My life has been a whirlwind of change....

Published by Ashleigh in the blog Ashleigh's blog. Views: 52

Where do I start?

Six months ago, things were different. Very different. Boring, yes; but normal atleast.

Ever since Grandad became ill, I've endured that 'growing up' change that I feel i've been avoiding. (More like hiding from under a rock!).
Although i've always been a mature lass, the time has come when I realise how much i take for granted. My Family being happy, days drifting by, minor arguments, little things. Everything has changed. I've always dreaded the day that I must face the loss of my grandparents, and now it's here, and it's been here for months and will continue to stay for months on end...Cancer is so cruel. Can I honestly face it? I envy my young cousin; she's totally oblivious to the fact that he's slowly slipping away from us. Oh, He's coping amazingly well...not to mention Nanny; she's been brave for all of us.
My mum has too, of course; She never cries in front of him, but it's so hard to see her cry when she's home with me. I'll hold her and tell her it's alright, but what can I do? She's losing her father, and I'm losing my lovely Grandad. It seems like nothing can change that.

I barely see my mum anymore. My mother and aunts/uncles take turns in staying the night there incase he has one of his turns and Nanny's left alone to deal with it. Suddenly, I just dont want to grow up. I'm 18 soon, things are supposed to be looking up for me..and yet somehow, I always knew this would be a bad year for my family.

Things have a way of working out, I know. I was with a guy before that frankly couldnt care less about my feelings or my family. A selfish, spoiled, pathetic individual he was. At my worst, he left me, without even a goodbye. I deserved better. I'll be honest, he was a substitute for something so much better. A poor, ridiculous excuse for a substitute at that....I just needed a friend; In him I found an enemy.

About...2 and 1/2 months ago, I met an angel.
It didnt take me long to realise that he's the one i've been waiting for; someone to talk to, to trust. Someone who really cared for me, someone I could truly love. I do, I love him; he's there for me rain or shine, always by my side, making me smile. He fits perfectly into my family, gets on with them, makes them laugh; makes me laugh! He's my ray of sunshine, god knows what I'd do without him now.

A million life lessons have been learned in so little time for me, this year...but, you know what? Love beats the bad in everything. Family, friends, and My angel x
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