Building Confidence in yourself and your writing

Today I'll be continuing the topic of retraining our writerly brain. If you live under a rock, or just didn't have time to read my last post Are you a good writer? Then please check it out here:

https://www.writingforums.org/blog/corbyn.18335/

Do you lack confidence in your daily life? Do you lack confidence in your writing? Do you find yourself writing something, then not picking it back up for days, weeks, or months because you feel like it's terrible or you've done a disservice to your writing? Are you missing your writing goals because of this? Is your lack of confidence affecting how you interact with people you work with or the relationships you have with friends and loved ones?

I know, those are a lot of questions. But if you answered yes to even one of them, then you're not alone. On any occasion, I have trouble with confidence. I've never possessed an overabundance (or even a minor abundance) of the stuff. It's frustrating. It makes my interactions with people awkward, and sometimes it makes it difficult for me to take a compliment regarding my work, or even myself. This quirk frustrates the people around me sometimes.

So, like with nearly everything I find interesting, when I saw a vlog about building confidence in yourself, I thought I'd share what I learned from it. Here are the five tips on how to foster confidence in yourself, and your writing.

1. Fake it until you make it. (This is something you've all seen me say before, but don't roll your eyes, bear with me) Faking it doesn't mean being a jerk or disingenuous. It's quite the opposite in fact. Confidence doesn't happen overnight, but instead is a result of retraining your brain until it realizes hey, I've got this! It's a result of behaving and carrying yourself that exudes an aura of confidence, even though you don't feel that way. It can be as simple as changing your posture, making eye contact, or at least trying to look people in the eye more, and talking about your work as if you believe in it. Walk into a situation like the boss bad a$$ you want to be.

Why, because people are hard-wired to respect people who behave more confidently. They will value your opinion and presence more because of this.

2. Stop comparing yourself to other writers. Thankfully, I don't do this, but I know a ton of other writers who do. Your work is just that. Yours. It is unique, and nobody can write what you do the way you do because they aren't you. So stop worrying about how your Sci-Fi western opera is going to shape up, or if you're going to be the next Stephen King. Nobody, not even King's kids feel like they can fill those shoes, so why are you so worried about it?

3. Fill your life with positive reinforcement. As creative people, we've all been there. Our families and friends love us, but sometimes they don't get us, or worse... they don't know how to talk to us. They don't always know how to be supportive either, or how to pick up our fragile egos and stoke them until they can stand on their own. Surround yourself with people who get what it's like to want to live a creative life, support and nurture them just in the same ways that you need to be. Also, start a folder for yourself and fill it with compliments about you or your work. When you start to feel down, pull out your folder. It's too easy to forget the nice things people say to us, and sometimes we just need a reminder.

4. Find your on switch. Everyone has something (or if your lucky a few somethings) that make us feel good about ourselves. This could be a song that makes you feel a specific way or a movie. The point is to surround yourself with things that make you feel good. When you find that thing which works for you, milk it.

5. Practice. Practice the things that make you feel passionate. If it's writing, then write. Don't stop. When you stop practicing you're robbing yourself of the very things that make you a better writer. The better your writing becomes, the more confident you, in turn, will become in your work. Confident writers trust their skill because they've put in the time. Writers write.

As always, I hope you enjoyed reading this blog. If you feel like there is something you’d like to see me cover, or I haven’t covered correctly, please leave a comment below.

Thank you for reading, and above all— Happy writing!

-Corbyn