Mental Health Support Thread (NOT for giving medical advice, or debating)

I'll be honest with you man. My friends are in a way, different than me. They want to get jobs, earn money, and then have fun. They talk about stupid shit, stupid shit is fun to talk about, and I go home and think about life and politics and whatever. I have different mind set than them, I want to dedicate my life to doing something that I feel like is worth doing rather than make money and have fun. BUT, that doesn't mean what they are doing isn't worth doing, or that they don't see on the same level I do, they just see life with a different perspective. So as I've dropped off radar for awhile, so I could focus on reading and writing for awhile, I'll come back on radar again, hangout with the friends who want to play StarCraft and talk for hours on skype, because their my friends, despite the fact that we have different perspective on life.

Keep the normalcy in your life, it will keep you sane. And when the normalcy starts driving you crazy, have some alone time. But NEVER make yourself seem to be on a level greater than others. You say people don't understand you, which may mean they lack empathy, but if you think you're on a level greater or more "deep", then you sir, for sure, lack empathy. Trust me, this i'm different crap is doing to drive you in a corner and ruin your happiness.

Happened to me when I went through my parents divorce (with detail I could not possible provide) when I was 15, being around friends who all had seemingly perfect families. I was stupefied with hormones and depression. Now that I'm twenty, over that phase of my life, I feel great! Trust me man, try to relate, don't let your feelings get the best of you. I sure did, and I can tell you, it was a total waste of time, except when you get out of it, you'll learn a lot about yourself. But no amount of learning is worth being alone and sad haha.

Drink a kale shake, go running. Exercise and dieting is actually a great way to be deeper if that's your thing anyways. Plus, maybe it'll make you happier!

 

Excellent post slippingbeauty. I am a senior and do see some of my identity in Sanjuricus' outline. As other posters have remarked, what you have written appears the basis, the start of a fine, deep and searching story of a young person whose mind is rather further ahead and hence practically isolated from all around herself. I think of Kierkegaard for reasons of his own personal battles in communicating, finding his faith (and yr countryman). Most interesting is the dumb down - that is what it is - of the symbols of your world into the American frame, something that you importantly recognize and which as a creative person, then, you must fight and use to create your own identity and (express) your work - your art.

As a senior, I, too have had the most powerful battles of identity as a teen and young man maturing on an American landscape. It appeared everyone wanted to hand me, dictate, a ready identity, all parceled and ready; but, more significantly, there was no one to communicate with other than images and symbols I began to draw from

books.

It was these that saved my life. Now you are a woman; I as a young black man drew my 'differences' and kaleidoscope of definitions from such writers as Richard Wright and Ralph Ellison. I liked and admired the fact that Richard Wright became an expatriot; Paul Robeson, too. Both of these figures were also another extreme anti-American symbol: communists. I studied all they studied, read history and yet continued to operate as a young man with typical interests.

So you are fighting and, in an intelligent way, you are forging who are. You refuse to be dominated by the common currency (and can't find like-minded individuals). I don't know of all the feminist tracts that could not only help free your mind but that could also risk endangering and isolating you in the wrong way, but there are very good, free, independent and healthy women writers you should read. I believe studies in art and art expression help a lot. I was at first a music major, English, history, philosophy; it made no difference as long as I was studying, inquiring. That is a safe and good occupation at your age. Perhaps it's not good to let yourself be caught at the wild.

Hey, I have four or five proteges, young people whom I have taught; young blacks in Chicago who took tech computer studies from me. My favored one is your age and she went against my thinking and studied a liberal arts discipline and now cannot find a job and I hope and pray that the gods can hear her and get her to grad school. Another one, interestingly, went into a family way - geeze, why am i discussing all this - but only recently has reconnected with me as she continues to pursue her tech studies, joining all the others, individually. I say this all because you are in a good spot and you recognize your 'difference'. You must keep it protected and you must realize you are creating yourself and your image and that others will follow you eventually, your inspiration. Gertrude Stein and Toklas I have recently had to re-enlighten myself with, perhaps for this... I say simply, then, in a mindless way, it's enjoying life that you must be about while understanding that parts of your brain cannot and will not function smoothly with everyone and accepting that as a necessary, growing truth. Use that part to create and write with - like such as Emily Dickinson - and keep writing, creating your full self.

(I strongly suggest that you read the classic authors - although they will stand to impress you differently years later in your life. You will not understand such as Dostoevsky, but you should give Crime and Punishment a chance; Madame Bovary? - I think Simone de Beauvoir made some practical sense as a very smart woman. I wonder what your read of Anita Brookner would be? She writes of searching, settled mature women. And then there's the playful Ann Tyler. The powerfully isolated, retired school teacher Olive Ketteridge of Elizabeth Stout - great sketches of other women in this work. There's such a vast, large offering of studies, l mean literature, good literature out there for you to see the unfolding of character. Some may be accessible to you. Lastly, women psychologists/philosophers, specifically Carol Gilligan.)

 

Borderline personality disorder.

 

cherish your uniqueness and don't wallow in self-pity, rejoice!

what does it matter if no one can relate to your pov on life, or you can't relate to theirs?... allow yourself to be comfortable in your own skin and don't waste time and energy wishing to be like anyone else... or on the futile wish than anyone else will be like you...

read this piece i wrote about myself, as i also cannot relate to humans and can't figure out what the bleep i'm doing in a human body, when i have nothing in common with the species:

Alienation of Affection
http://www.saysmom.com/maia/content.asp?Writing=11

and email me if you feel like commiserating with a fellow 'alien'...

love and hugs, maia
maia3maia@hotmail.com

 

While I'm obviously not going to go into detail, I can say that this person and I were good friends for a very long time. I was one of the first people he 'came out' with his bisexuality to, but even then I could tell he was very scared about what I would think. It honestly gave me a huge respect for him as a person. I wasn't one of the first though, and he was still kind of in doubt about it when he told me, I think, but since then he's been much more open.

I don't actually know how long he had hidden his passion for both genders, he has never really talked about what journey lead him to identify himself as bisexual, but (you seem to be absolutely right) it seemed to come at a time when he was much more comfortable with who he is as a person. He had just lost a lot of weight, studying at the local college, and since he has been making a real effort to improve himself.

 

What specifically don't they get?

If you want to be taken seriously as an intellectual recluse, you need to present specific examples of the things you say that other people are not able to comprehend.

It's possible you're deluding yourself, that you don't have anything (yet) of substance yourself.

 

There are certainly like-minded individuals who would enjoy your company/discussing things with you. After all, there are other writers, artists, and thinkers out there. You just have to find them.

As for your friends, if you open up to them, maybe they'll open up to you. I speak from personal experience.

 

Welcome to reality...

Society is shallow, because people are afraid of showing their true selves... Most people feel the same way as you at some point in their life, but then they learn to deal with it, or find a couple of people that they can really relate to. Sometimes that never happens... then those people become writers.

 

Slippingbeauty, I think you'll find that many, if not most, of us here on this forum either feel or have felt the way you do. Probably everyone in the world, with the possible exception of the dullest, have been exasperated with the shallowness of society. You aren't special. James Russell Lowell once said, "Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this, that you are dreadfully like other people."

Like everybody else, I have all sorts of deep thoughts, but I don't like to talk about them. It's not that I'm scared of doing so, or uncomfortable, it's just that I'm lazy. If I were to explain how I really feel to someone, it would take so much time and effort that I just don't bother trying. That's probably my main reason for writing - again, just like everyone else!

 

("...at times I wish there was a thanks button..." mentioned the goblin, adding "...I would press it for what I have just read...")

 

really bored with at effin goblin....

 

I put it on ignore - can't read it, can't aggravate me.

 

Wait, is this the beginning to a really good novel centering a narcissistic personality, or a honest rant? I am so confused...but if this is a book, I wanna read it. Now.

 

Personally i think life can just get plain repetitive at times. I hate that. Why can't people talk about stuff outside of ordinary life? I try to talk about what i write, my fantasies, everything that interests me but they just ignore me or say for me to shut up. I think this is the plague of those who see a higher plain of being. We walk in the clouds and never touch the ground -forsaking all normal things to try and grasp that which is truly creativity.

Life is dull, grey, always swirling in a downward spiral. Make a difference and grab at the sun to shine! Care not for those who wish to tear you down -they are like rocks in a bag you carry as you try to fly higher and higher in an attempt to save them from the abyss below! DROP THE BAG!

 

"Ignore me" said the Goblin "But why?"

sorry shadow walker, couldn't resist, prey tell - is there a secret "ignore" button somewhere, it's starting to really grate on me.

isn't there an RPG somewhere for it?

 

There's something about this website that attracts people like you. It's surprisingly common. With writers, I suppose it comes with the territory. Some sort of belief that they have some higher state of consciousness, or something...

Anyway, it sounds like you need to find friends who are more like-minded. If you can't get any sort of enjoyment out of your friendships maybe you haven't got the right friends? You seem quite self-absorbed. In my opinion, you need the small talk in friendships even if it's only superficial. Without that, there'd be no contrast. If I had deep conversations with people all the time, believe me, after a day or two of that sort of indulgence, I'd be going out of my mind to talk about something different. There's a time and a place for everything. Get over yourself.

 

There's a reason for that: Your fantasies and theirs are very different. I have a roommate who talks all the time about his fantasies, dreams, plans, etc., and it drives me up the wall.

The thing you have to understand is that when you talk to someone, you're demanding their attention. You are basically telling them that they should put their own thoughts aside and listen to you talk about yours until you're done. You're saying to them that your thoughts are more interesting and more important than theirs.

Well, what I have going on in my head is far more interesting to me than what my roommate has going on in his head, so I wish he'd just shut the hell up and let me think my own thoughts. I think when people ignore you or tell you to shut up, maybe it's not because they're dull-witted and uncreative; rather, it may be because they might be even more creative than you are and you are interrupting their own thoughts and fantasies.

Writing books is very different. It's a form of communication that's in the control of the reader. If you write a book that depicts your wonderful fantasies, and he doesn't like it, he essentially tells you to shut up by throwing your book in the trash. If he likes your book, he'll read the whole thing and probably keep buying more of your books. The point is, the reader is in control. If you were there in the room telling him your story, he's not in control - the only way he can put your book aside, as it were, is to tell you to shut up. He has his own thoughts to think, and has no time for yours.

If you're a fan of high fantasy, would you appreciate someone forcing you to read gritty detective stories? What if you were dreaming of your fantasy world and the characters you're so proud of creating, and the gritty detective story writer walked into your room and starting babbling loudly about Dirty Harry tracking down serial killers in San Francisco? You'd probably tell him to shut up, wouldn't you?

This is probably why a lot of very creative, intelligent people don't talk much. They don't like people talking to them, so they assume others wouldn't want to listen to them. It's a matter of respecting the thoughts of the other person.

 

pretty cool stuff

Haha wow a lot of this does seem like they are writing about me... In discussions I usually confuse people because I will start with explaining my point of view, but when the counter part fails to explain his point of view in a satisfying way; I have to do it for him, for the discussion to even be justified.
It does not always fit to describe me as an introvertet type though, I can be that but I can also be very social, and my family often likes to think we have latino ancestors because we are all so temperamental. So yes I can be quiet, withdrawn and observing, but people often view me as the leader of a group because I usually take enitiative to do things and I can be very social... Do you still think I would fit with the INTP description?

 

Haha I loved that poem!!
Especially the ending:

"Dance on this ball-floor thin and wan,
Use him as though you love him;
Court him, elude him, reel and pass,
And let him hate you through the glass."

= my life

I knew I would get a lot of comments like these about that I come across as arrogant, why dont you all try to be a little less predictable? Joking haha
Anyways you have the wrong idea of what I mean when I talk about depth, I dont want to hear peoples dirty secrets, I mean I wouldnt mind hearing them, but thats not what its about. When I talk about the depth I am missing in people, I mean the ability to philosophe about life, about purpose, good and evil etc, this answer also goes out to all of you who have been misunderstanding me the same way.

 

I think for a person to say they are too "deep" for society comes across as arrogant to me. It's one thing to say that society might have a problem dealing with YOUR emotional needs. It could be that maybe YOU tend to over think things. Yet when you say you are too "deep" for society that means something different to me. I think about it along the lines of you believing you can see farther into things and understand them better, which is really self-centered to be honest. The idea you are bringing up here, might not be that you can see things deeper, but that YOU can't handle the emotions yet of seeing things for what they really are, and not just what they are on the surface.

So until you start looking at this as a problem you need to work on, verses a problem that society has, in not meeting YOUR standards, and being able to understand YOU, then you are going to continue to have problems.

 

haha...

So as I said before, I am introverted sometimes but I am also the extreme opposite, a lot of days I wake up and I know that day I will feel the need to be very social the entire day and I call all my friends and make plans for that day (because I dont like to make plans days ahead of time, I like to do what I feel like in that moment)
I love to just get an idea of something crazy and just bring my friends along and have an experience, so Im definitely not just an introverted observer. So I have more than one side to my personality, like I can see that Bdriscoll3 can relate to.

I love contrasts!!!!! couldnt agree more!!!! will certainly try to get over the fact that Im the most attractive person in the world!!!!

Thank you for your input but I do not write self help books... Yes I came to this site to learn some tricks on the writing process, Im not as arrogant as people might believe and I already feel Ive picked up on a few things from other writers on this website, so thanks all!

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH these beautiful compliments are like music to my ears Everyone has a deep sexual need to have a borderline personality disorder.

True... to everyone saying basically that I need to grow up, you all probably think this makes me sad to be compared to a child, but the truth is I AM a child and I am also your great grandmother

LOL at people hating the goblin... you are all little tiny cute whales to put in my pocket


Thanks molark, mammamia and Keitsumah for the thoughtful support

I talk a lot though, maybe it is because I love listening to myself you know what Im talking about guys?

 

Like I said before, you need to meet new people who have the same interests. Most of my friends talk about sports, TV shows, etc., which I'm perfectly fine with. I enjoy talking about those things as well, so it doesn't bother me. But if I want to have a meaningful conversation about, say, ethics or something, I spend time with a few friends who like talking about philosophy and, more importantly, who know what they're talking about.

Anyways, if you ever want to talk philosophy, feel free to PM me. I love talking about such things.

 

("...nah, I'm not saying you need to grow up at all, where such conformity within one I flatly reject as something quite external here, a ruse to make one conform 100% to their dailylife whatever perhaps, but even so, the discrepancy shown in one's continued posting points to the fact that they're wrong and that you're individuality triumphs, indeed I could hardly be recommending being old like me to you now, instead I was merely pointing out that "dailylife" is all about you at at their values conforming whereas being on-line is more about you at your own values, and that, within that context then, that in one's continued posting one's writing nature will appear out of that posting, hence I called it a journey to self in posts before...", or merely the goblin had been pointing out the difference between the peter pan of one's on-line alter-ego here from the wendy of one's aging dailylife there, adding "...first off, if you write like everyone else, then just like everyone else is all that it'll ever be, just their 3% again, in that this forumland is like some vast infinite where you and I are utterly minuscule and momentary upon its surface, I mean it's here and now now, and it would be ever such a pity to not learn who you are by what you post writing as you see fit in the short time remaining, oh yes, for in dailylife you must conform as we all must do, yet on forumland you just go through forum after forum after form until you came across the ones that will accept you letting you evolve your writing nature, just wendy or peter pan then...")

 

I know

Yes I know I wasnt actually replying to you when I said "to everyone saying basically that I need to grow up" I only used one of your lines for my own purpose))
And yes... who knows maybe writing posts here will lead me to a solution? hahaha

 

("...then write, and I will read you, not as some educator might, but merely as a creature who feeds on posts does..." replied the goblin off to work now)