I sat down, it's done

I feel like any time I try and sit down and do something constructive, that I'll become aware of something extremely annoying, OR something extremely annoying will bother me right when I decide to sit down. Like right now, right on queue my dog decides to whimper behind me. She's walked, and fed, and hasn't made a peep until now. Until right fucking now.

If it's not her, it's a family member from hell who decides they want to talk my ear off, or bitch about one another. If my days going good, somebody comes into it to test me, to make me EARN my happiness. Temper tantrums and guilt trips, rude people, aggressive drivers. I feel like I'm in some experiment. The goal? To slowly drive me insane. Or it's something that I would find even more sinister. People see my happiness and want to take it away from me for no fucking reason.

My Dads great for that. Any time I talk to him it's a coin toss whether or not I'll come out feeling like shit or not. It's gotten to the point where I intentionally treat him like shit every time I see him so he can't do it to me. He was the type that banged shit around so often in the house, that anytime I hear dishes rattle or a cupboard close a little too loudly, I get a fight or flight response. I legitimately almost had a panic attack on a job where my boss would constantly drop pallets on the floor. Every time he did it I felt my whole body tense up and I would just feel afraid, like he was mad at me.

Got in some writing, now I'm done. Lets see what the dog wants.