Poem - Begin Again

By Kisho · Aug 17, 2008 · 944 · 2
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  1. Begin Again

    You want another chance
    To give it another try
    We will let you take another shot
    But you best be ready to dance

    Take the unlit match
    Light it with the striker
    And toss it to the wind
    No turning back or trying to catch

    Time to burn it all down
    Let the flames eat the past
    And dance in the ashes
    Come now don’t frown

    You wanted to start anew
    Memories must be sacrificed
    You should be grateful
    This is a chance given to few

    I am rather fond of this, I kept thinking of the words 'burn it all down' and they fit nice in my opinion. Critique welcomed if you see it :)
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  1. tarnished
    I like this kish :D
    tarnished, Aug 19, 2008
  2. maddiemae
    I am not a poet,
    Fortunately for you,
    I know it.

    Do you really want to use 'another' three times in the first stanza? I must admit it distracted me, but I'm not sure if it was because I believe 'you should never repeat a word so many times in a stanza' or, because it doesn't flow.

    "and toss it to the wind" I think I would delete 'and' for better flow.

    "Time to burn it all down
    Let the flames eat the past"

    To me it sounds better with:

    "Time to burn it down
    Let flames eat the past..."

    I like what you are doing. These are only ideas that sound good to my ear.
    maddiemae, Aug 19, 2008
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