1. picklzzz
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    picklzzz Senior Member

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    Back of my book - synopsis

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by picklzzz, Nov 21, 2011.

    In response to the thread on what attracts you to want to read a book, some said they would read the back cover. Here's the synopsis of one of the two novels I've been working on. Would this synopsis inspire you to want to read more? Why or why not? Also, from this synposis, what genre would you say the story would fit into? Thanks!


    Synopsis:

    During the biggest snowstorm to hit Detroit in years, two cars collide on the black ice shrouding Davina’s Bridge. In that instant, the souls of the drivers intertwine, repeating the tragic events that befell Davina and her lover so many years before. Trent walks away unscathed while Kendra suffers severe injuries, falling into a coma for nearly three weeks. When she awakens, she is paralyzed from the neck down and unable to speak more than a whisper. In a world completely out of her control, she must rely on her increasingly distant fiancé, the despondent nurse assigned to her and the cop who risked everything to rescue her.

    When Kendra enters a dream world induced by the myriad of drugs coursing through her IV, she finds herself as an observer in Trent’s mind, unable to do anything but watch as he plans the perfect murder.

    Trapped in the insidious state of Trent’s diminishing sanity, Kendra must find a way to stop him before he exacts a revenge that will shatter the lives of many.
     
  2. TurtleWriter
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    TurtleWriter Member

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    I found that your Synopsis is enticing. I felt intrigue in an instant with you first paragraph there. You don't tell me, the reader, what happened to Davina and her lover (so I want to know now). I am interested in what has happened to Kendra (in spite of an emotional connection- yet), and then "hook, line, and sinker"-ed by the last two small paragraphs. I can only imagine the intense feelings Kendra would be going through, and the depth of her frustrations from the inability to communicate.

    If I got to your synopsis on the back, then I would be more likely to purchase your novel.
     
  3. TurtleWriter
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    TurtleWriter Member

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    Since this is a duplicate post, I'll just say good job. Haha
     
  4. power44
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    power44 Member

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    I like the first paragraph
     
  5. AmyHolt
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    AmyHolt Contributing Member

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    "Davina’s Bridge"? The bridge is named after the main character? That seems a bit strange.

    "In that instant, the souls of the drivers intertwine, repeating the tragic events that befell Davina and her lover so many years before." So you are saying that years before Davina crashed on this bridge and the first time it happened the driver of the other car was her lover and this time the other driver was Trent, her fiancé, and both times her soul was intertwined with the other drivers. I wonder if you didn't mean that they (the lover and fiancé) were in the car with her. And even though I love the premise that she gets locked into Trents head, having that happen to her twice seems strange. I guess it doesn't exactly say that Davina and her lover's souls were interwined but that was my first impression reading the sentence.


    The first time you introduce Trent you should tell who he is in regard to the main character. My guess is that he is Davina's fiancé but I don't think you actually say that anywhere. Trent, her fiancé, walks away...

    Hold on, I just reread and realized you MC is Kendra not Davina, right? I completely missed that the first time through because the first few sentence make me think the MC is Davina.

    I'm going to stop here because you probably already think I'm a jerk for tearing up the first couple sentences. But I found it confusing. I do love the premise and if you can clear up some of the confusion I think it sounds like a very fun story. I love fantasy based in reality, it has a nice market draw so your chances of finding an agent and publisher are good. If you rewrite it, I'd love to see the new version.
     
  6. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    that's too long for a back of the book blurb... count the words on the backs of several bestseller p/bs and you'll see what the limits are... might do for a jacket flap blurb, but not the back of a p/b...

    and why a back of the book blurb anyway?... are you planning to self-publish this as a p/b?
     
  7. picklzzz
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    picklzzz Senior Member

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    Hey Amy,

    I agree that perhaps it is confusing. I have a "prologue" that is a legend based on two characters, Davina and her lover, who is the Mayor of the town. Something happens to Davina, and then to the Mayor as a result. I couldn't find an appropriate real legend, so I made up one myself. Then, Kendra, the main character, and Trent, the other main character, basically have the same type of tragedy on the same bridge where Davina realized her fate. And I don't think you're a jerk! I'm looking for real feedback, and if those sentences were confusing, they do need to be rewritten!

    I am not a huge fan of fantasy, but some types I'm attracted to. The idea of crossing souls intrigues me, and that's what this book is about. I will work on a better synopsis when I do more with this novel. I have it on hold right now because I'm still trying to figure out a main conflict and how to develop it.

    Thanks for your review!
     
  8. picklzzz
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    picklzzz Senior Member

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    I thought it was rather short as a back-of-book blurb. I used this synopsis as a guide to my writing, and as a descriptor more than anything. I've changed some things, and I'm not sure how I'm using the cop or nurse yet, or if I am. I have two wonderful scenes though with the cop rescuing her, and he is a good side character. The fiance of Kendra and the wife of Trent are very important to the story as well. I didn't know the word count for back of the book blurbs, but I'll look into that.

    I'm new to this... what's a p/b???
     
  9. AmsterdamAssassin
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    AmsterdamAssassin Contributing Member

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    Interesting, but a back cover blurb is not a synopsis, so it has to leave out more details and give more of an enticing teaser. Like this:

    The biggest snowstorm to hit Detroit in years... Two cars collide on the black ice shrouding Davina's Bridge... History repeats itself as the souls of the drivers merge to relive the tragic events that befell Davina and her lover many years before. While Trent walks away unharmed, his lover Kendra falls into a coma for three weeks. When Kendra awakens, paralyzed from the neck down, she finds herself an observer in Trent’s mind, unable to do anything but watch as he plans the perfect murder.

    Trapped in Trent’s increasing insanity, Kendra must find a way to stop him before he exacts a revenge that will shatter the lives of many.
     
    1 person likes this.
  10. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    p/b = paperback... it's the only kind of book that would have a back cover blurb, as hard covers have it on the front jacket flap, which is why longer ones can work there...
     
  11. psychotick
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    psychotick Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hi,

    I got confused as to who all the players were. Who were the two drivers and who was Davina's lover? I'm guessing that Trent and Kendra are the drivers, but I'm unclear what they have to do with Davina and her lover.

    Sorry if I'm missing something basic.

    Cheers.
     
  12. ScreamsfromtheCrematory
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    ScreamsfromtheCrematory Member

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    It's nice but it feels like it reveals a bit too much of the story, almost reading like a small sparknotes bit. I'd suggest describing things in a way that leaves things more "vague", less so in terms of lacking description and moreso in the sense that the general ideas is communicate in a somewhat more abstract, enticing way. Eg; "A prisoner within her own broken body, viewing the world through the eyes of a mentally deteriorating killer to be, Kendra must use her-" blah blah blah etc etc. And as others have said, throw in a bit of detail as to who these people are - we need a bit more than just names. Maybe a short sentence or two for each about their babckgrounds.
     

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