Before I start pointing the finger, I need to have a searching look at the man in the mirror. If I really examine some of my past conversations, I have been guilty of pretending I sympathised with someone. "Yeah I know how you feel Rodney" (no you don't Paper, you don't have a clue, so stop paying lip service, better to say nothing) Or better to say "Ive never really been in your situation so its hard for me to imagine what it must be like." Fake empathy is very common among do gooder Christians. A Christian might heed the call to their duty to "love their neighbour". So they reach out to people who seem either depressed or in need of counselling. So they are more focussed on winning favor with God, than actually helping the person. The Christian here aims to feel better about himself not make his neighbour feel better. This is where people without an agenda, just an instinct for helping their fellow man, would be more effective. And have more humility too. I try to be aware of this myself. Because it is so easy to come across as a fake Christian and people to get turned off Christianity altogether. Just be human. Don't get too esoteric or holy. We're all in the dark to some extent. None of us knows for sure who Jesus Christ or God really is. But you try to tell that to some dogmatic Christians. They are so obnoxiously sure of themselves!
This is my first blog entry using a phone. Already i feel in a rush to finish. Before i can love goodness i need to know what goodness is. For me goodness is several or even many things. Its easier to see goodness in a pet animal. My dog has little or no hatred. Because he is blind to my faults. And the faults of other human beings. I am in awe of his purity and his zest for life. He is easily entertained. I can take him to the same park every day and he maintains the same enthusiasm as if it was his first visit. Im back on my laptop now and already editing. This is an important theme to me. We shouldn't just admire successful people. We need to admire loving people and people who aren't afraid to put their life and reputation on the line for a good reason. Joan of Arc for instance. At only 19 she put her life on the line going into battle for France. What a human being! What single-minded heroism! Some of course thought she was mentally ill, but such mental illness inspired a country to regain their self-respect and independence. As a Catholic I admire the saints. And those Christians who either got fed to the lions or suffered excruciating torture. Whether you believe their cause was right or not, you have to admire their faith to put everything on the line. Then I read of Christians suffering even now in Muslim dominated countries. How easy the Christians have it in first world countries like Australia. If everyone admired goodness more than success, the world would be a better place...in my humble opinion. (insert smilie in case graham is reading) Those Tao writers sound like good men Graham. They deserve our admiration too.
I sometimes think Jordan Peterson plays the disciplinarian father role because he sees that is what is missing in society. Young men getting spoilt by their parents and society too. Left wing ideology influencing them choose victim narratives instead of taking responsibility. Playing the blame game instead of growing up. This is why he is so successful, because he fills that vacuum. He is helping many young men wake up and become men. Occasionally though, I will tire of his constant "lecturing". Even if JP sees that a situation needs more "maternal parental compassion" he swill stick to his hardline "toughen up" stance. The reality is we need both paternal and maternal guidance. Some kids get too much of the paternal influence and will blame themselves for everything. Then they will need some counselling. If they got a counsellor like Jordan, would they improve or get worse?
To my knowledge this originated in the UK. it certainly occurs in Australia. How shall I define it? Teasing? Mild ribbing? Common among men, especially young men in say a sports team, or doing a physical "blue collar" job, in the military too I imagine. I am prompted to start this topic after hearing JP (Jordan Peterson) talk about it in the context of someone being teased about their "lunchbox" which they brought to work. A young guy doing a working class job gets teased about his lunch box, takes it seriously and thus escalates the ribbing.Peterson stresses the importance of being able to take a "ribbing" and not react as a predictor of handling more difficult pressures in life. In my younger years I was actually quite good at "taking a ribbing". it didn't bother me and if I had a weird , feminine lunch box with me at a male dominated job, I could certainly see the funny side of that. Guess it may teach me though, to not leave my self open for further ribbings in future. Oversensitivity is a problem and taking ourselves too seriously will only make matters worse. I wonder though if I was in the same scenario now, how resilient and "good humoured" I would be about it? Mayber a bit grumpy. Well I would probably eat alone for a start because I tend not to enjoy crass conversations of testosterone-full men. One guy on a forum a few years ago was following me all over the forum. Every comment I made, he would try to outwit or diminish.A bit like out trolling the troll perhaps? I didn't mind at first but then I finally confronted him about it, when it became wearisome. he said "just having a bit of banter mate, cant you take a joke". It really did make me question whether I was oversensitive and not able to "banter" with others. Still, his "trolling" on me was relentless. I thought it had gone way past banter, and had become personal. So I "bantered" back. And then he complained I was a sore loser who lacked all humour. I just didn't find him that witty anyway. maybe he was envious, I dunno.
Oh looks like someone has started a thread over there. What's it about ? Oh of course. The family scapegoat. Family member X. We all have a grievance against Family Member X. What a great way of creating solidarity for the rest of us, and making sure we aren't the family pariah. . Distancing ourselves from such childish behaviour. That makes me feel so mature. Oh look here. Someone is sharing photos of their holiday to Bali. Getting lots of likes. That's one sure fire way to make sure the rest of us are envious and wish we were making the most of our life instead of taking boring little local vacations. Oh Family Member X is sharing why he looks so thin and much younger than his years. This guy really knows how to rub it in. He's discovered "THE diet". We all simply must listen and emulate, otherwise we are doomed to superficial fatness for ever. Family Member L is now telling us how her child graduated from High School valedictorian, is destined to become an astro physicist. Not that she wants us to ooh and ahh over her brilliant child's optimistic future. Or take any credit for his dynamic DNA. You ponder whether you should share how you have learnt the chords to Happy Birthday on guitar. But change your mind when you realise they might ask you to sing it.
The AA meetings Ive been too are more often than not full of the spirit. People make themselves vulnerable. There's lots of empathy and sharing and well...love. There is something about being at rock bottom that reminds us of how important humility is. So we make our comeback and regain our confidence. And we tend to lose our humility in the process. No longer at rock bottom, we get our pride back and arrogance gradually creeps back in. That's why I like AA stories. People remind us of where they were. How low they got. How desperate they were. We never are more beautiful than when we hit rock bottom and cry out for help. Better not get addicted to the moment I hear you say. And I agree. But it is important to remember that at our lowest ebb, there was the most room for amazing grace. How sweet the sound. Church is of course important and vital really. it reminds us that God is front and center, Number 1 in our life. Just wish the fellowship was there sometimes. AA reminds us that we are all equal in God's eyes. The only winners are the ones who admit they are losers and surrender. Surrender their self-sufficiency and arrogance. Ive noticed humility at Church but it is more obvious at AA meetings.
This will not be a theology lesson. But I rate the interpretation of the phrase very important. Much of my childhood and early adult life I took this phrase to mean "be meek, be passive, God will sort everything out." And to some extent it actually worked. Well I mean I was hardly every bullied for instance . But looking back I was hardly ever taken seriously either. It became known that I was not a main player, more a spectator or anonymous extra in a movie. Playing lead roles was too exhausting anyway. You had to focus too hard and learn long lines. I preferred the outsider's occasional witty interjection, only most people didn't think I was very witty. I listened to Jordan Peterson recently. He said there is actually a lot of conjecture over the meaning of "turn the other cheek". Looks like we were totally misled, misinformed. Peterson said something to the effect that we need to adopt a zen like "be ready for battle, but rarely draw our sword". (sorry he might have said something slightly different, just that is what I remember). Whatever it means, it doesn't mean "passive". Knowing what this phrase really means can surely help Christians and society in general, make good decisions, when tension arises between us. I think good advice is not reacting to aggression with aggression . Stick to mature decent language even if its tempting to say "**** you!" Now that is hypocritical for me to say that I admit.
I am the master of my toothbrush and the standby vice vice captain of my soul if you can keep your head while others are losing it you probably need to escape ISIS asap because you're next I wandered lonely as a nimbo cumulus...…… [cant seem to get this poem to gel..any ideas? ]
What are the most important leadership qualities in your opinion? This topic occurred to me at work yesterday. My boss is good at her job. Under pressure, she makes good decisions. I thought to myself, "that must be the single most important trait of a leader. Making good decisions under pressure. Being calm and non-reactive. Qualities which I lacked when I was thrust into leadership roles. Anxious people aren't really suited to leadership, I fear. And especially if they have any of the people pleasing gene. You have to embrace loneliness when you are leader. Try to please everyone, and you'll end up pleasing no one.
Whether it is the obvious kind or the more sneaky manipulative type, the need for it has grown for me as I get older. I could be kinder to myself and say " I just don't want to be controlled by somebody else". But I suspect there is no such thing as Robinson Crusoe control. We live in an interdependent world. Business people start businesses sometimes for the reason, "I just want to be my own boss." Still they have to pay homage to their customers. Don't bite the hand that feeds you. I display OCD symptoms already. Cant go to bed unless the sink is clear. All the cutlery and crockery got to be put away. Cant got to bed without having hot milk on cornflakes just before. What a bad habit, I hear you say. Well, its not the only one. And Ive turned into my dog's slave. He must be walked every day in the early morning. He must get his ball game at home in the backyard every afternoon. He must get the same treat straight after that. At work, I must do certain rituals in the right order. Never clean rooms out of a certain order. I must be spoken to with respect by shop assistants. If that doesn't happen, look out. I might just give them a bad review on the Internet. On the road, if anyone overtakes me then slows down in front of me, they get a honk, honk. Don't let anyone get away with anything! Im both amused and ashamed to tell you all this. What a control freak Ive become! You would have liked me much more in my younger years. I wasn't even aware when people were treating me badly. And my OCD didn't exist at all.
Donny Trump Hilly Clinton Vlad Putin Harvey Whinestein Kevins Pacey ISIS my older bother my farmer work colleague feminists Stalin Hitler Mao doesn't make me a good person nor one of the "good" guys.
Can you think of a time in your life when an apparent negative turned into a positive? I can think of at least two areas. Personality traits and negative circumstances. One cliched example might be the shy, quiet person who gives a speech and it turns out to connect very well with the audience. The speech might be about their struggles with shyness. What about the saint, Ignatius who got severely wounded in battle, which forced him to be in hospital for an extended period and he did a lot of reading. He becomes the man who starts the famous.Jesuit order. Many would consider that a positive. Not all I admit. Ok here's a good one. I was hopeless at Science at school. Then when I was training to be an elementary school teacher, I failed science so had to repeat it. So when it came time for me to teach science, I over-compensated and prepared what I would consider some very good lessons for the students. I became an enthusiastic teacher of science. (but at a very basic level of course) And here's another. In my twenties I experienced a very lonely period. No girlfriend and almost no friends. I had to share apartments with people I didn't know or trusted. One guy in particular never paid his share of the rent and then after 3 months just vanished. This experienced just made me feel worse. The experience forced me to reassess change jobs and move to another city. The next city I lived in, I made a number of friends, got a better paid job and had a great time. (if a little hedonistic in retrospect)
I survived 2018. But I want to go the next step and live 2019. In what ways will you be "living 2019" rather than "surviving" it? Or should we just be grateful to survive another year?
Best Paper sees solutions. Best Paper sees hope. Best Paper sees Best Others. Best Paper copes with stress. Best Paper doesn't panic. Best Paper avoids post mortem analyses. Best Paper lives more in the present than other tenses. Best Paper digs deep and finds persistence, perseverance and self-discipline. Best Paper doesn't despair. Best Paper says Never too Late. Best Paper starts making real plans. Best Paper loses the sarcasm and gains self-respect. Best Paper finds charity towards himself and therefore others. Best Paper lessens his value on Intellectualism. Best Paper opens his mind. Best Paper starts appreciating and trusting more the one who created Him.
In particular for songs/music. "They don't make songs like this anymore." "The eightees was the best decade for music." "This is the best song ever written." "This artist is in league of his/her own." "I play this song every night before I go to bed." "This song reminds me of my father singing it to us kids in the car" 'Now here is what I call an artist." 'I cry every time I hear this." "I'm crying right now." 'This song takes me to another place." "Thanks for uploading. I absolutely love this song." " This is easily the best version of the song." 'The good old seventies." "I was only 2 years old when I first heard this." "Best intro of a song you will ever hear."