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this poem's a gift to my girlfriend, input please???

Published by jkilgrow in the blog jkilgrow's blog. Views: 148

now for starters this is not finished. It's a song that I'm writing my girlfriend for Christmas so I need to get going on it. Can I get some input on the poem/lyrics so far???
I would really appreciate it.

alone at the coffee shop, drinking this black decaf
holding a pen that smears ink on the second half
of the letter I'm writing to tell you I'm sorry,
I tried to speak truth, but my eyes were all starry.

I've been wishfully hoping we could lose ourselves
so as not to recall how damn bad this all felt.
I stay struggling just to keep the pace of the time,
helplessly stepping on feet as I'm walking blind

I'm sorry my dear, I swear to God that I tried
to keep this fire going but it stopped & it died.
I'm never going to love again the way I love you,
where every move we make is a beautiful mistake

I suppose it makes sense you're conceiving to leave,
you know if you hold on too long, your fingers bleed
and just the same as these dead and dying leaves
the seasons must change, and now you see our reprieve
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