Here's a summary:
Say goodbye to parents sobbing my eyes out.
an hour later being invited out by a group of bimbos - but hey, I have to push myself to make friends, right?
Have a massive migraine- go to bimbo room where they give me ****ty whine, two different types, and I down it on an empty stomach.
I Immediately feel worse.
Go all the frickin' way to picadilly circus with them, being the odd one out, them gradually taking less notice of me until I might aswell disappear alltogether. I'm the short one who doesn't where heels.
I realise it's a mistake when I feel like i'm blacking out on the tube and we aren't even there yet. At the tube station a stranger passed me their travel card - god send right?
We get to the stupid nightclub eventually and to my horror I cannot find my ID. It's ALWAYS in my purse but for some reason it isn't there. I find the excuse to leave - they don't question it or offer to help. I leave feeling like an idiot but so glad to be able to get out.
I use my free travel card and on the way I feel like death. It seems to take an age. When I get to the station for my Uni, I feel so sick that I have to find somewhere to puke. I run out of options and puke in some horrible corner. It's 12am at this time, so nobody's around but I feel dirty and want to die.
I stumble down this long road, it's pitch black - I'm crying down the phone to Matt because everything's so horrible. I've made no real friends, I've got a horrible headache and sickness, and I can't even go back to the comfort of my own home.
I get to my room eventually and need to puke again. That poor sink. There is nothing but cheap whine in my stomach. More crying on the phone. Eventually, I get a horrible night of broken sleep on a hard bed and pillow.
I wake up feeling like death, lonely and foolish.
Why am I such a ****ing moron? I'm always the bloody loser no matter what I do.
What a ****ing horrible first night.
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