Expectations and Disappointment

So my last blog entry with very dramatic. I think there's truth to what I said, but I also think it was inspired by a recent disappointment as well as a few cups of rum and coke.

I think what I've learned from the experience is this: expectation and disappointment are intrinsically and therefore irrevocably intertwined. Expectation, especially in the modern age -- but even before all the technology and prosperity, often balloons up so high as to overshadow reality. Imagine the earth itself, or the universe whatever you want, within the balloon of expectation. Imagine the balloon was of the same size, as in: it was in line with what life truly has to offer, or even a little smaller. It's a reasonable size then and won't likely pop. But imagine that your expectation balloon is so large that it far dwarfs the feasible realm of possibility, carrying within it imagined figures and experiences you dreamed about and mentally masturbated too, and then inevitably: it pops. All the figures fall out because the false gravity of your balloon, the only thing holding them in place, has leaked out of the puncture and thus weakened its grip on your imagined utopia. It's funny, as big as that balloon was, all reality needed to do was to aim one fiery arrow out into space and destroy the balloon. Anyway, that's probably pretty obvious to most people. Hell it was always obvious to me. But sometimes you forget and you still position yourself to lose the idealized world you created.

I think, to be happy, it isn't to avoid this truth. That expectations and disappointment are irrevocably tied. But to work it into your understanding of the world. Expect the best, expect the worst, and let life do its thing.