Georgew Mar 17, 2011
I've never read this blog before so forgive me if pointing a couple of things out isn't expected or the norm. I don't know if criticism is expected here.

"It’s not stupid and oblivious like that of a small girl" - I found this sentence slightly harsh, I wouldn't call the mind of a small girl stupid and oblivious, more blissfully ignorant.

"Thundering came followed by lightning" I'm aware you can hear thunder before you notice lightning but in general lightning would be the former not the latter.

I enjoy your writing though. The things I pointed out are small and relatively insignificant. It didn't taint my reading experience here.

One more thing I'd interject though before I leave is that the entire piece I was waiting for her mother to die, clear as day that she would from the prologue really. Then she didn't, It was slightly disappointing.

But then again that was only the first chapter, It does entice me to read on to find out how the mother dies.

Enjoyable writing, you've got something here.