As I sit typing...

My son's room shares a wall with my office/cat room, his crib on the opposite wall from the common wall. My desk on the opposite wall from the common wall. So, literally, my desk is on the opposite side of the house from my son's crib. His crib has wheels, and he's got long enough arms to reach through the bars and pull his crib toward the changing table, which stands right next to his crib.

So as I sit here, typing this, he is in his crib defying all reasons for taking a nap. He is 'singing', he is babbling, and he is pulling his crib toward the wall, and pushing himself off. Thump, roll... Thump, roll... Thump, roll... Babble babble (mostly Da-Da!'s and raspberries)... Thump, roll... Squeal.

I'm thinking of maybe giving in and getting him a bottle so he will actually take his nap. If he doesn't nap, I suffer the consequences horribly. And it starts with his attitude. Fuss at this, fuss at that, shouting 'No!' at me before a sippy sup or piece of food goes flying by. Not wanting to be held, but doesn't want to be put back down. Grabs for and 'asks' for everything he knows he shouldn't play with.
"Honey, can you watch him for a minute? I've got to use the bathroom, I've been holding it for hours now!" to which my husband will sigh loudly, and slowly leave his man-cave to keep an eye on our grumpy little angel.
The moments away are bliss. I'm not hefting around a 25lb toddler bent on distruction and general chaos and mayhem. I'm weightless as I stand in the bathroom, eyes closed, counting to twenty in my head. I didn't really need to use the bathroom, but my temper sure needed the break.

"Please, oh please Colton honey, take your f**king nap!" I want to scream, usually just as he says or does something that makes me regret not having a camera ready. Such a cute little bugger!! Is it wrong to think, if I'd had an ugly child, it would make being a disciplinarian easier? That question is completely rhetorical, by the way. I know that whether my son were hideous, or angelic, I'd still love him unconditionally. But the times when I am trying to teach him "Don't throw food at mommy!" or "Don't hit the dogs with that baseball bat!", I really wish he weren't capable of such undermining cuteness.