The Calm of the Storm

By K.M.Lynch · Dec 20, 2011 · ·
  1. The rain poured down and everywhere he looked people ran for cover. The mother and daughter walking in front of him both playfully screeched and ran into the nearest shop, helplessly giggling and shaking raindrops from their shoulders. A business man across the street swore up at the sky and motioned impatiently for a taxi.

    The city became a dark and mysterious place and small pinpoints of electric light blazed brightly in the blackness. He continued on his way, head held high, smiling up at the roiling clouds. Lightning flashed and thunder quickly broke above the sheltering concrete and metal girders.

    He had always loved storms; they made a person feel like they were alive. There was so much power in the air. It was as though Mother Nature was reminding the human race that she alone ruled this earth. No matter how much humanity had reshaped the world, no matter how much knowledge we acquired or how many hidden secrets we exposed and studied, we would always cower before nature’s furies.

    To him, a storm created the same feeling as when he looked up at the infinite number of stars in the night sky and realized that we are all insignificant within the universe. Some people did not like that thought; but if human beings are insignificant than so too are our problems. He found that this thought made him stop stressing so much over the decisions he made in his life.

    Oddly the effect of this belief actually made being outside in the middle of a storm calming for him. At the same time though, it was pretty dangerous and he knew that he should get inside before too long. Lightning may look awesome, but he was fairly certain that it didn’t feel so great.

    Looking around for shelter he spotted a coffee shop just off to the left. Sprinting to make a light, he raced to the doors and ducked inside. He was drenched to the skin and his coat started to steam a little in the warm indoor air. Water dripped down his face and into his eyes. A small puddle was already forming at his feet.

    People were scattered about sitting at little tables, talking and watching the rain come down. Sipping coffee and tea, they looked warm and cozy as they ate their pastries. Digging in his pocket for some change, he walked up to the counter and ordered a black coffee and a chocolate donut.

    Grabbing one of the last empty tables, he sat down and took a bite out of his donut. The rain was coming down in torrents and with a healthy wind to carry it, the drops were driven sideways. The streets were now empty of all but the hardiest of pedestrians and traffic had slowed to a crawl.

    A blanket of black clouds covered the sky and occasionally lightning sparked and thunder crashed in the distance. Sitting with a warm drink and surrounded by strangers, unable to go rushing off on yet more errands, he felt peace wash over him.

    This was the type of calm that only came with a storm.

Comments

  1. suhailp
    I think this is a great little piece Lynch, I like the great attention to detail, you really make the scene come alive in one’s imagination. There were a couple of parts were I wasn't as impressed however,


    He had always loved storms; they made a person feel like they were alive. There was so much power in the air. It was as though Mother Nature was reminding the human race that she alone ruled this earth. No matter how much humanity had reshaped the world, no matter how much knowledge we acquired or how many hidden secrets we exposed and studied, we would always cower before nature’s furies.

    So I like this part, but this along with the next paragraph I think are the only parts that need work.

    Eg: “He had always loved storms, those crashes of thunder sparked life within him. He could sense power in the air. It was if mother nature itself was asserting her rightful place as the lonesome ruler of this world. It seems then, that regardless of how much humanity reshapes and understands this universe and its secrets, no matter how much we should study and peer into the depths of its extremities, we would ultimately always cower before nature’s unbridled fury.”

    The next paragraph also,
    To him, a storm created the same feeling as when he looked up at the infinite number of stars in the night sky and realized that we are all insignificant within the universe. Some people did not like that thought; but if human beings are insignificant than so too are our problems. He found that this thought made him stop stressing so much over the decisions he made in his life.

    I like what you're saying here, just I think you could have put it better. Maybe like this:

    eg:"To him, the storm created that feeling of insignificance. The enormity of time and space seemed to defy comprehension. Yet some people were not fond of the idea; but if human beings are insignificant, than so too are our problems. He found this notion comforting, the bitter regret of life’s missed chances seemed to wash away in the cascading rain."

    So I think the only problem is that those two paragraphs are lacking the rhetoric that would portray your message so much more vividly. The rest however, I do like. You’re a good writer dude. I hope you found this useful.
  2. K.M.Lynch
    Thanks so much for the help. I think you're right about those two paragraphs, they sounded very awkward even as I was writing them. You have a great way with words and I really appreciate the help. Thanks again!
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