The Fool

Welcome to L.A. Losers Anonymous.
(goes into Christian mode) Once you admit you are a loser and cant survive without Jesus Christ, you become a winner. No matter how many dollars you don't have in the bank. No matter how bad your job is. No matter how many people hate or ignore you. No matter how crap your life is.
Don't judge yourself by lack of success or fame.
(Im partly trying to motivate myself here too btw)

...and I thought I was hard on myself. LOL

This could be a brilliant opening to a story (like Ralph Ellison's opening to Invisible Man).
I like how a great name such as "Aerek_Of_Augustine" is juxtaposed with "fool" and "loser."

"Destined to wipe ass," though? Damn that's harsh.

Every master was once a fool.

When stuck my teachers advice has always been:

Just write.

Just paint.

Just draw.

It tends to work.

Despite what I believe are the best intentions of @paperbackwriter, I feel compelled to add that Christianity has no monopoly on truth and healing (except I suppose to Christians). I agree that it can an ultimately healing experience to accept one's powerless and build from there, but I suggest the 12-step model of trusting in "a greater power however we conceive it to be" would be more accepting, and definitely less evangelical, than is making it Jesus or bust. You can, but I suggest you don't have to, embrace Christianity to find your way out.

You are young, your life lies ahead, you don't have to be mired in a muddle of negative judgment. Get help if you need it; counseling can work wonders, and sometimes medications. Look to and for your faith, whatever it may be.