Earthworm Jim, a legend of the Sega glory days, is half-man, half-worm. He is able to physically berate his enemies with his very own detachable worm-head. It makes a sound like WATISSH, which is followed by a seamless placing of his slithery head back between his shoulders. As a worm, earthworm Jim like all worms enjoys frolicking in the soil when he is not fighting crime.
If I were earthworm Jim I would have no problem in the dates department. I’d be like, “I’m earthworm Jim, pleased to meet you.”
I’d take the lady in question to a fancy restaurant where we’d get to know one another. The shine of her eyes would meet my own protruding worm-globes and there’d be some sparkle of chemistry.
-You’re such a beautiful invertebrate, do you know that? I’d say, a glint in my eye. And she’d respond with a slight blush of her hair behind her left ear as the waiter hands us over our menus.
-No need, garcon, I’d tell him confidently. The lady will be having soil this evening.
-And anything to drink, sir?
-No. We worms regulate our heat by staying moist all over our bodies.
-Okay, the waiter’d say.
Later on she’d be moist, if you know what I mean.
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