For the last few weeks, I've been carefully avoiding the group of people I used to hang out with so I wouldn't have to hear the terrible and spirit-breaking comments that like to make behind my back while I'm in earshot. I've become best friends with the girl who I have religiously hated and she couldn't stand me. I only have three friends right now, but I am having the best time I've ever had in High School. I'm always smiling now and in a good mood, I'm rarely tiredor grumpy, i have [hardly] anything to complain about...and I'm just an overall better person. I guess it just a lesson learned that your true friends can seriously make you a better person. Chliche, I know, but i don't care
For about 8 months I've had this hoorible back problems. I've been to 3 different doctors, countless chiropractic appointments, had an MRI, and dozens x-rays. Just the other day we went to an awsome doctor who finally told me what is wrong.
My lowest disc is almost herniated, the one above it is buldging, and the next two are dehydrated. When the doctor told me that I cried in the office, my mom cried too. Because of it I am not allowed to play majority of sports, only swimming and a little bit of soccer.
I'm a runner not a swimmer
But sports is my life and I can't do it anymore unless I want screws and bolts in my spine. And thats not what i want, so that means I have to become inactive and watch from the sidelines.
Today was my last rec soccer game. I had to quit so I would be able to try out for my high school team this year. I'm angry that I am hurting myself by doing the things that I love, and I've been taking it out on my family and my boyfriend. They don't deserve that.
When track season comes along I am not allowed to play because the discus and shot would completely destroy my discs. I;m not looking forward to just watching my teammates able to compete while I offer my help and criticism because I was on varsity.
Sometimes life really sucks. But this is a time to turn lemons into lemonade and just keep living.
Rain, rain go away! But it gives me an excuse to stay next to some guys
My guy friend and I were talking during my TA period. He isn't usually the first person I go running to when I have something important to talk about, but all the other friends I know cannot keep something to themselves, but when we talk he keeps it to himself. BUT he was there to listen to my guy issuse I've been having lately and we've decieded that my boyfriend is going to break up with me once I tell him that I cheated on him with 2 different guys, so why not make it a worth while break up and have some fun with this? It was his idea for 5 guys, but I refuse to be that slutty, so I'm sticky with an even number of 3 "incidents" instead of 2.
He and I surprisingly bonded over this whole thing and he never once hitted on me. He is one of the mesealy few that don't. And even though I told him that I'm basically a slut, he never judged me for it. I think I just found a new great friend because I had to tell someone about the guy from yesterday. Who knew cheating could lead to better friends?
This whole cheating stuff isn't good for my relationship with my boyfriend now or any of my future relationships, but for once it's brough my sister and I closer ever since the divorce. We talk about each of the guys, who's a better kisser (fyi its not my boyfriend), why I'm doing this and overall how my sister thinks I am going to hell for the things I've done. I'm not proud of what I'm doing but I'm a teenager I should be able to have fun and not be stuck to one guy for the rest of the year, but at least one positive thing has come out of it...
Tomorrow is field trip day to the San Diego Zoo for my AP Enviornmental class and I'm pleased to say I'm pretty stoked. Not only do I get to skip the day's classes and the no electronics policy does not apply, but I get to be partnered with the guy in my class I've been crushing on since freshman year!! And my two girls are going to be there too which makes this trip that much better.
Then it'll be Friday!! And the homecoming game will be amazing and the next day we have homecoming!!! And hopefully I'll be able to get my car back from the mechanic in the next few days.
Wish for no rain for me please!
So today was pretty chill except for the rain and how cold it was...but I once again proved how much of a horrible girlfriend I am because I once again cheated on my amazing boyfriend.
It's my fault too. I egg the guys on challenging their ego and pride so they kiss me and make out with me so I can find someway to justify what I am doing. I know what I'm doing is wrong and I shouldn't be doing this to him...
I do need to break up with my boyfriend, but I'm afraid that once I do the guys won't want to try to get with me. I think they'll just lose intrest...But I don't want to hurt my boyfriend.
When I cheat on my boyfriend I do it for the attention and I know thats not a good reason to justify it and I know that if I kiss my boyfriend and feel nothing and kiss all these other guys and feel something there is a problem. I feel bad leading my boyfriend on, but I want a nice guy like the one I have...just a different nice guy.
P.S. Let's hope I don't cheat on him with a third guy...I'll keep it posted!!
This week at school is offically going down the tube and a big fat waste of my time.
I'm in one of those modes where all i can think about is writing and editing and trying to finish the novel I'm working on so it can be sent off to the publishers. So i have been skimping on my AP English class and i might make my grade drop before progress reports come out in a week. It would help if i could just drain that energy into my computer and move on to my school work, but then i find other ways to distract myself so it ends up being late and I haven't finished my homework or have even starting writing.
Plus the fact that i am balancing another AP class and five other regular high school classes AND dealing with drama that is revolving around some big football bully trying to get back together with my friend and trying to fight me. Me a girl trying to fight a football player? Not happening.
Oh the joys of being a teenager :redface:[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]
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