Recently, I was thinking about videogames based off of literature and I got to thinking: "What if, one day, a videogame company wanted to make a game based off of my Colonial mystery series?" Well, here's the thought. In truth, I don't think most players would enjoy a murder mystery game so, the game would be about his father, Louis Garnier. Heck, that's the title of the game! Louis Garnier with him standing defiant and proud with a musket in his hand. Anyway, the plot is basically this: Louis Garnier is a French soldier fighting in the French-Indian War (1756-1763), but this isn't just a rip-off of Call of Duty, folks. It's basically a game about forbidden love, battle, and how Amos got to the city the mystery series takes place in. Louis fell in love with a Native American woman (And I just spoiled Amos' backstory. I am deeply sorry for that) and wants to keep it secret, because he knows that if the Indians or his own men were to find out, there would be hell to pay. In the meantime, Louis hears rumors that his long-lost uncle has been spotted behind the English line and he wants to investigate. He hopes dearly that the man had not committed treason. As the story goes on, the indians and his officers become more and more suspicious of his behavior. One day, something horrible happens and Louis is forced to flee with his family. The French officers brand him a deserter and has soldiers after him. In effect, he's now a loner fighting for his family against the French, the English, and the indians. But it's all going to go downhill. In a series of horrible events, the family is in ruins and the mother has to flee with her baby to the nearest city. It is here Louis' final mission takes place, where he defends his wife and son as they run for refuge. What happens to them, I will not say. As for the game layout: It'd be Free-Roam, so the player could take Louis wherever the hell they wanted, even to the nearby cities. Enter Louis' home and they'll see Toddler Amos meandering about the home following his mother or doing other toddler-y things. The game isn't open-ended. There are many side-quests Louis can do. Players will be able to do whatever they want. Make Louis their own character. Is he a noble hero or the worst blight the colonies have seen? Characters react depending on what his reputation is like. Crimes he can commit include stealing, robbing, murdering, hijacking horses/carriages and assaulting. Commit a crime and soldiers put a fine on Louis. He can pay them off, face jail time, or have them attempt to shoot him. Louis will be able to loot corpses. He fights wild animals, bandits, indians, and English soldiers. Louis fights with his fists, sword, knife, and musket (with or without bayonet). He can ride horses/carriages (or steal them if you want him to be evil.) Again, Louis is the player's own character, so they can modify his hairstyle and customize his clothes. Want him to run around looking like Jack Sparrow? Go right ahead. Want him to fight bandits in his pajamas (of the time)? Um...you can do that too. Players can save through the start-menu. That's all I've got, but that's basically what I'd do if I ever wanted to do a videogame based off of my book. =D
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/opinion/os-mike-thomas-edwin-arrest-062710-20100626,0,2748890,full.column This link is to a news site about a man being arrested for getting a three-year-old girl off of a busy street. Although the charges were, thankfully dropped, it just sickens me how paranoid we've gotten now about children. Yes, there are bad men out there that really do want to hurt the children, but c'mon, society! Learn to grow some common sense! Oh, and this isn't the first time its happened. I've heard of teachers being fired for hugging their female student (possibly because they were upset or injured and this was a teacher for a very, very early gradeschool). I can only wonder what it was like years before paranoia gripped the country. It's funny how times changed. Had something like this happened just fifty years ago, the witnesses and/or the law enforcers would be praising him as a hero of the hour. Maybe his name is on the front papers "Man saves girl from being struck by car". Now, you can't even look at a kid without risking someone saying you're a pedophile. I mean, god forbids a man decides to have the human decency to run out into busy traffic and get the child out of potential danger. It may have detered some people from helping a child, but if I see a child in the middle of the road and in clear danger, I'm going in there and getting him/her out of it. It's called being a human being with decency.
It's been a while, my dear blog. A long, long while. What was I doing, you ask? #1- Playing "Red Dead Redemption". I won't spoil it for anyone, but if you're able to get M-rated games and have a 360 or a PS3...GET THIS!! You won't regret it. #2- Learning how to drive. #3- Teaching myself pre-Calculus. See, what happened was that I wanted to take it for my last math requirment for my history degree, but due to time constraints and a lousy teacher, I had to drop it and move it to the next semester, so I'm teaching myself this first so I can handle it when the classes begin. That's...all I've been doing, lol. XD But nevertheless, I'm glad it's now summer (It actually began way back on May 5th) and I just feel relaxed and at peace.
This just occured to me after watching some Star Wars the other day. I never understood the Jedi doctrine of “Don’t kill anyone that is unarmed no matter how evil they are!” (See Anakin/Dooku and Mace/Palapatine in Revenge of the Sith) I mean, what if someone, through some miracle, cornered Hitler and was about to kill him for the good of the world and a Jedi Master came? I could see it now: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1940 (Berlin, Germany) (The Assassin, known as Stauffie, smiles with glee. He has trained his whole life for this moment, to kill the most evil man on the planet and stop the atrocities. Finally, here and now, he has the man where he wants him. He knocks the door to Hitler’s private office down.) Stauffie: All right, you puny (bleeep)! I have you right where I want you. You’re cornered with no way out, and I have knocked your bodyguards and other officers into comas. Prepare to die! (Suddenly, a Jedi Master comes) Jedi Master: Nooo! Don’t kill him! Stauffie: Um, yes, I think I should. This guy’s more evil than you know and- Jedi Master: But if you strike him down in anger, you’ll be no better than he is. Stauffie: So, essentially, I have to let him continue his reign of terror all over Europe? Let him initiate a horror that will claim the lives of millions of innocent men, women, and children? Is that what I’m hearing? I should just let him walk rather than ending it all right here and now? Jedi Master: Yes. The Force wills it to be so. Stauffie: Wow. Just…just wow… Adolf Hitler: Hey! It’s good enough for me! Tootles! (Skips merrily away) Stauffie: (To Jedi Master) Some guardian of peace and justice you are… ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eh, it was just an observation. No need for morality debate. It was just an excuse for me to come back. lol
So you will get silly songs and poems! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There was once a boy from Mobile, Who wanted to ride the ferris wheel. He climbed on a ladder with such a clatter, And almost lost his oatmeal! A man in France, Came to dance, In the lord's giant manor. The man, he passed by the parlor, There, he saw by the banner, A cook that lost his manners. The cook lamented, "What to do?" For the dog had eaten the stew! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ OK, that's enough for now.
This is just my rant to the American media as a whole. Please note that it's just a hilarious rant not meant to be taken seriously. :3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear American Media, WHAT THE CRAP!! I just got done watching "The Eleventh Doctor", the first episode of the fifth seasons in the smash hit UK show Doctor Who. I'm instantly in love with this show now and I'm already used to the new Doctor. The biggest thing we have here in this great nation of ours? The land of the Bald Eagle and the Star-Spangled Banner? Sparkly vampires. Go back a few years earlier and it was a boy named Eragon on a dragon in a kinda-sorta ripoff of Lord of the Rings and Star Wars. Read it again, American Media. The BIGGEST thing out there now in the United States is SPARKLY VAMPIRES!! While the UK has Doctor Who. A friggin Timelord that can go through time and space itself. What does Edward Cullen stand against The Doctor? Hell, you can blindfold the doctor and force him to fight Edward Cullen with his bare hands and he'd STILL find a way to kill Cullen in so many ways. (If you wanna get technical about it, the blindfold cannot come off unless someone wins, so there!) Edward Cullen's powers are being a stalker and glowing with light when the sun hits him. "But Link!" you may say, American Media, "We had Harry Potter!" Right, 'cept that was the UK kindly transporting that series across the pond. They didn't have to do that, y'know. >___> I wonder if that's just an act of pity. Their movies are good, their televison shows are good. It's a sign of times if I, an American, have demoted my television to just "BBC America" and "National Geography Wild" where I either watch British folks or animals. Why? Because all the other shows you put out SUCK!! They just...SUCK! Do not get me started on the History Channel or any other channel out there. Oh sure, there are a few gems out there like Food Network, but the rest just suck. Y'know something, American Media? I believe the British have won. After 234 years, they have beaten us. They couldn't take over our country, they couldn't crush our independence even though the second time we kinda brought it on ourselves, but they could hand our arse to us in the media. Well done, UK. Well done. I salute you. ~ Link the Writer
*WWII Air RAid Sirens sounds* Today, I begin a new war. Today, a nation rises up valiantly against the Germans. That war happens...It shall be known as... World War II ~ My Way This war is happening in my WWII scenario in my Civilization IV game. Basically, I've selected a mode that allows me to play the Second World War my way (hence the title), so it doesn't follow any historical events. So I play as the French and have one thing in mind: The Death of Germany and possible World Domination to complete Napoleon's dream. Of course, me being the cheater that I am, I supplied France with bombs and soldiers it never had, like the A-bomb. This blog will document that war for any who is interested in it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4-10-2010 (Fornight, 2, July, 1939 in the game) = War with Germany is declared by France. = France nukes Germany. = French tanks begin their first attack. More to come later. XD
This Easter was the most interesting Easter in my life. It would be the first Easter I spent NOT going to church after I left last September, resigning my position as an usher. Leaving church was the pinnical of what was a slow, gradual withdrawal of myself and God. I didn't feel connected with Him anymore. But this Easter, something happened. This Easter, as I was flipping the channels, I saw a channel where they were having Mass in the Vatican. Deciding that there was nothing else on, I settled down to watch this for a while. After hearing a wonderful Middle-Eastern man's singing voice and a few Bible readings, I thought it'd be cool to take part in it, so I took my bible and tried to follow...only to realize I was reading my EPISCOPALIAN Bible and not the Catholic Bible. I know, how did I miss that? XD Deciding to ignore the channel, I decided to study the little book in my hands and I remembered the old times, when I went to church. I remember how I used to love reading the Exodus and swore one day I'd read Moses' adventure to completion (I thought it was a cool story about an old man performing magic tricks with a staff. Hey, I was little! ) The days of ushering...It all came flowing back to me and suddenly, I felt something in me. It almost felt like a yearning to go back to the old days. I wanted to go back to church, to walk the hallways again. Even now, as I sit in a chair and my bible sits in a shelf across from me, I look at it with a new sense of wonder. If that were not interesting enough, a good friend of mine gave me an Easter present. It was a book called "Letters from a Skeptic" which are letters sent back and forth between a Christian son and a skeptical father. So, what do I make of it? I dunno. It could be possible that for a moment, I felt God telling me to come back. It could also mean that I just got sentimental from holding the bible in my hand. I'm interested in hearing your opinions.
OK, due to a freak computer glitch, I'm forced to delete most of my files (thankfully, not my college notes.) However, I didn't want to lose this forever, so I copied and pasted the rest of the parody play for you to enjoy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ACT I. SCENE III. (It is a dark and stormy night for Rome. Casca wanders in sword drawn and he runs into Cicero.) CASCA For the love of Mars, man! Don’t scare me like that! I nearly killed you! CICERO What’s gotten you in such a bind, brah? CASCA Oh, nothing. It’s just that I’ve seen a slave hold up his left hand which was on fire yet it didn’t burn off, owls were a-hooting during daylight hours and women saw burning men walking around. Oh, and I saw a lion near the Capitol. But other than that, nope, I’ve had just your average day in Rome. CICERO (Shuffles uncomfortably) So, Caesar’s gonna be in the Capitol tomorrow? CASCA Yeah, he wants Antonius to be with him also. CICERO Good night, then. (Cicero leaves. Cassius arrives and sees the shadow of Casca. He calls out.) CASSIUS Who’s there? CASCA A Roman. CASSIUS Oh, that’s a bloody big help. Can you be any less specific than just “A Roman”? How about “A man”. Or better yet? “A human being” so that way I’ve got to guess through all the human beings on the face of the planet! CASCA Okay, okay, whatever. I’m Casca. Happy now? CASSIUS No. CASCA OK. So, why are you here? CASSIUS I’m plotting against Caesar. CASCA Indeed. They say they’re gonna put him on the Kingly Throne™ tomorrow at the Capitol. CASSIUS I know where I’ll be keeping this dagger. (The camera shoots to a close-up shot of his hip as his rain-soaked hand pulls back the cloth, revealing a nasty dagger. As this happens, lightening flashes and thunder rumbles.) ME Blargh! That’s it, end of scene! CASSIUS But I have to- ME Look, I think that up to this point this play has made it so blindingly clear that a three-year-old child can understand it. You want to kill Caesar so you’re rounding up everyone to help you. Now, in the wise words of everyone from Monty Python: “GET ON WITH IT!!!” CASSIUS *sniffs* You’re mean. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ACT II. SCENE I. (Brutus‘ house. Brutus lingers on his balcony, staring with angst out toward Rome.) BRUTUS Hey, I thought you said this play had made it clear what we’re intended to do? ME Yeah, I know, but this is your big decision-making moment. Plus, I love this scene too much to skip it. In fact, I think I’ll hijack the play and turn myself into a servant! =D (Enter me as Lucius) LUCIUS You’ve called, milord? BRUTUS Um…no, I didn’t…(Sees Lucius glaring at him) I mean yes! Yes, I have summoned you! Um…Go get me a taper or whatever it is. When you’ve done that, get me. LUCIUS Certainly, although I don’t see why you can’t do it yourself. You have legs. (Walks off) BRUTUS Lemme see…do I kill my leader or do I not? (Picks up flower and begins to pluck out the pedals) Kill Caesar, or kill him not… (Lucius walks back) LUCIUS I’m back, sir! And while I was doing it, I took the liberty to root through all your private stuff (and steal me some gold along the way), I happened upon a letter I didn’t see before. Here you go. J BRUTUS Okay, thanks. Now off to bed. But wait! Is tomorrow the Ides of March? LUCIUS Now how the heck am I supposed to know? BRUTUS IS NOT TOMORROW THE IDES OF MARCH!? LUCIUS All right, fine! It is! Geez!! (Stomps off) BRUTUS (Sighs) Okay, so lets see what it says here. Ah, yes. Cassius’s writing. CASSIUS WRITING Brutus, here’s the plan. Stab Caesar then apologize to the Senate. BRUTUS … (Lucius comes back) LUCIUS Brutus, I really ought to call the Child Protection Agency on you. When I just opened the door, Cassius was standing there with a group of men I’ve never seen before. Really, is that how you treat a boy? What if those men had kidnapped me and preformed unspeakable acts of horror on me? (Suddenly, Cassius, Casca, Decius Brutus, Cinna Metellus Cimber, and Trebonius enters.) CASSIUS Brutus! I’ve got the men here! Now for what’s probably the sixth time in the play: JOIN US IN THE CONSPIRACY TO KILL JULIUS CAESAR!!! (Suddenly, Brutus‘ wife, Portia comes in.) PORTIA Brutus! Our small servant boy just left! And these men are here! What’s going on? BRUTUS … PORTIA What? ME Want me to tell her, mate? BRUTUS No. PORTIA B-But…Brutus…my love!!! ME All right, I’m on a budget here! Snappity-snap-snap!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ACT II. SCENE IV. (Some Street. Portia chases after Lucius.) (Lucius, exhausted from his journey, slumps down against a wall.) LUCIUS Hey, dude, how did we suddenly jump three acts? ME The other acts were boring. Oh, here comes Portia. (Portia puts a desperate hand on his shoulder.) PORTIA Boy, why are you here and not running to the Senate? LUCIUS Apparently I was thinking about my life before you Romans totally- PORTIA Never mind that. (She hears something.) Wait, do you hear it? LUCIUS I hear nothing. (Enter the Soothsayer who is mumbling to himself) SOOTHSAYER So, if Stalin- PORTIA Who are you and where did you come from? SOOTHSAYER Oh, I was watching a show about Joseph Stalin and trying to figure out how Caesar’s assassination leads to Karl Marx and the rise of Communism and Stalin, because I totally know that’s going to happen. Oh, and Caesar’s gonna die. The cards have shown me this. (Holds up an index card that has a dead stick figure representing Julius Caesar. It‘s in crayon.) PORTIA Oh no! Lucius! Run somewhere!! I will run to my lord! (Runs off) LUCIUS That's it. I'm leaving Rome for good. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ACT 3. SCENE I. (The Senate.) (Caesar enters the Senate Chambers and sees the Soothsayer) CAESAR (Ignoring the odd sight) Well, it’s the Ides of March. What’cha gonna do about it? SOOTHSAYER You speak too soon. CAESAR Um…yeah, sure, whatever. (He lightly skips his way into the Senate.) BRUTUS What did Lena say? CASSIUS That he wishes us luck. I think he’s onto us. BRUTUS Mark him. (Cassius holds up a red permanent marker) CASSIUS Already did so. (Indeed. Popilius Lena has a big red circle mark on his cheek.) BRUTUS I will not ask how and why you did that. (They enter and everyone sits. The Senate begins!!) CAESAR Okay, who wants to speak first? (Metellus Cimber steps up) METELLUS CIMBER Sir, I wish to appeal for the release and freedom of my dearly beloved brother, Publius. CAESAR Yeah, not happening. BRUTUS Caesar, please! CAESAR Look, I could give a withered crap about Metellus’ brother. Really. My word is law. I’m king. After all, I’m the best. Now, bring hither the crown! CASCA Oh, that! IS! IT!!! (They stab him to death) CAESAR (Through the pain and blood in his mouth) (Beep) YOU!! BRUTUS Hang on, wasn’t it supposed to be “Et tu, Brute”? ME If you’re being stabbed to death, you really don’t have time for poetry. (Caesar dies a slow, dramatic way. After all, this is the death of a leader, so it has to be slow, dramatic, Lord of the Rings like. Cue the song that plays in the very beginning of the first movie as Caesar‘s bloodied body falls down. After a while, the drum beats that represent Caesar’s heart stops. Everyone stares, including the blood covered conspirators.) CASSIUS So… BRUTUS Um… SOME GUY IN THE SENATE Did you guys seriously not think past stabbing the leader to a bloody death? BRUTUS Pretty much. SERVANT Hey, Mark Antony is here! BRUTUS OK. (Mark Antony arrives to see the bloodied Julius Caesar dead on the ground with the bloodied conspirators above him. Only a three-year-old child would not solve this crime.) MARK ANTONY Everyone who cares to listen! Brutus has told you Caesar was ambitious, had he not? Well, if Caesar was ambitious as Brutus said and we all know Brutus is an honorable man, then why did Caesar thrice refuse the crown I gave him yesterday, bring the captives home, cried for the poor, and take care of debts? BRUTUS Methinks we are screwed. CASCA Um…OBJECTION!!! BRUTUS Dude, we’re so freaking screwed right now it’s not even funny. CASSIUS Let’s scram! (They do so) ANOTHER GUY IN THE SENATE Um, why did you let them go? MARK ANTONY Because I must face the conspirators in battle! Besides, we’ve got one more scene in this act, three scenes in Act 4 and five scenes in Act 5 before the end of the play. ANOTHER GUY IN THE SENATE Or you can just kill them now and get it over with? MARK ANTONY Now you’re talking! (He suddenly swipes the crown from a nearby shelf and places it on his head. He jumps on his horse. He charges with triumph out of the Senate with dramatic music playing. Girls faint. Boys simply hang their jaws in disbelief as this Chuck Norris of Ancient Rome waves his sword in the air after the fleeing conspirators. The battle is so great that it doesn‘t make it pass the budget. Plus, it‘s gory and gruesome, so you get a picture of a cute widdle puppy amidst its sibs in a puppy bed instead.) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ACT 4. SCENE I. (My scene) (It‘s four years after all that stuff happened. Antony is now Octavian, the first Emperor of Rome. He sits on his throne eating grapes.) SOOTHSAYER (V.O.) And this empire shall last from 44 B.C. to 476 A.D. The empire shall cover a vast area, from the British Isles, Spain, to the Middle East, and the top of Africa. Unfortunately, Adolf Hitler will use this empire as a basis for his Third Reich in the 1940s. Even the Roman Salute will be transformed to the Nazi salute. Well, salutations! (Le Fin!) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There we are! The rest of the play. Hope you enjoy it.
I had considered posting it in the "Humor" section of the Short Stories, but I realized that since the paradoy is so long and I'm not looking for a critique, I elected to post it here in my blog. Let the games begin! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A/N: Welcome to the first ever parody, done by yours truly…ME. Today, we will parody William Shakespeare’s The Tragedy of Julius Caesar. Enjoy and know that I own your soul. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ACT I. SCENE I. (Scene I. Rome, a street.) (We see two guys, Flavius and Marullus walking down this street all pissed off.) FLAVIUS Go home! Go home, for the love of Jupiter!!! Why are you commoners wandering around like a bunch of brain-dead zombies!? You! Random commoner! Get over here so I can sneer at you and demand you to tell me what your job is! GUY I’m a carpenter by trade, sir. I fix and build furniture. FLAVIUS Why, then, are you walking around not in your leather apron and building furniture?! You suck! Hey, you! Other guy! WTF do you do for a living? GUY #2 I’m a workman? FLAVIUS Don’t be a smartass! Tell me IMMEDIATELY!!! GUY #2 Woah, easy there. Want help removing that stick from your ass? I’m a shoemaker and yes, I am handy with an awl, thought I wanted to mention it so you’d know I’m quite deadly with it. Anyways, I- FLAVIUS THEN WHY ARE YOU NOT WORKING!?!?!?!?! (Stomps foot) SHOEMAKER (Backing away from this lunatic, holding his hands out in a ‘please stay away’ motion) Because Caesar is home, triumphed from battle. (At this, Flavius and Marullus are shocked. Caesar won? Their face twist in a contortion of rage and mental anguish. Their limbs and lower lips tremble like that of a small child. Marullus advances, barely keeping in the tears.) MARULLUS H-He won?! Our hated enemy won a battle!? You…(He shakes his fists) You blocks, you stones, you WORST THAN SENSELESS THINGS!! (Children giggle in the background) Why can I not curse? ME Dude, this is rated PG, not R. Chop-chop! (Marullus glares at me with his tear-stained, pig-faced eyes.) FLAVIUS It’s no matter, Marullus. Let’s knock over this Caesar statue here (does so), and carry our pathetic pity-potties elsewhere. (They leave) SHOEMAKER WTF was that all about? ME Don’t ask me, mate. I didn’t write this play. Continue with the next scene! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ACT I. SCENE II. (A Public Place) (We see Julius Caesar accompanied by his wife Calpurnia, the sex god general Mark Antony, a soothsayer decked out in robes, and Brutus, Casca, Cassius and Cicero in the huge ass crowd. Portia and Decius Brutus are also present too. Caesar raises his arm and opens his mouth.) CASCA Everyone, shut up! Caesar is about to speak! CAESAR Calpurnia, lovvie!!! CALPURNIA Yes? CAESAR Go stand in Mark Antony’s way as he prepares to run the course! (Calpurnia tilts her head and her face registers concern, but she complies anyway. Antony is shirtless like the other runners who are all doing pushups under the watchful eye of a overweight, aging general with a huge scar running across his eye and down his mouth.) CAESAR Antonius! (Antony immediately jumps onto his feet. The sunlight strikes his sweat-covered six-packs, making them glimmer almost. The song Too Sexy For My Shirt plays out and we hear the “Aaahs“ as a few teenaged Roman girls collapse in a dead faint in awe of his utter sexiness. And no, I‘m not going gay for Antony.) ANTONY (Looking warily at the fainted girls) My Lord? CAESAR Yah, before you start running, touch my wife. She’ll take away any curse. ANTONY Um, sure, sir. (He lightly taps Calpurnia on the shoulder. She immediately shrieks and withdraws. Antony is sad. Upbeat patriotic Roman music plays.) CAESAR Okay, time to start. Ciao! (The crowd is clapping and fainting as Antony and the other racers we don‘t care about takes their position. Caesar and the flustered Calpurnia ride in their little chariot a ways away until the Soothsayer appears!) SOOTHSAYER (With a wavering voice) CAESAR!!!! (Everyone stops in their tracks. Caesar looks around.) CAESAR Who calls? CASCA *sighs* All right, people! Let’s all be quiet now! Shut up! CAESAR Okay, now I know I heard someone yell out my name. Come out! Come out! SOOTHSAYER BEEWAAAAAARE THE IIIIIDES OF MAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRCCCHH!!! CAESAR Sunofa…okay, what did that guy just say, Brutus? BRUTUS It’s a soothsayer telling you to beware the Ides of March. CAESAR Bring him forward! (Roman guards appear) CAESAR As much as I love to see you guys throw hapless people at my feet, not this time. Cassius, please fetch for him. CASSIUS (Spots a guy in robes and drags him to Caesar) CAESAR Okay, wise guy. What did you say? SOOTHSAYER (Hesitates) BEEWAAAAAARE THE IIIIIDES OF MAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRCCCHH!!! (Everyone presents roll their eyes) CAESAR Just your usual lunatic ranting about the end of the world. Let’s go! (They leave him) SOOTHSAYER Damn, this is going to really screw things up!! (Takes out pictures he drew in crayon. They are of: Napoleon Bonaparte, The Titanic sinking, Adolf Hitler, JFK‘s assassination, The Roswell Incident of 1947, Pearl Harbor, and of course, December 21, 2012.) His death will directly cause these to happen!! Oh, I must not let them happen! Be still, my heart! (Runs off) (We now pan our camera to Brutus and Cassius, who snuck behind a pot-making shop to dodge everyone.) CASSIUS M’kay, you gonna go see the course? BRUTUS No. CASSISUS Why not? BRUTUS I hate games. I loose a lot of money there. (FLASHBACK) ANNOUNCER And Salvinus wins again!! HOORAY!! GUY NEXT TO BRUTUS Ha! You owe me 23 gp, buddy! (Thumps him on shoulder) BRUTUS (Dejected) My money…my hard-earned money… :*( (PRESENT DAY) CASSIUS M’kay, well, let me ask you something. Can you see your face? BRUTUS Now that’s a ridiculous question. See my face? I’m not blind! CASSIUS No, no. I mean your metaphorical face. The face that- (They hear a lot of shouting) BRUTUS What are they shouting about? Caesar? I have to be honest with you, Cassius, I’m worried. The people want him to be their king. CASSIUS Ah, so you fear it! BRUTUS I have my doubts. Don’t get me wrong, I love the man- ME Heh. Hee-hee! BRUTUS NOT THAT WAY, YOU NINE-YEAR-OLD CHILD!!! ME Okay, okay. Heh. I’ll stop. (Inserts witty Brokeback Mountain joke) BRUTUS There is no way you’re twenty-one. No possible way. CASSIUS Ooooookay, let me guide the story back to its proper position by saying thusly: I’m tired of Caesar. Dead stinkin’ tired of him. He’s a military genius. Cool. He wants to rule as the leader of the Roman Republic, aight, but this!? He wishes to proclaim himself KING Caesar of Rome. KING!! This is madness! ME This. Is. Sp- (More shouting is heard. Brutus silently thanks Jupiter.) BRUTUS They sound like applause, don’t they, Cassius? CASSIUS HA! He means to crown himself. ME Okay, guys. I would love to keep things going, but I’ve made it very much clear here that Cassius doesn’t like Caesar and Brutus is doubtful. BRUTUS But what of the exposition? The character- ME Oh, fine! Cassius thanks you for listening to his ramble about how Caesar’s the anti-Christ of Rome and bids you farewell because Caesar’s back! BRUTUS Excellent! ME Oh, and Casca is made to speak to you. He mentions that Antony gave Caesar the crown THREE times, but Caesar refused on grounds of which it is not clear, but I theorize Caesar was trying to make a point for the people, like he was all “No! I will not accept this crown though beautiful it is and how sexy it’d look on my head!” BRUTUS He said those words exactly? ME Well, not exactly. OH, and he had a lot of fainting spells too, so yeah. Not exactly a good day for him. Casca leaves and Cassius basically says, “Think on what you‘ve just witnessed!” So now it’s time for you to ANGST!!! BRUTUS I hate you sometimes, you know that? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, here are the first two scenes. More hilarity to come later. Come, come, comment on how you thought of it.
No, it's not "completed a book", although I wish it was. No, I've finally saved my own kingdom in "Medieval II: Total War". First, the backstory. I played the English and took over Scotland to unite the land. All well and good, no? I decide to take my little royal self to a small, remote island down in the Med. sea and take over an island to begin my word domination. At the same time, however, France was getting its butt throughoughly kicked by Spain. The French territories dwindled down to one puny island just north of mine. Well, in an act of what I thought was compassion, but was really stupidity...I surrendered the entire English mainland to France. Yes, you read that right, folks. I gave England to France so now France had a bigger territory while I only had one small island. Thinking I had done the right thing, I closed the game. Weeks later, I reloaded it and was appalled at my decision. I knew there was only one thing to do: Fight France for my land again. I put my king, his family, and the army on the boats bound for my poor, currently-occupied-by-France homeland. I managed to retake Ireland, then the northern half of England when I ran into trouble again. Apparently, the game also requires that your cities have governors to rule each city and I had hardly enough. Plus, France was a bit ticked off at my "betrayal" and enmassed her forces on me. Battle after battle ended in horrible defeat and, in an act of desperation, I boarded the king, his family, and the army to send them BACK to that remote island (that was now held by the rebels) and began a hopeless endevor to beg France for her forgiveness. France hated me at this point. Hated me SO much that she siced her entire FRICKIN' NAVY at me. Result? Every. Last. Ship. SUNK!! King? Dead. Army? Obliterated. If this were real life, this would be the naval tragedy to end all naval tragedies. Nay, even the Titanic sinking would look like nothing compared to that. So, how on earth did I survive? Well, thankfully, I still had a small band of soldiers in the mainland. With nothing to lose, I gathered every single one of them and attacked. Miraciously, they managed to take over all the cities and England was wholly mine again. Even more miraciously, the game gave me new governors, of which I dispatched immediatly to as much towns as possible. And, that's where I am now. Slowly rebuilding everthing, got a new king and heir (former heir was on the land, thank god). Still at war with France, though, but at least she's not marching on the mainland, and I think I can still reason with her. Well, it really taught me a lesson here. It's tough to be a ruler, and that's why I'm glad I'm not one.
After reading a news story about a fourth-grader getting into trouble for bringing in a LEGO gun (http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/35234742/ns/today-today_people/?ns=today-today_people), I thought to myself, "Just to spite those teachers and everyone like them, I'm gonna become a fourth-grade teacher and when I teach the students history, I'm gonna use Legos whenever I want to demonstrate something, like how WWI broke out. And yes, my LEGO men will be armed with their little LEGO weapons that cannot possibly harm anyone unless they swallowed them." Then inspiration struck me. Instead of having to wait years to become a teacher, why not I do a webcomic involving legos? Better yet, a webcomic about history involving legos! That, I can do right now, but some problems: 1) Wouldn't it be a sign of mental issues if I, a 20-year-old man, started to collect legos again? I know, there are many webcomics like "Irregular Webcomic" that utilizes legos and their creators are well into their 20s and 30s. 2) Who's really gonna learn? How would I get it across? To most people, history's boring enough. Having to read it in comic form using one of the most cherished toys of all times might be horrible. 3) I'm lazy and procrastinate, so somehow, I do not see myself getting enough legos to reconstruct Independence Hall in the future. XD Ah, well, one can dream, eh?
Well, I am officially back for the second part of my sophmore year in my University. I don't live in the university, though. I'm taking: History of Western Civilization II History of Latin America Geography 102 British Lit. II Being a history nut and a History/English major, and the fact that I love Geography with a passion, it's like I'm in heaven. It's strange, really. We're beginning the Geography course talking about the inside of the Earth and rocks. This is really showing me how little my science teachers of my elementary school days had taught me. Either that or I didn't pay attention, which is very possible. I just never understood the idea of rocks and minerals and the different types. All I got out of the elementary school science classes was that the Earth had four parts and everything below the crust was lava and very, very, hot. I think I may end up becoming a Geography professor one day.
*Inhales a lot of air* Aaah, I love the smell of Christmas in the morning. Awake at 4:38 in the morning, next to a christmas tree with lights. All that's missing is presents under it and a fire in the fireplace. (I don't have a fireplace) It just really makes one reflect on everything that's happened in the past year. Things like: 1) I registered on this wonderful fourum and met new friends like Lydia and Cogito and everyone else. 2) Nearly lost my dog due to back injuries. 3) Nearly flunked Geography 101, but I passed miraciously with a "B" while my Asian Civ. had to endure a "C". 4) Broke the 1,000-word milestone with my writing and proved to myself that yes, I can write a chapter. 5) Got into two mystery books set in Ancient Rome and Egypt. It also makes me think of what's to come next year. What challenges or triumphs will I face? Although Christmas is about family gathering, it is also about reminicing the events of the past year and looking forward to the next. So Merry Christmas and have a happy 2010!!
OK, first a confession: I'm not a big movie goer, so I may not be able to post movie reviews for hot movies that just came out. Knowing me, I'll find a movie that's came out years ago that hardly everyone's heard about. But don't worry, there will be some movies I'll review that came out recently. If anything else, I'm showing you a movie you could watch if you were bored, or a movie to avoid. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ OK, so here's the plot: It's set in Feudal Japan around, I don't know, but it's got the samurais. The version I watched is the original Japanese version with the English subtitles. Anyways, the plot revolves around this small Japanese town that's being harrassed by a gang of thugs until a blind "messer", a former Samurai comes tapping in with a cane that's really his sword. (He's disguising it in a case thingy) Although the movie is from 2003, the picture makes looks like it was made in the 1970s, probably paying homage to the big Japanese movies that came out back then. The comedy level here is great. Multiple times, I've let out a chuckle as I watched it on Youtube, attracting weird "wtf?" looks from those around me. They're not grandeous, obvious, "You should be laughing now" scenes. They're more subtle. The effects of blood is mostly for humor, but it's not to the style of 300. I mean, it doesn't look fake, nor do we see a scene where a guy's missing a limb and blood keeps pouring out ala The Black Knight from Monty Python. The mystery here is also intriguing. Not only is Zatoichi beating up thugs, he's also helping two girls get revenge for either a murder or insult done to their father. The biggest comedy gold I find is in the end when the village appears on a stage and begins to do a dance sequence. (Zatoichi, however, does not appear) Not only do I think, "Wow, it's like 1970s pop meeting Feudal Japan", I found it totally ironic, as I'll show here in a picture: WARNING: It has some spoilers. Spoiler I give this a good rating of...7-8.5/10!