bmillard Jun 12, 2012
The only critique I can have on your writing style is your use of adverbs but it may just be how I've conditioned myself after reading so many writing books. But it did feel awkward in the last paragraph 'bared his fangs playfully' and 'whispered feverishly. With the story the only parts that made me wonder was the ending (it kinda felt rushed--or out of context from the rest of the story) and the part about his mother's prayer was kind of strange (why does Satan dominate her prayers? she says Satan where most would say God). Those were the only parts I was a little confused over. It's evident that you know how to write a captivating story. This was an awesome read and makes me want to hear all kinds of tales about Satan splashing kids and growling at passersby. You've got a lot of talent. Awesome job with this story and I hope to see more soon.