Message in a bottle

I put my head down and worked. Long hours, in the heat, in the cold, in the rain and the mud. What's it all for? I'm working for a fraction of the money most of my peers make. I know, I know, it's my fault. I should have known to go to school. Little Dave didn't put the effort in! But 26 years of blame isn't all mine. So when does the blame start? 15? 17? 18? 20? How many years am I really responsible for? When does my ignorance become 100 percent my fault? He's just a kid! He's just a kid! He's just a kid! Annnnnnd now he's a fucking loser, pull back boys, losers on his own now. How much is the tribe to blame? I'm willing to put the effort in, I just need guidance, it's what I've always needed. I know in todays society of self help books and go getters, talking about reasons why you are where you are is just making excuses. You're a loser because of the choices you choose to make. End of story. But a computer programmed to see options A and B can't possibly be held responsible for not picking option C, can it?

All my experience with people has shown me that most people are cruel, uncaring, isolationists. Not unlike myself, the self I keep in check with remnants of Christian teachings. Offer a taste, and they take the bowl. Show humility, and they take the credit. My sense of morality is wrong for this world. Self sacrifice isn't admired, it's taken advantage of. Kindness is seen as weakness. Arrogance mistaken for competence. "Fake it until you make it". Don't lie. But lie. Have I just been unlucky? Have I met all the wrong people in all the wrong places? Is my perception of the world so warped that I can't ever see reality again? Or am I seeing things closer to what they are, absent positive emotion. Absent the chemical process that allows someone to see the good in a situation that has none.

Here's another message in a bottle, thrown out to sea. A plea for help that most will never see.
Here I'll be, stranded but free. S.O.S Somebody fucking help me.