Scars

By Alesia · Sep 9, 2018 · 567 · 2
  1. Depression...
    Guilt...
    Shame...

    The thoughts ricocheted through me like an alcoholic game of bumper cars. How could I have done something so terrible to someone that I claimed to love?

    I sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the living room TV. Shinedown's "Call Me" reverberated through the darkness. I took another shot of liquor, then picked up a razor blade. I held it to my wrist, my torn soul stitched together with every gut wrenching lyric...

    "Had to make a choice that was not mine
    Had to say goodbye for the last time..."

    I cut slowly, cringing at the pain. I liked it. I smiled when the blood came. Bleeding washed out the bad things; it cleansed bad thoughts, bad feelings, and bad voices. But it also felt bad. It hurt. But I liked hurting.

    I deserve this pain, I thought. It was my penance for the way I'd hurt my best friend.

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  1. paperbackwriter
    choose another form of penance would be my advice.
    paperbackwriter, Sep 10, 2018
  2. Shnette
    Interesting piece, cutting was not the first thing that caught my mind.
    Actually, my first thought is of the "best friend." I immediately think this is an abusive relationship (maybe verbal/emotional abuse from the best friend) which causes this person to feel so shameful and deserving of inflicting self harm scars and eventually suicide.
    Shnette, Sep 11, 2018
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