Push the Edge

By Em_Anders · Feb 19, 2013 · 617 · 4
  1. Slowly but surely I seem to be building the confidence needed to post fragments of things I've written, to allow myself the criticism necessary to grow and further develop myself as a writer.

    Here is a poem I wrote a few months ago that is very near and dear to me. It underwent only one revision as the words my heart wanted to speak were not willing to be altered (much).

    As always, opinions and criticism, critiques and suggestions are welcome, and enjoy =)


    Push the Edge

    Standing toe to toe at the edge of the world
    So much in time was left raw and unfurled
    Broken dreams made uncertain sorrows
    Binding arms blocked heart aimed arrows
    Turning away only to get turned around
    The memories returned an echoing sound
    Simpler days spawned the hardest nights
    Shadowy skies tangling grounded kites
    Leaving the thickest scars I painfully trace
    Living that demands the sight of your face
    ​
    teeekilicious18 likes this.

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  1. choco043100
    I don't really criticized the words of others, especially if it is something that they have done with their heart. I will just tell you my own interpretation of what you have wrote. Those we're the words of a woman that was missing someone. Someone that she was in love with a long time ago. She thought turning away was the best thing to do at that time. But, as time passes by, her heart betrayed her. Their memories hunted her that she cannot barely breathe because of the pain that was running inside her. She would like to see him but sometimes things didn't go the way you planned it.--> I can still say a lot of things about your poem but I no longer have much times....
    choco043100, Feb 21, 2013
  2. choco043100
    I don't really criticized the words of others, especially if it is something that they have done with their heart. I will just tell you my own interpretation of what you have wrote. Those we're the words of a woman that was missing someone. Someone that she was in love with a long time ago. She thought turning away was the best thing to do at that time. But, as time passes by, her heart betrayed her. Their memories hunted her that she cannot barely breathe because of the pain that was running inside her. She would like to see him but sometimes things didn't go the way you planned it.--> I can still say a lot of things about your poem but I no longer have much times....
    choco043100, Feb 21, 2013
  3. 55isnotanumber
    The emotion can definitely be felt. It's not sappy or full of drama; just real.
    55isnotanumber, Feb 24, 2013
  4. Em_Anders
    Thank you choco043100 for your interpretation. You are very close, which makes me very glad. I'm not very good at conveying emotional messages in my writing but it looks like I accomplished just that here.

    Thank you 55isnotanumber for your input.

    And lastly, thank you all 57 viewers for viewing =)
    Em_Anders, Feb 24, 2013
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