1. Jasmine Mander

    Jasmine Mander New Member

    Apr 23, 2020
    Likes Received:

    Query Letter Young Adult Historical Adventure Novel

    Discussion in 'Query & Cover Letter Critique' started by Jasmine Mander, Apr 23, 2020.

    Hi all, I would appreciate some sincere feedback on my query letter. I have crafted it based on all sorts of templates I have seen and tweaked it based on blogs and videos giving tips on 'crafting the perfect query letter'. I have not had feedback yet from writers though so would appreciate anything thing that could improve my chances of getting manuscript requests!

    Agent’s Name
    Agency Name

    Dear ,

    My 78331-word young adult adventure novel, Renegades, is a thrilling tale set in imperial Brazil. It follows an orphan boy named Pedro as he embarks on an unexpected journey into the uncharted depths of the Amazon after a chance encounter teams him up with a runaway pirate and they are swept up in a hunt for an ancient treasure, one that they are far from alone in pursuit of.

    As the leader of a secret village of orphan kids hidden among the treetops of Rio de Janeiro, Pedro will do whatever it takes to keep it safe. When a pirate invasion threatens the very sanctuary that took him in when he needed it most, he finds himself in an alliance with someone who couldn’t be more different. Bridget, a runaway from a life of privilege she never quite fit into, has it all to prove when she recruits Pedro to help her find the treasure of the Lost Tokenchini Tomb.

    All who have traveled deep into the Amazon in search of it have perished, never again to return. In order to find the treasure—and make it out alive —Pedro and Bridget must defy the odds of history. And as renegades on the run, they’ve made their fair share of enemies they’ll have to contest with; from vengeful pirates, to rogue armada soldiers and the mysterious men and beasts that call the Amazon home.

    Short paragraph explaining why you think that specific agent would be a good fit for your novel.

    I have written for The Fulcrum and Nature Canada. Having an educational backround in Environmental Sciences and having taken classes in creative writing, I was able to combine my passions for writing and the environment in creating an exciting and action packed story that I also hope, in taking the reader on a journey through the Amazon rainforest, brings them a new awareness and appreciation for its importance and the issues it continues to face today.

    Thank you so much for taking the time to consider Renegades. I have included a sample as per your guidelines. The full manuscript is available upon request. Looking forward to hearing from you!


    Author Info
  2. Steve Hill

    Steve Hill New Member

    Apr 16, 2020
    Likes Received:
    Milwaukee, WI
    Here are the main points I got from your pitch. I've cut it down a lot, based on feedback I got for my query.

    Renegades is a YA adventure novel complete at 78K words.

    Hidden high above Rio de Janeiro, Pedro leads a secret village of orphan children. When a pirate invasion threatens their sanctuary, Pedro is forced to turn to an outsider. Having run away from her privileged life, Bridget seeks the treasure of the Lost Tokenchini Tomb.

    But no one has traveled so far into the Amazon rainforest and survived. Both must learn to trust each other if they are to escape vengeful pirates, recover the treasure and make it out of the jungle – alive!

    I have written for The Fulcrum and Nature Canada and have an educational background in Environmental Sciences. I hope my book will help readers discover a new awareness and appreciation for the Amazon rainforest and the issues it continues to face today.

    Thank you so much for taking the time to consider Renegades. I look forward to hearing from you.
    DeviouSquirrel likes this.

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