Zoupskim's Resolution

Discussion in 'Progress Journals' started by zoupskim, Jul 19, 2016.

  1. big soft moose

    big soft moose All killer, no filler. Contributor Community Volunteer

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    man you american's have all the luxuries .. in the royals they have to colour using their own bodily fluids
     
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  2. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    My new job would be more along the lines of researching the sorts of crayons the enemy eats. Then, we compare then to the ones we eat, then write some reports on it, then maybe give some presentations on the state of crayon consumption in our assigned regions.

    Didn't write today, as I was wrapping up some paperwork.
     
  3. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    Spent the last few days moving from the training command to my house.

    Home sweet home.
     
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  4. big soft moose

    big soft moose All killer, no filler. Contributor Community Volunteer

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    Ah you're going to be a Weeble.

    Just remember

    Air Force Intelligence = Nearly Oxymoronic
    Army Intelligence = the same without the nearly
    Marine Intelligence = the same without the oxy
     
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  5. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    Been settling back into home. No writing, still. I hope to start tomorrow, I just need to get a handle on all the notes from readers.


     
  6. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    Finally. Writing again.

    Blood: Today I started an edit of all of Blood's dialog attributions. Reader 5 pointed out a lot of details to how dialog should be handled, so I started fiddling with that.

    Blood 2:
    I started plotting this all out, in case Blood 1 goes well. I finished outlining first 2 acts and established most of the characters on paper.

    War Book: I've spoken about writing a military scifi based on my experience as a Marine. I've fiddled around with what it would be like, but today I actually tried to plot out the book. It's fun to write my life out, especially when I have to fit my experiences into the typical "military science fiction" mold. Yes, there is a boot camp chapter.
     
  7. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale hostis humani generis Contributor

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    For me, that would be a grimdark future where all the deck buffers have been replaced by things similar to Roombas...

    ...which are all deadlined by supply, leaving the raw recruits of the Space Force to polish all the floors in the entire station with old socks and melted crayons from their space MREs....

    [​IMG]

    Not to mention removing all those light panels and Q-tipping the electrical connections.....
     
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  8. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    Blood: Dialooog attributiooons! Did another chapter. This also counts as a dialog edit.

    War Book: This is happening, I think. It literally could not be any easier: I'm just rewriting my life, but in space. I'm going for verisimilitude, so even if air assaults and convoys in Afghanistan change into space drops and lunar patrols on Mars, but it will all be realistic.

    As for the science part of my military sci-fi, I'm going with a more "nature of humanity and war" than "what if we were all squids?" Colonists out in space could be demonized just as easily as anyone else. Just go look at all the articles talking about how people who want to go to Mars are crazy, or are insane, or that they will end up going crazy. We're already doing it, and there's NO ONE there yet.



    Linz (3).jpg
     
  9. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale hostis humani generis Contributor

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    See, in my case, we would have known how to say it (26xx), but the weapons would have been locked in a Conex somewhere, and the ammunition would have been in a different time zone.

    "Stop, or I'll yell 'stop' again!"
     
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  10. big soft moose

    big soft moose All killer, no filler. Contributor Community Volunteer

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    Whereas in our case we'd know what to say and we'd be tooled up but the ROE would forbid firing unless three of the squad had already been tentacled to death, in case we upset any alien sensibilities.

    That bit in aliens where he says "what are we supposed to use, harsh language ?" comes to mind
     
  11. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale hostis humani generis Contributor

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    Right after I got to the Fleet (the "real" Marines, after all the training) all the trucks had come back from Desert Storm full of unclassified stuff, so we needed to post a guard on the motor hole. The telephones were down because reasons, and there was nothing important enough to warrant us having weapons, so me and some random corporal got stuck there for a weekend. No comms, no weapons, on Kaneohe Marine Corps base, stopping anyone from hopping the fence and stealing expired MREs and tents, with the only option of yelling "Halt, or I'll yell halt again!"

    I guess that figured into one of these somehow:

    [​IMG]

    Not mine, but the one on the left is the Good Conduct Medal, for not getting in legal trouble for three years, and the one on the right is the National Defense Service Medal, for being in during a time of war. Issued continuously since August of 1990...

    Fat stacks, yo....
     
  12. big soft moose

    big soft moose All killer, no filler. Contributor Community Volunteer

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    The usual form of words is "stand where you , if you don't want a good shoeing"
     
  13. Glen Barrington

    Glen Barrington Member

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    My father (Army) used to say to me (AirForce), you can always tell a Marine, you just can't tell them very much!
     
  14. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    Took my kids to see the new Grinch movie... it was actually quite charming. Then I wrote.

    Blood: Reader 1 sent some short comments saying they thought the beginning was better, and not as slow. Yay.

    Reader 5 finished the book, and we are currently discussing it. Overall they liked the all of characters, but thought certain descriptions could be written more clearly, especially some of the moral resolution scenes.

    I read 3 chapters and re-wrote them for extreme clarity.

    Also did 2 chapters worth of dialog attribution fixes.
     
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  15. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    Today is... writing day.

    Blood: Reader 5 and I have been discussing their notes a bunch. I edited 2 chapters of dialog...

    Writing... do it every day.
     
  16. Dracon

    Dracon Contributor Contributor

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    Just keep pushing on! I just squeezed out an extra forty minutes or so before bed, got down at extra few hundred new words or so.
     
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  17. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    Write more. Use this to stay awake.

     
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  18. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    Dialog Edddit oooff Blooooddd: Two chapters.
     
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  19. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    Hey, the forum didn't die.

    Blood: Finished all of Act 1 dialog edit yesterday. Act 2 will be worse, though, because there's more dialog. Oh well. As a little exercise I've begun reading dialog scenes in other books, and reading it aloud, to get a handle on how it all sounds.

    Reader 1 told me they the beginning of the book is a lot better.

    Reader 5 and me are still talking about the book.
     
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  20. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    Tonight, on Zoupskim's Writing Madness, a lot was accomplished.

    Blood: Did about 5 chapters of Act 2's mouthy dialog attributions.
     
  21. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    Today I took a break from blood and wrote some of my...

    War Book: I wrote a few action/fight scenes. Action is tricky, and I the POV for this book is literally 1st-person-me, so I'm trying to think through my experiences, and think of how to portray them interestingly, yet accurate.
     
  22. big soft moose

    big soft moose All killer, no filler. Contributor Community Volunteer

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    Well it did, but Wrey and Daniel sacrificed a spamalope in a dark satanic ritual performed by the light of a blood moon, in a pentacle with the amazon symbol at the centre and resurrected its still warm corpse
     
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  23. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    Okay, fine, I'm willing admit it. I'm not ashamed at ALL! I didn't write ANY last night, because of mother-fucking Stardew Valley. There! Are you happy!? WEll, I am, because my blueberry crop is coming in and it's amazing@!@!!!! GAWD, get off my case!

    Seriously though, its a nice little time waster. I can see why people like it.

    Blood: 2 chapters of dialog attributions so far.
     
  24. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    Blood: Got in a good rhythm. 2 chapters of dialog attributions. Also, inevitably, I'm actually reading the book as a I go, improving little bits.
     
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  25. Dracon

    Dracon Contributor Contributor

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    What are your conclusions? How are you addressing this in your read-through? From what I've read, a more minimalistic approach is preferred. Sometimes almost the whole scene is just dialogue, and that seems to work just fine, yet I would be quite nervous about doing that in my own writing.
     
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