I'm a little bit scared. Maybe a lot.
For the better part of three years, I've been working on a novel. I had an idea... well, my wife had an idea, and I had the determination to write a story around it (she's the smart one, you see; I get by with perseverance). I wrote, re-wrote, got feedback and encouragement from friends who are actual writers, polished, polished, and polished some more. Finally I contracted some artists to produce a cover and a couple of interior drawings. In short, I've done all the things.
Last night, I worked on final formatting, and with the exception of one niggling little formatting issue that no one else will notice and I can live with, the final package is finished. It's ready to publish.
Of course, there's more to do. I created a Facebook page, and started making some posts there, but I need to do more with that. And I need to figure out a roll-out campaign, find a handful of people to give free copies to so they can read and provide reviews, and maybe spend some money on advertising. There are checklists for all this and more, and I can follow directions.
But I'm scared. I've put a lot into this, and frankly I'm afraid it's not good enough. Oh, I know it's not GOOD WRITING, but I believe it's passable; better than a lot of what's self-published on the Kindle platform. But what if I have a giant blind spot, and the rest of the world thinks differently?
What if, in the final analysis, in the court of public opinion, my work has no value?
Part of me says that I have to take the leap. I have to take the risk, take the hit, learn from my mistakes, and keep at it. That's what the pros would tell me. It's what they're going to tell me. It's probably what's going to happen. Because (and those of you who really know me will verify this), I'm stubborn.
But I'm also scared.
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