Gravy's Random Writing

#1 - It's okay to be a pantser AND plotter. For years, I wrote novels with NO guide at all. But, that led me to rambling and veering off to focus on character development instead of plot development. In the last few years though, I got frustrated with my lack of ability of complete a story, because I was always veering off into a side-plot.

That's when I decided to give plotting a chance. I read the book Outlining Your Novel by K. M. Weiland it changed the way I viewed at plotting. I used to think about it as a strict structure that had no room for creativity. But, when I viewed it like the Pirate Code; more like a guideline, I was in love. Now, I even outline my fanfictions! But as I am writing, the plot points I have outlined are the only things that MUST happen in the story. Everything else, like character reactions, backstories, etc. are up for grabs.

So, when I am writing, I can still experience that shock when a character does something unpredictable, without letting the character derail the plot. (Looking at you, Kyle! King of Plot Derailment!) So, now, I use both plotting and pantsing. For the first draft, when it's a NEW story, I let myself pants the first draft, because what I find might add more to later drafts.

#2 - The THIRD draft is not your finished product. The third draft is STILL a giant outline. Revise it at least 3 more times! Because a story changes and so do characters. The thing that I always worry about is missed opportunities in a story. One of my works, Dark Caverns, is on Draft 8 and I am NOT sorry. Because I have had time to figure out the world, the characters, etc. If I had gone with draft 3, the story would be so different. Characters that were not added until draft 6 would not exist. If one believes this to be excessive, that's fine. But just learn what works for you. I am a perfectionist and am always on the quest to turn over every stone. I always feel I am MISSING something and when I find it, it's like a puzzle piece clicking into place.

#3 - Write until you stop. If the characters still have things to say, the story is not finished. It's hard to explain, but like people, characters have a lot of thoughts. So, let them talk until they sit back in the interview chair and thank you. I have been writing novels where it just doesn't FEEL like the end- so it's not. Not until you're staring at the blank page, feeling there is nothing left to say. It's hard to explain, but it just FEELS like the end. You can always edit later, but let the story conclude on its own, don't cut it off due to word count, or some arbitrary outline/what you thought it would be. Let the characters tell you when they are finished being interviewed.

#4 - Ring that bell - I have said this before around here on the forum. If you're going to write something dark and scary, don't shy away from it. Understand what you are writing and lean into it. The term, 'ring the bell' comes from Mel Brooks and his experience on the movie Blazing Saddles where someone told him to just 'ring the bell'. Don't walk up to a subject and dance around it. Write it. Before that, understand it to the best of your imagination. Then, see where the topic takes you.

#5 - Using your imagination is okay - Because that's what writing is all about. Yet, there seems to be a current thought that says one must 'visit the location', read all the history books, learn what kind of tablecloths they used in the 1800s. To an extent, do what works for you, but again, remember the book you are most likely writing is fiction. You don't HAVE to be perfect and it's OKAY to use your imagination for things you don't want to research. (For me, rainforests because of all the mushrooms and bugs.) Will it be as accurate? Maybe not- but also, when do we think the Haunted Mansion has to be actually haunted for us to enjoy it?

Extreme Pessimism Ahead and I will NOT reply to debate-provoking comments.

In the past few weeks, I have learned a harsh lesson: There is no hope. The world is falling apart- I don't care what side you are on or if you think I am wrong. That's fine. But for me. I realized I have to accept what I must. That is, the world is falling part from where I stand. Only when I do that, can I find peace.

I think we can all relate to when we jump on our phones and begin searching news, hoping something has changed. Lately, I have been doing it too much and my friend named this reflex, 'HopeScrolling'. It's not DOOMscrolling, because we ALL know it's bad out there. HopeScrolling is the scrolling that promises that maybe, just maybe, we will find some good still out there. Something good happening despite everything. Something we can hold onto until maybe, we see the headline in the news: 'Breaking News: The World is Saved and at Peace!'

Is this jaded of me? Yeah. It really is. Should I always believe in the goodness of humanity? No. Because I have been proven wrong time and time again. But that's from where I stand. But I think it's easier to put down the phone if I take wisdom from my favorite author:

"Abandon all hope, ye who enter in."
- Trans. Longfellow

Which, I find oddly comforting right now. Because it just tells me that no matter what I am looking for on the internet, on the news, I won't find the hope I seek. So, it's best to just put down the phone, news, all the things that draw my energy outward into the world. Instead, focus on me. Focus on my daily life, spending time with my cat, writing stories, and talking to people on this forum who are my 'internet family'. Just... take care of myself, because there is nothing outside myself that can bring me joy.

And maybe, that's okay.

Because I can always look up at night at the stars for peace of mind.

Because I have too many songs now that I started looking.

Ravenna's main theme is:



I heard this song and it screams Alisso:


And this one, too. Oddly, I was looking for this one when I remembered the one above:



Finally, for Nari:



And for overall character plot, I felt like this song was pretty relevant to Ravenna's story arc:

So, I am back on the wagon today and I am much happier. I got SO much done around the house. As I am writing this, I am using my 15 minutes of internet time.

The goal isn't to be perfect, the goal is to improve. So, I can only hope I can get back on the wagon for a long while. News- second hand- knocked me off.

I realize this has to be a challenge. Because I like challenging games like Elden Ring, Dark Souls, etc. So, every time I fall off the wagon, it's like the 'You Died' screen. You get sent back to the bonfire to try again. Maybe this time you won't let the Internet, Knower of All blast you into pieces with a lightning attack.

I donno. I am just know I get return to enjoying real-life while remaining connected to those I care about online. Like a few of my digital friends and this forum.

Anyway, time to put on my Havel's ring, and try again.

P.s. I could use tips to minimize my time on the following sites:
Youtube
Reddit (Dark souls, etc.)
These are both useful to me, but I have been using them too much the past few days. I want to minimize their use, especially reddit. Youtube is MUCH harder, because I enjoy watching @the Backlogs, and other gamers. Also, astrology. Maybe just make myself restricted to JUST Dark Souls/Elden Ring Reddit? That might help.

I saw this video and it's really good. I like Mel.



I bet you're wondering WHY I am posting a video, but I decided I wanted to make a collection of digital minimalism information. A digital archive to help remind me and inspire me to continue my journey.

(The art on my blog is not mine. I just like it.)

So, I am not sure if Cal Newport mentioned this in his book, 'Digital Minimalism', but I had some thoughts about the 'like' button. Upon reflection, it's more socially insidious than the 5-star system first used by Youtube. Because we ALL want to be liked. Because wanting to be loved and accepted by society is important for everyone. So, we want what we say to be liked. The more liked we are, the more secure we feel in our expression.

But how do I stop looking at things I created on a platform for personal reasons, for the likes? Yes, I post things on the platforms I use. (Like this one!)

Anyway, I thought about this for awhile, trying to unravel the yarn. The reason why I want 'likes' is because I am insecure in what I am saying. If I was talking about writing or history, I wouldn't feel as insecure. Because I have confidence in my knowledge or skill.

But when I am trying something new, or am unsure, I want that 'like' for reassurance. I am not sure what it's like for other people, but I think on some level, we all want reassurance that other people like what we post or say. Because it's what we want to believe it correlates to how 'accepted' we are in society. That's why I think the 'like' system is more socially damaging than a star system or what not. Because we all want to be heard and we all want to be loved. (Or in this case, 'liked'.)

The reasons I am doing this is something I must return to when I fall off the wagon. The last few days have not been 'good' by any measure. So, it's always good to remember WHY I am doing this and like one of my characters, I like lists. So below are my reasons why I am trying to cut back on my internet time. Why I am posting these here? Because you might relate and I wanted to post this. It's my blog after all. So, onto the list:

1. To spend as much time with my cat as possible. He is a refined gentleman and I want to give him all the love in the world.

2. To spend as much time with my family. See reason #1.

3. To not be angry all the time. There always reasons to be upset about the state of the world (sometimes that's okay, though.) When I stopped going online as much and making my digital life smaller, I felt... less angry. It's weird how I didn't realize how angry I felt under the surface all the time.

4. To remember how to be a human being. People are complex and loving at their core. Not a collection of labels. This fall, I worked the polls for the 2024 Election (no more comments than that and I will not reply to debate questions) and I met so many people and I WORKED with so many people who were different than me. And that's what I want. I want to see people as human beings, even if I don't believe the same things they do.

5. To not become part of the internet 'hivemind'. I want to have my own thoughts and feelings.

6. For future generations. I want to be present. Happy. And most of all, a good role model when it comes to tech use.
As the next gens come into the world, I don't want their potential lost to a screen. We all have dreams and time moves fast.

7. I want to achieve my goals. I want to write EVERY story in my head and how can I do that if I am worried about some 'rage bait hot topic' news post? Sure, there are some very important news articles, but I can't be angry all the time. I need to just do what I can in my own way.

I have a confession. In the last two days, I have used my phone for hours. Computer for hours, too. It happens to me sometimes when I 'try too hard' to cut back. But also, when I am upset. And recent world events the past two days have been just that. (If you have feelings about them that are opposite of mine, I am not here to debate.) But the real question is HOW do I get back ON the wagon?

How can I get back to my little digital life and big real life when the news or events turn over my cabbage cart? (MY CABBAGES!!)

Well, my mom said while I was discussing this with her was, "find what is good in your life." And I agree. I also think that looking into WHY I spent WAY too much time on my phone. Not looking at the news, or asking externally WHY. But looking INSIDE. Figure out my emotions, because I know when I am upset, I tend to be on my computer/phone more.

Then, acknowledge and accept what I did. Too many Youtube shorts was my problem today. But also, be GENTLE with myself. I can't be perfect and the world at large can be upsetting.

Then, remember that you can try again. I got in a habit where if I failed 1 day, I wouldn't reset until I went to sleep. But I am starting to realize I can and should just start ASAP. So, that's why I am resetting mid-day.

So, in short, how to get back on the wagon is:
1. Realize you have been on your phone/computer too long looking at pointless things.
2. Forgive yourself and figure out why you ended up on devices again.
3. Process those feelings and remember why you are doing this.
4. Reset your progress and pat yourself on the back as you get back on the wagon.

I didn't think I would have people actually read my post. Thanks for the feedback and @Madman asked about if doing this detox makes me more productive. I gave a short response, but wanted to elaborate on the topic. In short, yes. It has made me MORE productive.

I no longer do dishes and wonder 'did Y write me back?' or 'I gotta finish these quick so I can make sure I didn't miss anything happening online.' Sure, we all have these thoughts, but I think less and less about the internet when I'm not on it. Sure, I am excited about my current roleplay game and wonder about where the story will lead. But I have become more conscious of when I am trying to do something 'fast' so I get back online to check something.

Honestly, when I first started this whole thing, I think back in 2020? I don't remember. I was becoming more aware of my digital usage in 2019. My biggest issue was and still IS my phone. (That's a whole other post!) I recall making a 'internet' schedule and that failed. I tried and tried to do similar for a LONG time. But I think I finally cracked my own code.

What works for you may be different.

I realized that I had to schedule time to permit myself online, rather than thinking of the time I wasn't online as a restriction. It's hard to explain. I also decided how much time I would allow myself each 'block'. At the moment, 15 minutes is working like a gem. I'm currently on here a little BEFORE my scheduled time. But I can't be perfect.

Because I have learned that is why I have failed in the past. So now, it's to do the best I can. Because it's progress which is important.

But back to productivity. I would say I have gained so much from cutting my internet time. NOT my computer time. I think that's where people don't make the distinction as well as they should. Computer time is NOT internet time. I can get on the computer to do ANYTHING I want off-line. Like writing, video games, and video editing. But online leisure time is where I have the 15 minute rule. Sure, if something comes up I need to get online for, like creating a thumbnail for a video or researching when Target is open. So, it's not a complete blackout.

The key I learned from r/NoSurf is about making the computer/phone a tool again. So, that's my goal. Not to be attached to my phone, or thinking constantly, 'I have to hurry and get this done in case someone replied to my thread'.

But in terms of productivity, I found I have also written more, gotten more things done in real life. Like, for the first time in my life I have been excited to get out of bed, clean the dishes, feed cats and take out the trash. Life feels like an adventure again. Not just waking up to see what everyone online is mad about today or wondering if 'big political issue' was resolved. (Let's face it. There will always be problems I will care about a LOT.) When I wake up, I am excited that I have another potential day of writing, or editing.

If I had to backtrack and say how I got here, I don't know. But I really think cutting out news and MOST social media has helped. (I still want to ditch reddit, but how am I supposed to find what I need in Elden Ring when I have 1 day to play?) But I have also been listening to more CDs instead of watching Youtube the past 2 days and it's been great. I really want to get down to 1 Youtube video a day. That ONE video you really, really want to watch.

Anyway, I will explain more how I got here in the next post. Because I realize it's a combination of things, including books, watching society turn to phones, and a hell of a lot of willpower.

I don't know when I really began this journey to cut down on my internet time, but I know I have come a long way. Now, something I am trying to do is make my internet 'smaller'. So, instead of all the sites in the world at my fingertips, I have picked the top 5.

1. Email.
2. This site
3. Youtube
4. Reddit and I am trying to keep only to Dark Souls, Notebook, and Chocolate content. (r/chocolate is a treat!)
5. Can't think of this one right now, but it's an open slot, I guess.

The key I realized was making the internet like the early 2000's again. Small sites, community, and stupid jokes. No news, drama or rage bait. To do that, I had to take matters into my own hands and just DO IT. So, in 2025, I have sworn off news. I can't look at it, but if people have a story to tell, they can. I can react to the information, but not inquire about the matter further. Unless it's super-important. I am done arguing politics online, off-line, in my head, in my dreams. I'm done.

Now, that doesn't mean I have been perfect. No. Not at all. I needed an argument kick and wanted to know about some social issues, so I read the Supreme Court Hearing Transcripts. Which, I feel was better than the news. But I will own up to the fact I searched for them. Also, the TikTok case was funny, because 29 pages in, everyone is mad, no one is having a good time.

Anyway, I have also come to realize I don't NEED to be on my computer constantly checking and checking if there's an alert. I decided two days ago to only be on for 15 minutes at a time at the angled hours, 3, 9, 12, etc. I set a timer and yeah, sometimes I go over, but I am aware. And it's amazing how much I can get done in 15. Really, email checked, alerts noted and replied and sometimes, there's even enough time to glance at r/chocolate.