Salvia - XDream - Rewind

By Malisky · Aug 9, 2016 · ·
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  1. You are on the rocky hill of Pnika, right next to the Parthenon. It's late December and the weather is chili to the bones, but of course you are not accordingly dressed. You like wearing light clothing. You sacrifice body heat to movability. You suddenly come to the realization that your right arm is moving on it's own. You observe it calmly like a detached part of your body that has grow a will of its own and for some reason has started moving in reverse circles around its axes. You have no idea when this began and for how long it's been going on. Your eyes are searching for your friends but they are nowhere to be seen. You look around and realize that you are completely alone. You think that maybe it's better that way.

    You focus on your arm and finally, it obeys to your will and it stops moving. You decide to lie down. You'll be safer that way. You lie on a somewhat flat rock. You tremble for a while from the chill factor you experience upon contact. The cold is painful to your back. Your sensory nerves translate it to your brain as many little spikes that pierce right through your skin, but you know what's going on and you refuse to stand up again. You know that these nerves care about your well being and that they're only trying to signal you in case you haven't noticed that you might cause harm to yourself, so you reassure them that you got their message and that everything is going to be alright. It's not gonna last long. Soon, you'll be up again. You stop trembling and get a sensation like fusing with the environment. You feel the cold at its whole magnificence, but it doesn't bother you at all. You feel as you've become one with the rock.

    You are staring at the sky. Unexpectedly, you watch time shift right in front of your eyes. The light blue color of the sky swifts gradually to a deep blue in no time and the dense clouds turn into purple and move above you in a time-lapse effect. They move so fast that it makes you excited to observe them, but also kind of worried. Suddenly, their pace drops down significantly as they part to reveal the full moon right above you. You feel the cold, silver rays tenderly caressing your very soul. The moon is there for you. It is your divine healer. You feel as time has stopped for a while. You feel blessed.

    The clouds cover the moon again and this brief, magical instant is gone. They start to move faster and faster. You don't panic. You just keep your eyes open and observe. The sky is lighting up again. It is day and the clouds move higher and dissolve into a white misty sky, devoid of any colors. You are feeling ready to get up again so... you get up. You are a little disoriented, but just a little. You feel light and heavy at the same time. You fix your clothes and look around. You spot your friends a bit further. Three of them are smocking ciggarettes and talking in a relaxed manner. They seem happy. One of them is still zoned out, or maybe he is just sleeping. It is so quite. So peaceful. The Parthenon looks magnificent.

    You approach your friends and ask them what time it is. Someone answers that it's nine thirty. Then you ask what day it is. He looks at you and smiles. You can tell that this is a concerned smile. He asks you how you are feeling. You only answer "fine" and repeat your question, demanding an answer. You are not in a mood to chit chat. You are not feeling ill towards him, but first things first. He answers that it's December 22nd. You sit next to him and light up a cigarette.

    You think about your trip and come to a conclusion. What you have experienced was time moving in rewind.
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Comments

  1. I.A. By the Barn
    Smocking cigarettes...
    [​IMG]
    That's going to be hard! :D
    No, I quite enjoyed that, it was strangely hypnotic and I liked the use of 'you'.
      Malisky likes this.
  2. Malisky
    Thank you. :)
    I have been experimenting with "you" lately. It's actually fun to use. Takes me out of the routine.
    What is this pattern?
  3. I.A. By the Barn
    The picture is of a smocked dress which is where you gather material and then sew over it.
  4. obsidian_cicatrix
    Interesting, but I can't help but be irked by constantly being referred to. I've read similar pieces and haven't fared any better with them. Must be personal preference on my part...well, that and I hate being told what to do, nevermind being told what I'm supposed to have done. ;)

    Kudos for attempting such a rarely used tense.
      Malisky likes this.
  5. Malisky
    I'm glad you read it anyways. :)
    Thank you.
      obsidian_cicatrix likes this.
  6. A man called Valance
    Sheesh! Take me on a trip upon your magic swirling ship.... if I didn't smoke thirty a day already (and twenty at night) I'd take up smocking right now.
      Malisky likes this.
  7. obsidian_cicatrix
    @Malisky

    Y'know what? I think I might just follow your lead. Reading my previous comment again made me realise something. I used to hate First Person with a passion, —rarely used to read anything other than Third— until I started writing in First, and now I use it almost exclusively, and have a better appreciation for stories written in it too. Maybe if I have a go at writing Second, it might make me a wee bit more tolerant. :D
      Malisky likes this.
  8. Malisky
    @A man called Valance Anytime man.

    @obsidian_cicatrix When I read and write I usually enjoy 3rd person too. I don't have a problem even in 1rst, but I prefer 3rd. (Keep them as far away from me as possible). When I use 2nd is mostly for short things and experimental stuff. It also works as a deus ex machina narrator. This can get funny very easily. I got the idea mostly from stand-up comedians. You know, the trick they use in order to make you connect with them. They can get quite dramatic too (as a confession of some sort).

    I hope I managed to tag you. I have no idea if that worked.
  9. obsidian_cicatrix
    You would like to think that tagging worked. Judging by Obsid's prompt reply, you must have done something right. (Sorry.... getting some practice in. ;))
      Malisky and A man called Valance like this.
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