Random Ramblings

I sent out a round of queries, and this weekend received my (first ever) rejection. It was from my "dream agent" (sniffle), but at least I was offered a tiny glimmer of hope - a personalized rejection (exact words: "While I was intrigued by your premise, I felt the writing lacked the line-by-line tension necessary to keep me glued to every page." aka, Your idea is good, but your writing sucks - better luck next time!) It's my first ever rejection because it's the first ever query I'd sent, and I've been told that a personalized rejection is a good sign. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this bodes well for the future.

Having been rejected, I guess I've officially joined ranks with all other authors who sought first time publication and heard the word "NO" over and over. I've earned my merit badge, and I suppose I'll be earning many more.

My novel still isn't perfect. It's finished, and in fact, it is the FIRST full length novel I have ever finished in my life (patting myself on the back for finally finishing what I started - you lost, laziness and procrastination, you lost).

But the more I look at my story, the more I read it over, the more I obsess and revise, revise, revise like a mad scientist. Originally, my story was an adult novel. Now, I feel my story works much better as a YA novel, and I am in the process of updating. (Of course, if by some miracle an agent replied back with a "YES" regarding my original version, I'd revert back - but I highly doubt the plausibility of that scenario).

Along the journey to completing my novel and seeking first time publication, I've discovered a few realities about being a writer:

1) You have to develop a thick skin.
2) On the flip side, you have to also be receptive to criticism.
3) Some days you will feel like your writing rivals the greats (Shakespeare has nothing on me!), other days you'll feel like a fifth grader with a sharpie could write more convincingly
4) To continue that line of thought, some days you'll absolutely love your story, and other days you'll want to start a bonfire with it.
4) Writer's block is a bitch.
5) Love-hate relationship - some days you love writing, and other days you loathe it and have to drag yourself kicking and screaming to the keyboard.

Yesterday, I loved writing. Today, I hate it. Tomorrow, I'll love it again.