I have a blog out there on the wide, vast, interwebs, and I never update it but I figure if I post them here, I may feel pressured to actually do something with it x: On my actual blog I have picture and captions to emphasize my ranting but I know you guys have such good imaginations so you'll be okay ^^
My name is Shannon, and I suppose I should fill you all in on who I am. You and I are going to go on a journey of sorts, it’s my journey of course but I'm totally willing to have a few interlopers.
Let’s start somewhere resembling the beginning of me; I guess a good start is to somewhat explain my family and home-life. I was (am being) raised in a very small town in good ol’ VA by two wonderful people whom I am lucky to share blood and genes with. My mother Katy was and is probably my biggest influence in life and was a consistently great mother my whole childhood; my Father hadn’t become a prominent role-model for me till later in my life, after my parents’ divorce, but I always respected him as a phenomenal provider. Now, getting back to my childhood; it was enjoyable for me, but far from ideal or “normal” (whatever the hell that means).
I lived in a pretty dinky trailer off in the woods surrounded by my family. Now the family part sounds pretty good, no? Well normally for a child having your aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents around would probably be a positive thing but when you have a family as completely wrecked as mine; it isn’t necessarily a positive thing. Between the drugs and alcohol (and I suspect incest and excess amounts of molestation), family ties are sometimes better to be broken. Not saying that they’re all bad, but there is enough spread around to give the whole family tree that tree-cancer crap.
Anyway, back on track. I have two older brothers, both of which are completely amazing, and both of which I really look up too. Both of which I am consistently being put down by. It’s no real fault of theirs, the complex lies in me, but I am unable to please the two most important people in my life. Sound familiar? After my parents’ divorce (I believe I was around ten) my brothers more or less began raising me, though only due to my refusal of my grandmothers help and my parents need to piece themselves back together.
Now this is an important thing to explain. Most things I’m skimming over due to laziness and their consequentially un-importance but this, this is very much worth explaining.
Most people blame everything that’s ever been wrong with themselves or their life on the splitting of their parents. Sure, it’s a painful thing to have happen and its always unfair to any kids involved but my parents’ divorce is the single most wonderful thing that may have ever happened to me yet. Because my parents divorced each other I have been able to know them on a level unachievable to most kids. For a lot of people they don’t start really learning about their parents until they are grown and most of the time still hardly really know their parents until its too late. I get to actually be friends with my folks and through getting to really know them, I’ve been able to learn to respect them, to understand and appreciate their struggles in life and I think through that, they have become better parents standing alone then they could have been together and also, I and my brothers have grown to be stronger, better people. In turn, life has allowed me to go through something pretty lousy and come out completely better in the end. So yes, divorce happened and I’m thankful for it.
Now that that’s out of the way I suppose I could roll on over some other details. I’m an old soul so to speak. I’m just seventeen but when I lie my head down at night and open my eyes in the morning, I feel at least on the darker side of forty. I am cynical and elitist and for some reason the powers that be allowed me to be hopelessly romantic. I have a failure complex and low self-esteem; I hate myself most of the time but always hate others more and seem to only get along with the people no one likes.
With all that said, I am a good person though. I can see things in people that others can’t or they refuse to see in themselves, I have ferocious belief in people and I have a genuine god given love for the world and its inhabitants as a whole, it’s just not so evident given my rough nature.
There is much more of my life to be discussed but I believe everything needed to be known will come up upon its relevance with each post.
My big hope is that through stories of my day to day (or however often I post) life and examples of my past histories with my family and friends and even my own strange self will help all you generous readers out there. It is my life goal to counsel others to begin with.
So if you read this and feel an inkling of familiarity, stick around, this may be a helpful place for you.
Happiness felt years ago
Reminding me of joys once known
Every moment brings me home
-when you speak I come undone
When you laugh, my blood slows
Hum and my heart keeps its beat
Say "Goodnight" and I do
These are sincerest feelings
As best as I can describe them
- when I hear your laugh, I almost faint
speak and I come un-glued
as you breathe I sink into its melody
And when you say "Sweet dreams" I do
I think only of you as I stare at the moon
Beautiful that you see it too
How I hope to feel you here soon
-laugh and feathers tease my stomach
As you speak I melt into it
you breath, I grin so silly
That when you say "Take care" I do
At night staring at the vacuous ceiling
My mind filling in blanks as I talk to you
I don't know how I've been living till now
Without this joy you bring
You need to know you’re the reason my heart sings
If you never laughed, I think my heart would break
Keep silent, and it would be too much to take
If you died, I surely would too
Say "Goodbye" and I couldn't live without you
Thanks to you guys who helped critique my original work.
I don't know if anyone cares or not buuuut I'm procrastinating and I figure my first blog would be a good. . . procrastinator-esque thing to do. I also figure my first blog should be a kind of inside look into who and what I am.
Oh yay for you, you get to read a survey I found and know all about my self-loathing.
Name: Leslie, Shannon Leslie.
Birthday: Sept. 30th, Libra babeh!
Birthplace: Richmond VA loves.
Current Location: Farmvegas!
Eye Color: Grey/blue and sometimes Green.
Hair Color: RED. red in all shades and colours, all natural too, its like a blessing and a curse, on the plus side, I get lots of attention and then I get lots of attention, therefore its hard to get way with stuff.
Height: 5 and some change. im pretty much average there. no where else though ;p -- wait, is that awkward?
Right Handed or Left Handed: im a righty.
Your Heritage: yikes. well, mostly Scotch/Irish, some hungarian, whelsh, cherokee indian (wouldn't think it would ya?), and i've heard french canadian and german too but im not sure if I want to believe that
The Shoes You Wore Today: I wore my lil black flats and I did prance around in my hot pink pumps some as well 33 Oh shoooeesss!!!!
Your Weakness: I am magnificant, I have no weakness.
Your Fears: BEETLES. oh and clowns. heights too kinda.. and lots of other stuff!
Your Perfect Pizza: extra cheese, black olives and green peppers ^^
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: To find someone who completes me. I'm terribly lonely.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: i dunno. i dont use AIM so much anymore. I'm becoming an MSN whore.
Thoughts First Waking Up: ....that was a dream???? D:
Your Best Physical Feature: I dunno. I have really nice legs. alot of poeple like my hair and eyes, and uh, *ahem* other things that need no explanation. I personally like my nose.
Your Bedtime: man, I am so tired all the time. every time is my bed-time as far as im concerned.
Your Most Missed Memory: me jordie and alicia stayin up playing FFCC and drinkin' Ice tea ^^
Pepsi or Coke: I like both but just to represent, COKE! the soda of harry dresden
MacDonalds or Burger King: lol, BK! the burger place of Harry Dresden
Single or Group Dates: Id just like A date in general.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: arizona green tea!
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee, be forreal.
Do you Smoke: nope.
Do you Swear: ah, i do i do. I try not to though, I think it makes girls come off as cheap when they curse alot, so I try not to.
Do you Sing: ahhha, yeah, not well mind you, but that doesnt stop me. ^^ I polute EVERYONES air-space. or as kaitlin would say, "ear rape"
Do you Shower Daily: mhm
Have you Been in Love: thats the fourty-five billion question, aint it? I think I have, well I KNOW I have a long time ago, and im pretty sure I was in love with my ex, I may still be, I hope not though, cause that would make the whole him in love with someone else much harder than it needs to be.
Do you want to go to College: I do, not to learn mind you ;p
Do you want to get Married: I would like too, i really would. but I don't think I ever will.
Do you belive in yourself: not particularly, I know myself, and I know i'm one of the best friends and lovers anyone could get, I just don't know how to aply myself correctly.
Do you get Motion Sickness: nope.
Do you think you are Attractive: meh. I think poeple think i'm more attractive than I really am.
Are you a Health Freak: not. at. all.
Do you get along with your Parents: more or less. less at times
Do you like Thunderstorms: LOVE thunderstorms
Do you play an Instrument: air guitar and didgeridoo. lolz
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: nope, I have no desire to hear about my actions from 479 different people and not be able to remember any of it. again.
In the past month have you Smoked: nope, I rather not have my face turn to leather and my voice sound like a cat being thrown into a wood chipper. Though I find poeple who smoke attractive. . . I have problems.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Oh so many pills! lovely lovely pills!
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Whats that?
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: o: I have. I't wasn't so fun actually, seeing as i'm broke.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Like I can afford to do that =/
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: I wish
In the past month have you been on Stage: nope.
In the past month have you been Dumped: ^^ Nah. I haven't even had the chance to GET dumped.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: I was in one of those moods last night....
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Nah, don't need to.
Ever been Drunk: good lord yes.
Ever been called a Tease: all the time ;p
Ever been Beaten up: HA. as if.
Ever Shoplifted: don't need to.
How do you want to Die: well that was a quick step to the morbid I either want to go out in a blaze of gore and blood or peacfully. lol, nothing in-between
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: an ooomploompa biotch.
What country would you most like to Visit: ireland ofcourse!
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: I like em all.
Favourite Hair Color: I really really like brown and black, brown the most though. not that dirty blonde jank either! You all know who you are. . .
Short or Long Hair: depends on who it's on ya know? but I like it long ^^
Height: taller than me
Weight: I don't really care, as long as their healthy ya know?
Best Clothing Style: lol, as long as they're not "5 popped collars cool" than I don't care. oh, and plz to have no boxers showing kthxbai
Number of Drugs I have taken: 1? XD hardcore right here baby. Not including pills ofcourse. . .
Number of CDs I own: 8765437654578765478658567897654567865678
Number of Piercings: zaher-a-oh I like it on guys, but I don't like holes being made in my body that arent supposed to be there.
Number of Tattoos: none. blach. have fun with that sexy tattoo when you get to be 45 and flabby babe. know what im saying?
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Regrets are a hobby of mine, love.
Separate names with a comma.