Can you show us how you 'hook' the reader in your first paragraph? I responded to the 'show us your first three sentences' thread, and I realized I had a much better first choice when I saw them side by side. Even though the first 3 sentences were bland, there was one paragraph that I think 'hook' the reader better. I think THIS will start my book. The old woman smiled and leaned into the woman on the birthing bed, “Daughter, You have a girl!”In spite of her exhaustion, the woman smiled, a girl! At last, someone who can inherit her fledgling, always near failure, business! She would name her ‘Wilhelmina’ after the protector in the ‘Nameless Book’. She has always loved the story about the time when the Angels brought fire to destroy the people. The aging consortiere with a record siring girls had been worth every bit of silver she had spent on him. She had a Daughter!”
Folks, perhaps a refresher is in order: Our forum has a Writing Workshop that functions on the core premise of reciprocity. This reciprocity is one wherein payment is made in advance, in the form of critiques given (2-for-1) prior to being able to post one's own work. Payment after the fact is the way accounts in arrears come into being. We don't allow "Post your first paragraph" or "Post your first scene" or anything past the "Post your first three sentences" thread.