Tony Montana's overweight cousin (Flash fiction)
Tony Montana’s overweight cousin is sat at the dinner table drunk and surrounded by his colleagues.
-YOU NEED PEOPLE LIKE ME, he slurs drunkenly, getting up from the table.
The rest of the restaurant’s clientele are uncomfortably alarmed at the scene. Tony Montana’s overweight cousin has promptly taken a big shit on their atmosphere. An atmosphere which they, as customers of such a fine and reputable establishment, could feasibly claim proprietary ownership to. Beforehand the atmosphere had a wistful quality, a sort of breezy “Ooh, this is lovely, isn’t it?” as people waited for their meals. Now the airwaves were polluted.
-YOU NEED PEOPLE LIKE ME...So you can POINT your fuckin' fingers and say, “Dat’s da fat guy.”
Tony Montana’s overweight cousin is now being restrained by his gangster colleagues who are trying to limit the disruptiveness of this embarrassing scene. His belly is lying out.
-I always tell the truth...even when I consume calories, he adds, picking up a piece of chicken from a stranger’s plate and eating it.
-SO SAY GOOD NIGHT TO DA FAT GUY he says, as he’s ushered out by his mates and sycophants.
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