I've have been disgustingly ill for 13 days now, and have spent the majority of that in bed. I still feel very weak and dizzy, but I think the antibiotics are finally starting to work so I'm back on the site for the first time in over a week.
Did a fair bit of writing this morning, which was a bit of a surprise. Well, sort of. Am I the only person in the world whose writing binges coincide with various stages of my menstrual cycle, lol?
Unfortunately, the thing I was writing earlier is yet another new story. I really want to just focus on one story and get the thing finished. I think that would be immensely satisfying, of course, but also very good for my health. I have so many stories stored in my brain and although theoretically we have unlimited space up there, I don't fell like I do. Honestly, I can choose any story from my collection and know exactly where I'm up to, even what the next sentence is going to be, just like I pressed 'Pause' only five minutes ago. Considering I have over 20 stories on the go now, that doesn't leave a lot of room for things like remembering what I wanted from the fridge, or what was on the shopping list that I left at home because by brain's too clogged to remember the list I need to remember what we need, if you get my drift.
I'm like one of those compulsive hoarders you see on television. Their house is so full of crap that there's not even any room in there for the hoarder, and they have to move into a caravan in the driveway, which can't be moved because the driveway is full of crap too. That's my brain. And if I can just get one of these stories out of there, if I can finish it and free up a little bit of space, I think that will act like a bit of a catalyst. Suddenly I'll have room to move. I'll be able to look at everything stashed in there a bit better, figure out what I need and what I don't. I'll be able to throw out some of the rubbish and dust off some of the more useful things (like my memory) and start using them again.
Okay, I'm going to go into the forum somewhere right now and set up a vote or something. Can you set up polls here?? Off I go.
I hope this blog isn't supposed to relate only to writing. My poor little brain is too broken to write anything of any worth right now, and I need to concentrate on getting it working again.
I have bipolar disorder, am unmedicated since February (side-effects of medications soooo bad), and was actually doing quite well until 2 1/2 weeks ago. School holidays. Kids home all day every day. My brain couldn't cope, so I began a rapid slide down into depression. Nothing unusual there :redface:
My coping method this time seems to have been to consume vast quantities of sugar (I'm a sugar addict, recently diagnosed, never actually believed it was a real thing until now!) - not smart at the best of times, but I'm also hypoglycemic. So, my blood sugar has been all over the place, meaning my mood has been all over the place (mostly down). This afternoon after I picked up the kids from school I went to the supermarket and bought eight cupcakes and five packets of sweet biscuits. So far I've eaten one cupcake and four biscuits. Am planning on throwing the rest of the cupcakes away when the kids go to bed. The biscuits can be shared among family and friends.
I waste a lot of money that way; buying things because of a craving, then feeling guilty and tossing them in the bin.
This huge influx of sugar has done other damage, too. I have a systemic candida problem (because of sugar) that attacks random places around my body. A few days I had massive ear infections developing in both ears but managed to fight those off by putting peroxide in them. The infections are receding now, but are being replaced by thrush. I'd rather have ear infections. So I'm now dosing up on probiotics to see if I can stop that from developing too far.
Must stop eating sugar. I bought a book by an excellent health author a couple of weeks ago on beating sugar addiction, so I really REALLY have to start reading it. Of course, my brain craves the sugar so it's going to fight me on this one, isn't it?
Ah, the kids are hopping out of the tub now, so I have to go.
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