed trying to piece it all together while i was frantically trying to get one of the ropes, shackles, handcuffs, or whatever was used undone.
Yup. Actually, after reading your post and chicagoliz's post, I'm thinking that you guys may be right: Waking up in a hostage situation was not what the book was describing.
Drawing on the idea that the first thing that came to mind was that I wasn't in my bed and I wasn't waking up normally, then going through a reboot with senses coming back one at a time. If you're writing first person, you could start with something like... This doesn't feel like my bed. No, this isn't a bed. I opened my eyes to a vertical world, the side of my face pressed against a cold, concrete wall and through the haze, I could barely make the odd shapes in front of me. The wall defied gravity - chairs and tables were mounted from their legs and hung like pictures. A pair of legs stepped in front of me - black wingtips beneath crisply pressed pants and cuffs. How is this guy standing on the wall? Wall? No, this the ground; you're on the ground. Headache. You're hurt. Buzzing. What's that buzzing? Someone's speaking. Wait... I remember fighting; Oh shit! You're in a fight! You're in a fight - and you're down!
Something to consider: Being knocks unconscious is different from falling asleep. Being unconscious feels like your whole body is paralyzed and you don't know up vs down. You can kind of tell what's going on around you but it's all a big haze. Waking up you feel groggy and tired. It's like the worse sleep you've ever experienced.
Another question of plausibility. This one came to me, as always, while I was trying to fall asleep. Can you be jerked back to consciousness violently? Such as " MC woke gasping for breath, jerked back to consciousness by a sharp kick to the ribs." or something along those lines.
What if you were running on a super high load of adrenaline before the KO? I'm going on something here based off: and this: I know it's TV, but a good reference for what I'm talking about is the first scene of LOST where Jack awakes with kind of a jump start before blearily looking around. The angle I'm looking at now (isn't the brainstorming process fun?) is her mind is still in run for your life mode, because what I can gather is unconsciousness is pretty much, world goes black then comes right back and you have zero idea what went on, weather your attacker is still after you, etc..
Thinking back to how it went with my husband, when he came to, he seemed calm, but when he realized there were two male paramedics hovering over him, he became more active, but sort of languidly, just fumbling about. Due to the grogginess, there seemed to be now twitching or abrupt movements. Just sort of groggy confusion. I dunno, other people may react differently.
I was thinking about opening like this: "She awoke with a gasp, her eyes darting around anxiously as the world slowly came back into focus." Basically awake, eyes open in one foul swoop. I'm thinking this might work better as a pass out rather than a blow to the head knock out. A pass out I do have personal experience with and I remember being almost fully alert and on my feet again pretty quickly when I came to, just drowsy and slow in my thinking the rest of the day.
